Only three days left...

Personally, i think i prenup signals he has thoughts it wont last.

So he's all, "I want to spend my life with you, but don't you be thinking we're going to share any of our stuff!"

WTF is that?!

Theres a lot going on here. The more you post the more I question things. These are all things you should be figuring out before you are even engaged, not 3 days before your marriage. I understand the trust fund but everything else is a little concerning. Why wasn't this figured out and agreed upon?

Does he still want to get married? Have you talked to him about it? And just because your pastor thinks you should still get married isn't reason enough to go through with it if you don't think its right.

That's what I said. A prenup to me is the death of marriage before it starts.

Yes, I have some serious concerns based on the information you're giving, OP. These sound like fundamental differences in perspective and philosophy that need time and communication to work out.

ETA - that is, if they can be worked out at all. :-/

Ya the pastor thing.... everyone who is getting married feels that way? Uhhhhh, this is a site entirely populated by people getting married, and i don't see people saying those sorts of things.

I get the trust fund. But everything else is a little bit of a red flag. These are definitely issues that should have been worked out long before now. Just because the pastor says you should still get married, doesn't mean you should. You need to do what's best for you.

I'm gonna talk to him again to get to the bottom of this. And if we are on the same page, then I will go from there. And I will definitely be praying for God to guide me on what to do. Thank you all for your advice.

FYI--- there's nothing wrong with having a prenup. Its the smart thing to do in some cases- it doesn't mean you love you FH less or the death of the marriage before it starts. There was a huge thread on this topic last week.

That said, I'd get a bottle of bubbly and a xanax and take a breather.

I'm praying for you honey. I hope it's just jitters and these are things you two can work out.

Tell him you're leaving your car to the mailman then.

Best wishes as you figure this all out. Keep us updated?

Thanks you all. Snarky, thanks for the laugh.

I am so sorry for what you're going through. I feel weird giving advice for such a serious situation, but I do think that maybe this is just cold feet/wedding planning stress. However, if you are having serious doubts you should probably delay the wedding. Don't let the nearness of the date be a factor. You need to make the best decision for yourself and your children.

If you're not on the same page financially, you have a very low chance of making it, god or not.

I think it's an overreaction to assume that pre-nup means that a marriage is planning to fail. You have to face the reality that some marriages don't work out, but more importantly, pre-nups get everyone's expectations out on the table. There's nothing inherently wrong in them and it doesn't signify doubt. It signifies maturity and forethought. I would prefer to marry someone who has thought about the future, rather than someone who assumes things will always work out.

As for "my car/his car"....again, I would never co-mingle an asset that depreciates in value and I certainly wouldn't add anyone on to a loan for a car. I just bought a new car and my husband is not on the title for it. But he's certainly insured to drive it as needed.

I really don't understand the comment about your potential children together being protected versus his stepchildren. Is he saying in the event of a divorce? That makes sense to me, honestly.

Yes I will keep you updated. If y'all see a BAM on Monday, we jumped the broom. If not, I'll let y'all know

I want to say that's what he meant Janeen, but it didn't sound that way how he said it.

Then why didn't you talk to him? You're lacking communication here. You can't just assume based on how something sounded.

I did. And those were the words he said. I told him that he should reconsider that and left it be.

I am honestly pretty baffled here. You never closed this issue out?