NWR: Birthday Party Invitation - tacky!

Going out as a group for someone's birthday =!= as throwing your own birthday party.

If you're truly throwing your own party, a party in your own honor, I fully believe that it should be fully hosted, like any other event. Maybe not necessarily a full meal, but that guests shouldn't be expected to pay for anything once they arrive.

While I don't necessarily see anything wrong with the basic scenario in the OP, I think turning it into an all day extravaganza is a little much, especially while expecting everyone to pay their own way.

Either way, I couldn't see throwing myself a birthday party, at all.

Sounds like going out for a birthday which is normal to me! I always tell my girlfriends hey lets go out for dinner and drinks for my birthday! They definitely don't expect me to pay for them.

I've thrown my own birthday "parties" before and so have many of my friends. Depends on what a party is in your mind. I've invited friends to dinner, gone to clubs, etc and everyone paid their own way. More recently I invited friends to meet me for happy hour and apps at a bar. Everyone paid for their own drinks & food if they wanted any. I had my own money to pay for myself, but the norm in my circles is not to let the birthday person pay for their own food or drinks. Kind of a thank you from the friends for a good time.

If someone wants to host their friends for a party that's great too, but I don't see and issue with either way. I once had a friend ask me to throw him a birthday party/dinner which I thought was presumptive and rude. Adults can organize their own birthday parties/dinners/etc. I don't see the big deal.

It's not like she asking to pay for Mimosa at her place. It is not tacky to expect everyone else to pay their own expense the rest of the night. It's not like she throwing a wedding

Fall Bride that wristband thing is what all of my friends and I did from the time we were 21 until about 25 or 26. We even rented party buses a few times.

I have always thrown my own birthday party. So maybe it's a social circle thing.

My 30th I had a party at a lounge. I paid for the room and provided catered food, everyone paid for their drinks.

My 34th we went to Joe's Crab Shack - everyone paid for their own food/drinks and my food/drinks were covered by the rest.

For my 38th we went to a Latin restaurant and I had a private area, everyone paid for themselves.

For my 39th I rented a limo and we went to the vineyards - everyone paid their way for the limo which also included lunch and 3 vineyards.

I have no idea what I want to do for my 40th - but I may try to go away, just me and FH.

It's normal and not frowned upon in my social circle. We don't expect to receive gifts - it's about wanting everyone's company. But I know some people DO expect gifts - now that's tacky.

We've discussed this on here before - there will be varying opinions. If you don't have someone throw you a birthday party, then you'll never have one? For your entire life?

This is typical for my friends/family. As adults its too complicated to plan a party for another person. The birthday person usually takes care of the planning and inviting, especially since its hard to contact some people if they are only friends of the bday person. Everyone pays their own way and includes extra for the birthday person. If I plan what I want for my birthday I know I'll be doing something I like. Think its unrealistic to want other adults to plan it but reasonable to want to extend an invitation to people to do something for your birthday.

I've thrown myself birthday parties and hosted a birthday dinner, where I host my guest and provide all the food and drinks. But I have also invited my friends out to dinner/clubs/bars for my birthday and everyone picked up their own tab and they'll split mine and vice versa for their birthdays.

I feel like the last piece of that invite was not needed. If people expect you to pay for their night out that's kind of strange.

Yeah, I have never really had a birthday party as an adult. I don't think its that big of a deal. I would never dare ask for much more than drinks out with a friend or two. I don't understand the elaborate birthdays spanning entire weeks/weekends. I guess its just how I was raised. Just another day. I don't expect or want anyone to do anything for me just because I lived another year.

@Kathryn I was thinking the same thing. But then I just thought "Holy shit. I'm older than I thought and completely out of the loop." I don't think I've ever gone to a birthday party that was planned by the birthday boy/girl.

I agree with gym rat this is the norm where I'm from! Im not sitting around waiting for someone to throw me a party or birthday outing that's strange.

Then you don't have one? lol Again, I think this comes down to how you were raised.

Sorry, this seems pretty normal to me. You don't wanna pay opt not to go.

Honestly if I was invited to a birthday party I would be expecting to pay for myself if we were going out to a club and or dinner and drinks. Maybe it's my circle IDK

ETA I totally agree with Gymrat if you wait on others to do something for your birthday you may never have a birthday party

I'm gonna throw you a kickass bday party then Kathryn!! NYC style! lol ;-0

Yeah!!! GymRat- can you please arrange for me to get peed on in the subway?

Now that you'll need to pay for yourself! LMAO!!

This is common in my circle as well. I wouldn't specifically say that I've thrown my own birthday party, but I'll usually throw out a little fb event "Hey, I'll be here for my birthday, join me if you want!" If people can't afford it they don't come. But I do like celebrating my birthday with friends and family and I feel like it's a good excuse to get people together because they are more likely to come if it's for a birthday as compared to just a random Friday night. The only time I would assume a birthday party is hosted is if it were at some sort of hall or something. I would probably expect there to be food, but I'd also expect to pay for drinks.

I wouldn't attend a birthday party at a restaurant and assume the person will be paying for everyone. This seems pretty standard. It's one thing if you host a party in your house (like a BBQ) for those I usually state that I'll pay for burgers and sausages (and snacks and sides) but if anyone wants something beyond that they can bring it themselves and we'll cook it.