Not allowing dates at the head table?

I'm not sure who will be sitting with us, but splitting up couples just isn't an option. I do think it's rude. I can survive not sitting with FH for an hour, but I prefer not to, and that's an easy preference to accommodate. Our venue is configured such that we'll be at a sweetheart table with 2 tables of 3 on each side. None of my BMs is bringing a date, so they'll likely be up there, but all of the GM will have SOs there, so not sure who we're going to seat where.

Honestly I feel like adults can stand to be separated for dinner. After dinner people move around and mingle. FH was in two weddings, there was a head table, I sat among the other guests. I am a big girl and capable of being away from him for a couple hours. After dinner/speeches we spent the rest of the night together.

My FH was a groomsmen at his friends wedding and I was his plus one. They had their head table and all BM and GM sat with the Bride and Groom. I didn't know anyone at the wedding and I literally sat by myself at an empty table in a corner of the room. I personally thought it was really rude. For our wedding we are having the BP sit with their SO in a table near us.

Why don't people get that of course everyone can survive, but it's still a dick move?

I think they will build a bridge and get over it. lol. I was MOH in my best friends wedding and I sat at the head table while my fiance sat the table with all the bridesmaids dates. Would it have been cool to sit together yes. was it the end of the world because i knew thats what the bride wanted no. At first i wanted a head table for my wedding then I started thinking sweetheart for this reason (even though im not a fan). My fiance told me he does not like sweetheart tables either so we are back to the head table. The dates will be sitting at the table close to the head table. As my fiance put it, after eating everyone will be up socializing and dancing so its not like they have to sit there all night. Do what you want! Apart of being a bridesmaid is not complaining but making everything easier for the bride. As a former MOH I wasn't completely fond of the headtable idea but I knew thats what the couple wanted so I shutup and smiled and they had a great wedding day!

I've never been to a wedding where the dates sat at the table, honestly.

However, it is my plan to do so. I have 4 girls and potentially 6 guys with 3 "dates" not in the bp. So with the s/os it'd be the size of a large bp, but we will see.

And also, I've never been to a wedding with a sweetheart table.

Nicole, where do you live? I've literally only seen head tables in 80s movies or for those NJ weddings.

OK so I didn't read through all the comments, but I also have a BP of 6 girls/6 guys and we are doing the kings table option sort of. I am setting up 2 rectangle tables together and we will all sit w spouses there. The tables will be next to each other but not pushed together all the way so that people can be seated on the ends if that makes sense. It just worked out for us and how many other tables we needed for guests and FH didn't want to do a straight up bead table or sweetheart table.

@Emily Then its a great opportunity to have a conversation with someone new.

When I've been a bridesmaid, the last thing I would complain about is where the bride wants me to sit at dinner. Who cares. It's not the ideal situation, but at the end of the day, is it really a big deal? OP, do you. This is not something that you need to bend on IMO.

This is the craziest thread to me. Don't get me wrong, being a date when someone is in a bridal party kinda sucks for an hour but here, it's totally expected that you eat separately from your date.

It so weird being on the other side of the majority!

I'm in Michigan, and have never seen anything but a head table.

Bethie, I agree with you. This is how I have always seen it done. Sweetheart tables are new to me within the last 2 years and I am not personally a fan of them. And honestly I don't want a kings table cause I don't like the girlfriends of a few of the GM's so I don't want them by me haha......

So whats the point though? Is it really so that everyone can watch you eat? I just don't get it.

Why should I get to sit and enjoy the company of my SO while separating my closest friends and family from theirs?

My bridal party will be sitting with their SOs

M, I am SO on your side, believe me, but what's really the point of them standing up with you at the ceremony either? Same argument, IMO.

We have 6 groomsman and 5 bridesmaids. We are doing a sweetheart table flanked with two square ten person tables on each side. We are allowing the dates to sit with the bridal party. I wanted to make everyone comfortable, I don't really care how it looks. I doubt I'll be reminiscing about how the tables looked in pictures, but the experiences I shared with all of these wonderful people.

I have also never been to a wedding without a head table (I have never even been to one with a sweetheart table!). I am in Ohio so maybe Bethie is right.

M - I think the point is the same as having them stand up next to you during the ceremony. You are honoring them.

Personally, we are doing a big kings table with just the BP. We have 7 on each side (14 total) and that includes 3 married couples. So we have 4 on each side whose SO is not in the wedding. Two of those are my brother in laws who will sit together with their kids. 2 aren't bringing a date and the dates of the remaining 4 will sit with people they know, at the table right next to ours. I don't think it's rude at all. FH is in a wedding in Sept that I am not in and I fully expect to be at a table with the rest of our friends, not him.

I agree with whoever said that they felt out of place at the head table when they weren't in the BP. I would feel the same.

I will be doing a sweetheart table and the BP at two tables beside us. I was at a wedding where my FH was in the BP and I wasn't and I ended up sitting all alone the whole night at a table where few people talked to me. I am pretty shy sometimes too so it would have been nice to be with FH who knew most of the people at the wedding.

So we have 7 BMs and 5 GMs I hate sweet heart tables so we are doing a big kings table. That way everyone gets to stay with their dates, we can actually talk to our bridal party, and its not an awkward eating display.

I've only seen bridal party at a head table. Any time there's a wedding and an un-married family member is in the briday party and has their significant other at the wedding all involved know they won't be sitting together. They dance together and end up together later in the night, but they don't initially sit together. We've put them with our parents, if they know eachother.