NWR: Birthday Party Invitation - tacky!

I've always been the one to say "Hey I wanted to see if ya'll would like to join me in a little get together to celebrate my birthday" be it a dinner or just drinks. And my friends all pay for themselves. Now if I'm saying hey I'm inviting ya'll to join me to celebrate my bday at my house or painting with a twist (Which I did for my 25th) then I'm completely responsible and paying each of my friends fees. I think there's a difference. But I guess it also depends on your circle of friends. My friends and I always treat one another for bdays and if we go out to a bar everyone buys their own drinks. Or some individuals want to treat the whole group with a round here or there.

So personally I see nothing wrong with this

I've always thrown my own bday parties and I definitely don't foot the bill for food and drinks!

She isnt "hosting" her own birthday party. I interpret this as, hey Im doing X, Y, and Z for my birthday, join me if you can. I dont see how this is an issue. Do you really expect the birthday girl or even their friend planning it to pay for your food and drinks?

In my circle it's normal for one person to send out a fb invite and say "hey ladies lets get together for my bday " for whoever can go usually it's a little pre game with dinner & drinks and some dancing later. And usually we split the bill or buy the bday person shots etc.

I think most adults do something like this unless it's a milestone birthday.

I recently went to a friend's birthday party she "hosted" in her backyard and asked all the guests to provide the food and alcohol and then she and her husband had a keg....with a "keg donation" jar. FH and I went, had waters, didn't bring any food nor did we eat any food, he had a beer from the keg and did not pitch in any "donation" and then we left. I have been wondering ever since if that was considered a rude way to "host" your own birthday party?

This is what everyone I know has done for the past forever years. FB invite, Hey guys! Come celebrate my bees at this kareoke place followed by drinks at etc.!!" no mention of who's paying because it's assumed that everyone pays their own way (and probably buys the birthday person a drink at some point).

@FMMN, this might be too much. Like, for game nights at our home we supply the games (we are the 'gamer couple" in our circle of friends) and the booze and the snacks but guests always bring cheap beer and or snacks as well. When we've been broke and mentioned it, we've said we'll supply the booze, you guys bring the snacks. last time I had people over for my birthday I cooked a 4 course meal for everyone and supplied all the alcohol and in no way expected presents or money in return. That friend should have said its byob potluck and we're getting a keg. End of story. No tip jar for the keg.

@BoozyBaker - I felt like it was over the top for sure especially when we saw that they wanted the guests to pay for the keg they bought too lol. I have never hosted any event and asked the guests to reimburse me....at least not since college ha!

I would never expect my friend to pay for me on her birthday. If anything, you chip in for the birthday person.

I wouldn't question chipping in for the birthday person, and do that frequently. And potlucks where everyone contributes something isn't abnormal. But in my circle we usually coordinate with each other to take the birthday person out. Everyone pays for themselves and help to pay for the birthday person. I guess I've just never seen anyone initiate for themselves and put it out there that bluntly. LOL...maybe I'll try that for my next birthday.

I'm finding this thread very interesting. In my adult life, I've never had a birthday party. I'm turning 30 this Sunday, and I decided I wanted to do one of those BYOB Paint things. I booked the room and made a Facebook event.. I'm planning on buying a couple bottles of wine and snacks, but my friends are buying their own canvases... I definitely was concerned about being considered tacky, but I spoke with a few friends before I pulled the trigger, and they all assured me that it's completely normal for people to pay for themselves. I would love to be able to afford to pay for all my friends to join me, but it's just not feasible.

I want to do one of those parties Bethany! Sounds fun!