O'dourves- yay or nay?

I don't know how you guys do things, but we budget our lives 4 months out. I have 4 months worth of our normal bills and wedding payments saved up, so if I broke my leg and couldn't work, we'd be ok for that long. If we have large misc. expenses come up, I don't pay it out of the 4 month cushion. I usually put it on a card pay it off within a couple months, so we don't deplete the cushion entirely at once. Which is probably what I will do if I don't have this extra cost entirely saved up by the wedding date.

Celia, sadly, that was without taxes and service charge... I was in shock.

HisBeauty- I'm not sure what you're saying? I said I would be having special alternatives for people with restrictions.

Who eats a fruit salad at a cocktail party?

If you went to an average restaurant here and ordered an appetizer that come in pieces, like fried shrimp or sliders, 4-6 pcs per person, that would cost at leat 8 bucks.

It's not rally that mysterious....

I'm defensive because people started asking why my fiancé doesn't work and why I don't get another job. All I was saying was "wow these are more pricey than I really thought".

Our hors were $20pp for cheese/fruit/vegetable/cracker display and three passed apps. For 112 people that was over $2,000. Yes, hors d'oeuvres are expensive. Cut that guest list!

I'm always confused why it's so baffling to people than a woman is the sole source of income for a couple. I know women in school full time without jobs, and if their male partner is supporting them, people hardly say anything. I'm super proud that I own two businesses, bought a home, and support myself and him all on my own. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't work, because he's working on something more that will pay off in the long run, going to school twice as long and working a min. wage job.

I've seriously never ever eaten an appetizer at a wedding, so I didn't know. The assumption that I would be having a cash bar because I didn't know appetizers are standard is kind of a jerk move.

There are ways for your FH to bring in some funds. I work in medicine and know how important plasma donation is. Unless he has health problems that would prohibit him from donating, he could make hundreds of dollars in the next 18 months.

He doesn't weigh enough to donate plasma. I have a friend who does it and was talking about your have to have a "normal range BMI".

Anyway, I will be spending the money on appetizers. Thanks for letting me know they're expected.

Most donation require a minimum weight of 110 pounds or minimum BMI of 15. If you FH doesn't meet those minimums, something is probably wrong and he needs to see a doctor.

Going to the chapel, that depends on his height. For a short person, 110 lbs. may be a reasonable weight. And many places won't take you if you are under 110 lbs., no matter your BMI.

I phrased that poorly. A minimum weight of 110 pounds. A minimum BMI of 15. Looking at the avatar, he looks to be average height to a bit tall. If he isn't 110 pounds, that's a problem. If he is below a BMI of 15, that's a problem - he is severely underweight.

Yes to hors d'oeuvres, we are having 4 passed options plus a cheese and Mediterranean display. We are having a late ceremony so we want our guest to be kept happy until dinner.

He has pectus excavatum. Being underweight is very common with PE.

Yes you need something...imagine that you are attending a wedding, you ate lunch at noon, had to get ready, arrive, you are standing around while everyone is getting pictures and all you have is a drink...not a pretty thing...Ask you caterer what they think is an adequate amount per person is. Some say three pieces per person per hour, others will suggest displays such as cheese and crackers, fruit tray, or crudités. Ask the caterer for their most inexpensive items and then choose 2-3 from there.

I just did a simple fruit platter and a cheese tray for the hour we had in between. Something to snack on especially since they will be drinking.

Totally why I asked. I usually drink like 3 espressos throughout the day (probably why I have crohns lol) and don't eat most wedding days, so I never see this angle of it.

We're already married, but our friend who is a JOP just did it in her living room. This wedding is really just for us, because we of health issues we ended up getting married much sooner than we had planned for a wedding.

So, this isn't a wedding at all. It's a celebration of marriage.

So he's not your FH, he's your H. Ok cool.

Skip the fancy party then if it's such a struggle to pay for cocktail hour food.