Parents Are Not Helping

I can see being upset if they aren't interested or want anything to do with it, but no one has to help you with your wedding. I can see being upset if you thought your parents would help and they didn't offer. I would just take a step back and be thankful for the people who are helping with your big day.

@Brittany: Lol your comment made me laugh. Unfortunately we don't want to move. We live in Canada in suburb just outside of Vancouver (You know where the 2010 winter olympics were held) and things are just brutal expensive here. A example is we buy our gas in liters here. And it is a $1.50 here per liter. So that works out to about $5.60 a gallon for you guys.......

Ashley & Amanda very true! We also built a new home so we can relate. Also learned that it all works out in the end. AND we get that it's 2014!! 2014 or NOT to peps thy say we want a part so we pay!! Sorry but if our child was having a wedding, we would at least offer to help in any way and yes they can afford it. We did tho into this wanting handouts. It's the moral thing to do as parents not just think they come to party it up and go home! We all have different opinions but when a parent doesn't even check in to ask it's pretty disgusting! As for not talking about this with my FH NOT! As I don't need to hide it as he doesn't hide how he feels about it either!

I completely understand what you meant. Its not about EXPECTING them to pay, its the JESTURE. Im in the same position. I can pay for the wedding all by myself but i would at least like the support, the hey we can help if you need. Now if they arent economically blessed id understand. But i feel like the parents should at least offer something maybe not money but help with appointments, DIYS, Choosing things. It just show they care. And hey if they still refuse to help who cares! Focus on you and your soon to be hubby! L ts of hugs and luck!

@Angela: I totally agree. When my FH and I have kids one day we will do everything we can to either pay completely for their wedding or pitch in money. I personally think it is the right thing to do. I don't care if people think its old fashioned. Its a nice ritual that I happen to think is great.

Just because they can afford it does not mean that is how they want to spend their money. A wedding is a bride, groom, license, officiant, and maybe a witness or two. Everything else is optional, so if you want the bells and whistles you should pay for it. It is not the moral thing to do. Sorry but no....you've got it twisted.

#girlbye

Are you willing to give his parents say on everything if they contribute? Because that's how it goes....

@Ashley, oh that explains it! My dad is Canadian, and most of my family still lives up there! Mostly in Alberta though.

Consider yourself lucky that your parents can help at all, instead of complaining that his aren't. I'd never dream of expecting help from family - we're having a small informal wedding because it is what we can afford.

Also, if I want my immediate family to be able to attend? I'm going to have to pay for them to come down here as it isn't something my mom can afford.

The gesture is nice, but by no means required, and complaining about it just comes off as being childish.

@Brittany: Yeah my family is from Alberta too. MUCH cheaper out there.

Lol, I wonder if it is a Canadian thing to expect the parents to pay. Amanda and Angela and I are all from Canada. Different provinces. But same country. Funny coincidence.

Maybe his parents can't afford it. Mine sure can't. My parents are divorced and both live paycheck to paycheck and I have always known whenever I get married they will not be able to help, as much as they want to, they just cant. My FH's family on the other hand can help. So it is myself, FH and his family paying for our wedding. While I wish my parents were better off and could help, I am very grateful that his family can.

Be thankful that yours are helping and let that be that. it's not the old days anymore. your parents aren't required to pay for anything. if you want to get married, plan on paying for it yourself and be thankful for the help you do HAPPEN to get.

not everyone is even as close to as lucky. we are paying for our wedding entirely ourselves, and we're really ok with that. it's our wedding. we can afford the wedding we want. and to be honest, i'm glad no one else gets to put their two cents into the planning (literal or figuratively). it's bad enough i have to run everything by FH, let alone a parent who tried to start dictating certain things. lol.

You know what's funny? When I first got engaged, my dad offered to pay for EVERYTHING. I flat out refused. I told my parents "no way." I don't think they realized how much weddings cost nowadays haha. Also, I'm an adult, a grown woman, with some good savings, and so is my groom. We can pay for at least half of the wedding. (We technically could pay for it all but I think it'd be rude to refuse ANY help.)

Agreeing with Ashely S here. My parents and us are paying for mostly everything but my FH is going to talk to his parents about the rehearsal dinner. Not so much ask them to pay, but just to see if there is anything they can help with.

We live in Alberta as does is his family and things are definitely cheaper here! I'm originally from Maple Ridge, BC and lived in Vancouver while going to University, sooooo expensive!

I don't understand why you would ask you parents to see what they can help with? If they want to help they will, otherwise pay for it yourself. sheesh.

News flash; most of the couples I work with are paying for 'it' themselves. If your parents can help, I'm sure they are delighted to be able to gift you. If his can't or won't, well......it is what it is.

Omg thats hilarious Melanie! What are the odds eh? Yeah its freaking ridiculous out here. We are even looking at buying further into the valley because it is so expensive.

I like your idea of asking them to do the rehearsal dinner. Nice way to include them.

My parents are not paying for anything but small stuff because that's all they can afford and I am not upset. FH's parents are only paying for the rehearsal dinner.

My parents also paid for most of our wedding, I'm from Alberta. But then that is what my parents have wanted to do since I was young. And they can afford to do it. My in-laws were not asked to contribute anything besides paying for their gas, hotel rooms and showing up. They were nice enough and offered to pay for our cake, rehearsal dinner and supplies for DH's aunt to make our ceremony programs.

@Ashley all of my extended family lives in the Lower Mainland-Delta, Surrey, West Van, Coquitlam, I know how expensive it is. My dad is thankful everyday they moved out of BC like 35 years ago.