NWR: Birthday Party Invitation - tacky!

That's pretty standard for birthday parties as a young adult.

Yeah I mean it should be expected to pay for yourself at a birthday party. It's one thing to "plan to go out for your birthday" but not throw yourself a party lol

I know in the wedding world, it is taboo to throw your own bridal shower or engagement party, etc. But a birthday party does not seem that uncommon or taboo to me. I'm pretty sure that most birthday parties I have ever been too have been planned by the birthday girl/or boy. I mean usually they are not extravagant parties; usually just a invite to their house, or an invite out to dinner. Heck even I have done that for some of my birthdays. Also I wouldn't really expect the birthday guy or gal to pay for me or anyone else for that matter. If i can't afford to go, I wouldn't go. I don't know, but in my experience this is actually pretty normal...

ETA: maybe I only know "tacky" people lol

Honestly I don't see too much wrong with this. If I were invited out for drinks I wouldn't expect the birthday girl to buy my drinks or food. This seems more like a night out than an actual party? So I would say it's pretty common to do.

Also - i can see it being tacky if either a) she has high expectations that people must attend, and/or b) is expecting people to pay for her as well as themselves. Outside of that though, if i felt like going to a drag show for my birthday, I'd likely invite my friends, but it would be an open (no pressure) invitation. If you come, you come, either way that's where i'll be.

I'm with Missy on this one! This is pretty normal in my experience. I would never expect the birthday girl/guy to pay for me even if they planned it. I would honestly try to pay for most of theirs if i had the cash. Weddings are a different story but birthdays is pretty much on your own for paying.

Nothing seems off about this to me. Me and my friends will probably get ready together and to go out to dinner and then go to a bar/club after. We all pay for ourselves but someone always picks up the tab of whose birthday it is/buys them drinks. Maybe I'm tacky too @Missy

Ok, well then I had no idea this was a thing! I don't think I'd ever be comfortable doing this, but maybe that's just me. You learn something new every day...

Throwing yourself a birthday party is expected. Paying for your own drinks at someone elses birthday party should also be expected.

It's weird that you think you should have your drinks paid for you every time someone invites you out?

So if your friend is like "Let's go to dinner for my birthday!" You think your meal should be paid for too?

Pretty typical at a certain age. I mean even then we would normally pay for the birthday boy/girl too and buy them drinks etc.

HAHAH Throwing yourself a bday party is expected?? in what world???

Its one thing to say hey lets all meet for drinks Friday on my birthday. I think throwing yourself a party is ridiculous and attention seeking.

But that's exactly what they are doing. Going to dinner and out for drinks. I would say that's pretty typical.

@OG Kathryn...glad it wasn't just me, I was starting to think I missed some paragraph in the etiquette book or something. I've always felt you either have no birthday party, or someone else throws it for you. Or if you want to host something yourself then you're responsible for hosting. Just weird in my opinion...

In my circle, the birthday person never pays for themselves. Everyone pays for themselves and then either someone picks up birthday persons tab or we all split it equally. It's not uncommon (where I'm at) for birthday person to throw their own "party" and by party I mean invite everyone out with them to celebrate.

I just went to an acquaintance's 50th birthday party - she threw it for herself at a brewery. We got free beer/wine, food, there was a DJ, favors, and a photobooth. She also had a food truck out front (apps I suppose - hot dogs and the other stuff I didn't see) and out back she had a Mr. Softee ice cream truck. Other than the part where she had the party was hot as balls (in the warehouse of the brewery), she hosted it pretty damn well. We even danced in that hot box. I had a great time.

@Igretl...the invitation is termed Birthday Party, not let's get together for drinks

I throw myself parties. I'm an adult I don't expect my friends to plan a party for me. My friends do the same. We also normally do something like this. It starts out at your place where it's free drinks and snacks/food followed by going to different locations (bar-hopping, dinner, club). People can leave at any point, spend what they want to.

I understand if it's a big birthday year like 30 or 50 and you want to host a catered event. But to host a party every year? No. I would never expect that of anyone.

As an adult I've pretty much always thrown my own birthday party and never paid for it by myself, even when it was ice skating a few years ago.

This sounds like going out for someone's birthday. I threw my own 25th birthday party - everyone came to our house to pre-game, then we went downtown to a bar. I certainly didn't pay for everyone's drinks at the bar.

@futuremrsbueno That's fair. It's still what you are doing though.

Also, aside from a big birthday shingdig (say, if you are turning 50 or something), I've only ever seen people throw their own parties.

It would be weirder to me if she had expected everyone else to plan it.