Open Bars and Alcoholics

No to tickets, cash bars, semi-cash bars etc etc

Have an open bar, maybe just do beer + wine?

Tell the bar tenders and confirm that they will keep an eye on those who see to be having issues controlling their drinking and cut them off.

Done.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic.

You will just have to trust that this person/these people can handle themselves, and if they can't trust that the bartenders will identify the problem and take the proper steps to cut them off. I understand. My family has a similar issue.

You were exactly right when you said "Either way, it feels like punishing guests who can handle their alcohol to make up for the ones who can't." Let adults be adults. In the past, other posters have suggested speaking with your bartenders in advance about those who might overindulge and asking them to monitor them and water down their drinks a little. You absolutely should not cater to these people and neglect the rest of your guests.

ETA: Also, what ELK said. If I were an alcoholic, I'd be drinking whether or not it cost money.

Yeah don't bother.

Anything you do won't stop them.

let them "adult" and work it out. That's why you pay professional bartenders.

Have you considered simply warning the bartenders? My dad told me he wouldn't stay long because my mom and her friends drink a lot. They went through a nasty divorce so if the girls drink they become really nasty towards him.

^^What @ELK and @Kaylie said.

Maybe you need to talk to your DOC about cutting certain people off at a certain time. I don't think people should be punished or have to come out of pocket because a small few can't control themselves.

I say open bar all night for the responsible adults. Cut off people that don't know their limits. Bartenders are trained to know when to cut people off.

I agree with ELK.

I totally get this because I have guilt about our open bar when his dad is a recovering alcoholic. He has been like some 28 years sober now, and totally lives the AA lifestyle, and there is STILL some guilt! That said, he's an adult, and I'm absolutely not going to want to punish others, and you shouldn't either.

If you have alcohol you can't really control who will drink what. Drink tickets? People will trade them. Cash bar? Guests will get cranky real fast. All you can do is trust your bartenders and hope for the best.

My dad is an alcoholic. Is there a very real chance the bartenders will cut him off and he'll ask other people to get drinks for him and finish off drinks belonging to others that are left unattended? Yes. But that's on him not me.

Dont make your guests pay because some people don't know how to handle their alcohol. Open bar all night for all guests.

It is the responsibility of the bartender to cut people off when they have had too much. You are right, making these restrictions is punishing people who can handle themselves. A cash bar will do nothing to stop someone from overdoing it.

My FH is an alcoholic and many of our guests will be his friends from AA. I asked him what we should do regarding a bar at the wedding and he looked at me and just said " are you kidding? of course we will have an open bar" I love that man.

You are insulting people by policing them. An alcoholic will find alcohol if that's what they really want. A recovering alcoholic in AA understands they need to learn to live with alcohol in their social lives and how to keep the commitment they made to themselves and their sponsor. It is not your job to make those choices for them.

If an alcoholic chooses to drink at your wedding, the professional bartender will know when to cut them off. They also have liability insurance if something goes wrong.

It is not your life. It is not your disease. It is not your job.

If you make a cash bar, my initial reaction is to pack a flask or two. And I'm only like 65% an alchy.

Let your guests get as drunk as they want on your dime and if someone goes overboard that'll just be another phone call when they start their steps.

One of the reasons to have a bartender is that they cut people off if they’ve had enough. Make sure you talk to your bartenders about this, and you should be fine.

Duplicate post

A cash bar will not stop an alcoholic. If they want to drink, they will find a way. Don't punish your other guests for someone else's problem anyway. Just make sure your bartenders cut off anyone who goes overboard. That's part of their job.

My brother and one uncle that I know of are alcoholics in recovery. I trust that they will just not drink, like they normally don't when we go to a restaurant or a family get together. They are adults. My FH's dad is an alcohol and not in recovery. I know he will drink. I don't give a shit. He's a grown ass man. He is not about the change and I'm not having a dry wedding so that's that. Plus, if anyone over 21 wants alcohol, they can buy it any day of their life whether they're alcoholic or not.It's all about personal choices.

As for anyone else, I hope they get only as drunk/sober as they feel comfortable being and the bartender cuts them off before it's too much (like I don't want people puking but there is karaoke so you need a little courage).

I am not letting the alcoholics influence my drink serving decisions. That said, we are just having unlimited wine, beer, and one signature cocktail due to cost. There will be water, iced tea, lemonade, and coffee as non-alcoholic beverages.

ETA: Ok, this is kind of a stretch, but say for example you have an eating disorder, or one of your guests does. I know it is not the same, but it's actually pretty similar as far as using a substance or rejection of a substance as a coping mechanism (I know from past experience). Would you not serve food in case it is triggering? Absolutely not! Unless you want the worst wedding ever. You or your guest will deal with their illness the best way they can depending on their stage of recovery and there will be food served and the world will not end.

If it's a cash bar I just take cash out of the card. I'd have no other money on me.

Maybe just give the bartenders a heads up?