Only three days left...

I am a MUA on the side. So I can hide those well. And we just finished our last session of premarital counseling Sunday. And it opened my eyes to some things that I had never thought about before. It made me wonder if I am equally yoked with him, are we brought together by God?

I agree completely with Randi here. Weddings are super stressful. Maybe take(or make) some time tonight and go on a date just the two of you, reconnect and evaluate at that point.

But don't make any rash decisions here.

He and I are paying for our entire wedding. Our RD is a worry but not the most of my worries. We've only lived together for a year now. And it will be 2yrs of a relationship in Nov. Been friends for 10yrs next year.

I think you need an alcohol beverage and to just woooosaaahhhh.....from your previous posts, you seemed like you were doing fine. You have never (to my knowledge) gave a reason on here that you weren't sure about your marriage. Are you sure you guys are both just feeling the nerves? What exactly makes you feel not "equally yoked with him" ??? That sounds a little strange to me.

If your saying he's not attentive to the wedding.....a lot of men are like. "whatever you want".....

If this is just about the wedding and stress. You'll get through it. If it's about more than that you need to do some hard and fast decision making.

That's exactly what premarital counseling is for. It's opening your eyes to things you never saw before. If you are both expressing that you think each other has changed and intimacy is long gone... I don't know if getting married right is the right thing to do. It's not going to make anything better and it might make it worse.

I have serious anxiety/OCD issues, especially when stressed, and sometimes I get all worked up about FH not being attentive or whatever too. However, I remind myself that a) it will pass and most of the time I feel really content and good about our relationship and b) there is literally NO evidence he has lost interest in me [insert other worry here] (this was a thing from therapy for OCD). Anyway, my point is, you're not the only person to freak out about stuff. I think the key is communication with FH and knowing yourself well - is it just anxiety/stress, or is it something to legitimately worry about.

Why are you marrying him? Why did you say yes when he proposed? Why did you choose him to be your husband?

And are those reasons still there underneath these stressful feelings? If so, you can work this out with time, patience, and communication.

Wishing all the best for you BlessedandFavored.

ETA - Lucy is right about premarital counseling.

Maybe it is the wedding stuff. But I've even told him that when we talk or even try to be romantic with each other, I feel that he has no interest. Its like the switch of reality flicked on and the swing of things came into gear that once Saturday comes, we're in this for life until death. No divorce, but I feel that maybe I am the only one that feels and thinks that.

Ok whoa just saw your comment about being unequally yoked. What makes you say that?

So you went through counseling and neither one of you voiced your opinions about the other changing? If it wasn't a concern during the sessions maybe you are just freaking out because you are nervous. Take some time for yourself and breathe. Maybe have a relaxing night with FH if possible away from all wedding things.

Ive been with FH for 8 years now. there are definatly times when intamicy isnt at the highest. But i would think right before sucha big life event it would be here.

maybe this is his way of dealing with the stress?

So it's not just wedding stuff? It's bleeding into your romantic/intimate time?

He has different views to mine, which is totally fine. But at first we were so synchronized on how we wanted things pertaining to our lives yo be. Maybe I do need a drink. I love him with all that's in me. When I said equally yoked, I was referring to what it said in the Bible. Because I know some people know and feel that God put them together and I don't know that for sure. I know he loves me and is in love with me. Its just since this engagement and wedding planning has came about, I didn't feel it as much.

I think it's nerves for both of y'all!! It'll be ok!

He brought up to me a few months ago about a prenup, and I was honestly floored. I feel that getting a prenup is basically killing your marriage before it starts. And I told him this and he just insisted that I think about it first.

I voiced my opinion about this in counseling and our Pastor spoke with us separately and then again together. He said that he felt and knew that we should still get married, and that what I was feeling and thinking is normal for people who are about to get married.

I am praying that this is his way of dealing with stress. And hopefully I am just having cold feet, ankles, or something. Because I can't imagine my boys and my life without him. Maybe I need to get ready to leave work and go home and meditate. Tap into my inner self.

Well, the mention of a prenup itself isn't that big of a deal. Does he have a retirement? Or any land? Or a trust fund? What exactly is he asking to be put in the prenup?

He has a retirement, but so do I. He also has a trust fund set up from his deceased grandmother for him. He wants a prenup because even though he loves my sons, he wants any children that we may have in the future protected. Which threw a curveball at me. Why not distribute it evenly throughout all of the children? And he wants his car to stay his and mine stay mine. Also that his money stays his and mine stays mine. I don't think that way, once we say I do, everything is both of ours and our children's.