Out of Town Wedding -- Can I only invite Wedding Guests to Bridal Shower???

I would be expecting a wedding invitation if I were invited to a bridal shower.

I am having a destination wedding as well and am only inviting those that are invited to the wedding. I also think it's rude. It's like "hey, come bring a gift even though you aren't invited."

That's typically the "rule" but my college roommates threw me a shower in my college town and they invited some of my friends from school (without my knowledge) who weren't invited to the wedding. It was nice to see these girls, and none of them were outraged. Though, it can leave hurt feelings.

I do think if you're having a destination it's a different issue.

I think if its people you are close and love it is ok to invite them. I, too am having a destination wedding and there are some friends and work friends who arent invited and they specifically told me they want to be at the shower. Just dont go overboard

NO i was invited to a shower & not a wedding and i STILL talk about how trashy that was!!!

I have some friends I can't invite to the wedding. I thought about inviting them to the shower with a note saying "please do not bring a gift". I think it might still be offensive though. I say don't do it

Agreed with everyone. Though I don't find it tacky to have two showers as long as you don't host them and everyone is also invited to the wedding.

I got invited to a shower and not the wedding. I was hurt.

It would be rude to not invite them. I would feel like I was invited for the sake of giving a gift but that you didn't think I was good enough to invite to the wedding

Don't do it! I was recently invited to a shower, and then got no wedding invite, I'm very hurt by it. It's like saying I want all the presents/money but don't want to spend the money on you to invite you to my wedding. Verrrrry tacky

Like everyone said, it IS rude to invite someone to the shower who is not invited to the wedding. One exception to this is at the workplace if co-workers throw you a shower.

As far as multiple showers go, that's fine as long as again the people who are invited are invited to the wedding and also there shouldn't really be overlap of people invited to both showers with the expectation to give a gift at each.

I think it would be fine since you are having a destination wedding

I find it very rude when invitations are given for the bridal shower, then not the wedding. it's like you're basically telling that person you expect them to cough up a gift but they're not good enough to attend the actual wedding.

Don't do it. It's so rude. Find another way to celebrate with those friends that isn't based on them giving you gifts.

It's very rude to invite people to your bridal shower and then not send them an invite to the wedding.

It's the same etiquette as sending a STD. If you send a STD, then you also need to send an invite.

Rude for sure. You could put together a lunch date with these girls or something but the rules still stand on destination weddings. I'd be offended. Definitely would think you won't pay for me to attend your wedding but you want a gift from me to help celebrate something I am not allowed to attend?

You have two alternatives. You could invite them to the wedding, even though you don't think they'd be able to attend due to the distance. Or you could have them to lunch at something that is not a shower. The only exception is that if people at your work throw you a shower, they can invite other people from work who are not invited to the wedding.

That is correct, only those receiving a wedding invitation are invited to the shower. You just have to have a smaller shower. The only alternative is to have a marriage celebration (no "shower" in it) and let it be known there will be no gifts opened during the party or expected from anyone, it is just a party for to show your appreciation for everyone you regretfully couldn't invite. It comes across really rude to invite them to the shower and not the wedding, even if your hear is in the right place don't do it.

We travelled 700 miles (train, flight, rental car) to a my nephew's wedding, having offered a present worth $6000 to the groom (in the form of sponsored concerts in our area the following year). Guess what - we did not even get an invitation to the eve-of-wedding event.

And indeed (again in breach of wedding etiquette, which prioritizes faraway guests in matters of accommodation) a block booking was made for musician colleagues/buddies of the couple (who being relatively local, required only one night's accommodation) while leaving other invitees – regardless of how far they had travelled, or how advanced in years – to fend for themselves (I quote:” don’t leave it too late, as the rooms will get booked up quickly”. In other words a free-for-all among faraway and family guests…).