Parents Are Not Helping

It's YOUR wedding. No parent is under ANY obligation to offer.

We are blessed in that both families are contributing something. However, when we made all our original wedding plans, we made sure to plan the wedding we could afford without planning on anyone to help us.

It's wrong to think that his family should pay for your party. Do not bring this up to him or them, as your wedding is one day & they will be your in laws forever.....

Sorry, but the answer is because it's 2014. No one is supposed to be paying for anything unless they want to. It's all well and good that your parents are, but it's your wedding. No one has to contribute except you and your future hubby.

It's not the parents' responsibility to pony up for their kids' weddings these days. If they do offer money, consider it a generous gift. But you should never EXPECT it, and never feel hurt or offended if they don't offer help.

Because it's up to them to offer a gift, if they choose. I never expected my parents to pay ANYTHING towards my 1st or this wedding. Adults making the decision to marry shouldn't be looking for handouts from parents. JMO.

Maybe they can't afford to help money wise??

Sorry, but it is not his parents responsibility to pay for the wedding. He is a grown man. If he wants to throw a party, he pays for it. There are many reasons that they could not be offering....maybe they are having financial difficulties that you aren't aware of, or maybe they just find weddings to be a waste of money (many people do).

Um our parents are not paying for our wedding and I'm not in the least bit surprised or angry. If you are getting married I'm a firm believer of you should be able to pay for YOUR own wedding. It is very nice of your parents to have offered, but his parents are in no way obligated to.

Even if it wasn't 2014, and the average wedding is $28,000, and it is pretty standard for weddings to be paid for by the couple. Traditionally the grooms parent's were never under any obligation to help with the wedding cost, that would fall on the brides family. And the Groom's parent's were sometimes held to covering a rehearsal dinner.

And if you need to ask other people for help paying for it then you need to scale back to what you can afford to pay for yourself.

Groom's parents don't typically pay for anything for the wedding. They do usually plan/pay for the rehearsal dinner. But if that hasn't been offered, I guess he could just ask them if they would help with it or if they plan on helping.

Your wedding = you pay. If a parent wants to help, that is great, but totally optional. We are getting some help from my parents, but are paying for the majority of it by ourselves (and keeping it small to help with the budget). FH's mom is not paying at all. It all depends on the situation.

How can any parent not offer to help!?! Is this really a real question? I thought it was 2014 last time I checked. Also, don't listen to @Soon to be a Mrs. asking your parents or anyone for money for YOUR wedding is rude (family or not). If they wanted to pay they would offer.

You never know why they aren't offering to help and in reality they don't have to help. Your parents don't have to either. You decided to get married, you pay.

We went into this not expecting our parents to put up a dime. Since then, my mom has paid for the materials ($110) for my dress that she's sewing, and FMIL has offered to pay for the flowers, which will be around $200. We haven't asked for, and aren't expecting anything. We're two ADULTS who want to get married, and we always expected to pay for things ourselves. I know that some couples are very lucky that their parents are helping out with money, but we would've never EXPECTED it.

This is only fun when OP responds....

We asked both my parents and his parents to pay for the wedding. We know that now a days usually the couple pays for the wedding, and it isn't just up to the parents anymore. But we can't afford the wedding and trying to buy a home all at the same time. Where I live homes that are dumps start at $400,000. So trying to fit a wedding into saving for a down payment wasn't plausable.

That, and I know both sets of parents can handle footing the bill. So I didn't feel bad asking. If your comfortable asking and need the help then ask! If you feel as though it might be tight for them to contribute then that's probably why they didn't offer. Do whatever makes you more comfortable. You know better then anyone else!

It is very similar with me. My FH and I are paying for much of it and both my parents have offered to pay for large parts of the wedding as well. I feel so greatful for their help.

But my FH's parents haven't offered to help with money or anything. I guess we are different in that my FH is ok with his parents not helping out.

If you really want and need their help perhaps pick something that they can help with. Find something that his parents will enjoy helping with and have your FH ask them nicely if they could help with that. Maybe they don't know that you want or need help with the wedding.

@Ashley, if crap houses start around $400k, you need to move girl! lol. We're trying to save up for a house too. It's frustrating for sure.

Just be happy we're not living in the really olden days. You and your parents would be paying FHs parents!

^^^"Take my daughter for two goats."

^^ LOL Tina!

Talk to them about the rehearsal dinner? that's traditionally their responsibility but obviously they don't HAVE to do anything