NWR: BYOB Party? Really?

I don't see that as a problem. If you can ask your guests to do such a thing you have to be close with them. I share, you share type thing. Usually though it's not only BYOB but it's kind of a potluck type thing?

Most of our family events are like that.

I am going to a party tonight too... well it's not much of a party party. There are UFC fights on tonight and they are having people over for it... and they sent out a text to everyone saying that they needed to bring 10 dollars to help pay for the fight and food... I guess it's not that big of a deal though since it isn't like a formal party... but... hmm.. I don't know... it just felt weird to get a text like that lol BUT I love them very much so it's all good!

Hrm. Well, to me, it's basic manners to always bring a bottle of wine for the hostess, and then she may choose whether or not to serve it.

Telling me to specifically pack what I specifically want to drink makes a party, which is generally a communal experience, kinda "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours." It rubs me the wrong way.

If you don't have the means to host, then don't host. It's rude to foist your expenses onto your guests.

That would throw me off. Maybe I misunderstood. If you bring something to a party it should be for everyone and not just for yourself.

Potluck parties are the way to go around here. It's just a matter of sharing with your friends or family. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Yep Stacey - BYOB means "bring your own booze." Yikes.

I think BYOB is very, very different from potluck. Potluck everyone brings something to share with teh group. BYOB is, "This is my six-pack of beer and nobody else can have any, and I can't have any of your wine, either."

I guess everyone has different friends, and different party expectations.

Don't parties usually come with a keg for the vikings?

(I'm however with you Shannon, and always brings something with, I never need to be "told")

When I see BYOB I think potluck. I know what the abbreviation says but I interpret it as. "We do not have a lot so bring some of your own to share." Does that make sense?

I see your point with "If you can't afford to host a party, don't host a party. " I also never ask people to bring any thing but they always bring something any ways because it just good manners.

I am having a cash bar at my wedding though. It was a big dissusion but some people close to me wanted me to have a cash bar so thats what we are having. there is going to be wine on the table and a round of shots.

Sometimes...but one of the hostesses has now said "bring your own alcohol" in three different messages, which to me implies that I need to cater my own drinks for the night. Luckily it's not the hostess who is a good friend of mine, because I'd be having words with her. Or with her mom, who raised her better than that.

Oh ew. Three times is a little excessive.

Typically when I host a party... I inform people what sort of beverages I will be serving, so that if they want something different or don't like what I am providing, they can bring their own.

But never just flat out BYOB. In my circle though.. typically if they bring something else, they tend to share it too.

I always bring my own, regardless if someone mentions BYOB. Maybe it's just my "circle," but we all just show up with what we want & usually end up sharing it ..sort of [that sounds like we're 5 haha, but I hope you catch my drift].

Well you know I am in total agreement with you on this one. If I am hosting an event, heck, even if you just stop on by, you will always find a full bar of the basics(Vodka, Gin, Rum(2kinds), Whiskey, Scotch, wine, beer). I would never ask my guests to BYOB. And, I never go to a party empty handed. I always go with a bottle of wine as a hostess gift. Perhaps, Shannon, you and I are just older???

Yeah, I think I'm just old.

That or I don't need to be TOLD to bring something, I'll do it anyway. Perhaps the other guests aren't so polite?

I have heard of (and attended) dinners where the host and hostess cook and the guests bring the drinks, but that is (a) among close friends who see the event as sort of a joint-effort, and (b) anything you bring is for sharing.

I was hoping she just didn't understand how BYOB works, but with the subsequent messages...yikes. Better to just cancel.

My friends and I do BYOB get togethers. Its mainly because we all have a different favorite and the fact that we have so many get togethers. Who ever is hosting will supply several different types of drinks and let each other know what we are having and if they want different they bring it. We usually put it all together and everyone drinks whatever. We take turns getting together at each others houses. It works for us. We are a close group and we share the cost of all our gatherings.

And I never show up empty handed to any gathering, not doing so is just bad manners. IMO

If you're such good friends with her, why not ask her why she's concerned with this?

Maybe they recently had a financial turn of events and they can't afford to stock a bar? Or maybe they keep buying alcohol and no one drinks it and it's leftover for months. I have some beer from a June float trip in my fridge. Would you like to bring that? Would you like to drink that?

My friends and I typically do BYOB get together and were in the mid-late 20s. Usually it means I have water in the house and maybe 1 other thing-so if you want something interesting to drink (be it soda or alcohol), bring what you want. about half the people usually bring something to share with whoever wants it and half dont and it works out great.

frankly, if it was something fancier or a small dinner party, then I wouldn't do that unless someone specifically asked, hey what can i bring? but otherwise, if I'm just getting together with friends to hang and have some fun, I dont see the issue.

In wine world, bringing your own wine is done all the time, although it is not truly BYOB. It is, "bring a bottle, and we will all share everything that shows up."