Not allowing dates at the head table?

I think it works out fine to have the dates at the head table if you have a smaller bridal party but with a larger bridal party it's just too much. I would suggest doing a sweetheart table and having your BP and dates seated at a table close by. I think it's a nice gesture for the dates of the BP who might not know anyone and feel a bit uncomfortable.

I've never seen a head table that has significant others who are not in the bridal party sit at it. Its traditional for just the bridal party to sit there. I placed the SO's of the bridal party at one table just off to the side of the head table. Since the bridal party gets served first, they'll be done eating by the time everyone else is eating. Dinner is 45 minutes. Adults can survive on their own that long I suspect. As soon as dinner is over, the bridal party gets up to socialize anyways.

Most people here will tell you that it is considered rude not to let the BP sit with their dates. Since you have a large bridal party, you might do a sweetheart table then two or three tables of the BP and their dates.

That being said, we are doing a head table with dates seated elsewhere (together). This is the ONE thing that we're doing at the wedding that some people might consider rude. Our bridal party is too big for a king's table (BP plus dates), and my FH completely shot down a sweetheart table. I think we'd both feel very "on display." We did discuss this with my MOHs and his BMs, and they thought it was ridiculous for us to be worried about it. They were like, "Um, our dates can eat dinner without us for an hour." So, we're doing it. I have honestly never been to a wedding where I got to sit with FH when he was party of the bridal party. I just expect to make small talk and new friends at my table while FH sits at the head table, and then we get together afterward.

I don't necessarily think you're being a bridezilla, but I do know that it isn't out of the ordinary for people to think a head table is rude.

I have a large BP too and originally imagined all of us sitting together. I chose a sweetheart table b/c our room is little and a big long table for 18 people looked awkward.

However, I agree with you. I think it would be weird having dates at the head table. I am of the opinion that we are adults and can survive a dinner w/o my SO sitting next to me. As long as you thoughtfully seat them with people they know or can easily converse with, I see no problem with doing it your way.

Why are you worrying about this shit a year in advance?

A lot of people on here put the dates separate from the bridal and they have their reasons. I don't judge that decision but my honest opinion is that it's rude. Everyone wants to sit with their date/husband/wife/SO even if they don't tell you that. Don't you want your bridal party to have as much fun at your wedding as you do. They want to sit with their date.

If you don't sit them with their date, they are going to get up and go hang out with their date anyway and then you just have an empty chair.

We are running into this issue as well; our bridal party and dates comes to 15 people, 17 with us, and we're only having 70-80 guests. That's like a quarter of the guest list at one table. It would be awkward to make dates sit elsewhere, so I'm pushing for a sweetheart table.

The way I see it is that your bridal party has spent the whole day with you, taking pictures and getting ready and being in the ceremony. By the time dinner rolls around, it's nice for them to be able to relax and spend time with their friends and dates rather than sitting on display with the bride and groom.

This is totally normal. It's a little awkward for the dates if they don't know many people, but after dinner everyone is dancing and having fun anyway.

This is the exact reason I did a sweetheart table. I want everybody to be able to sit with the people they came with and just be comfortable and have a good time

This is why sweetheart tables are approximately a gazillion times better than head tables in most situations. I've always found it odd to look at a wedding party seated at a head table without their families/SOs/dates like they're some sort of royalty. Just let them sit with who they would want to sit with.

No, it is not rude. Their significant others will survive dinner with "strangers". Who knows they might even make friends. I think it would be weird to have significant others at the head table with the bridal party.

We didn't have SOs sit with the BP. Sorry, but we couldn't accommodate it at our table. There were only 3 members of our BP that didn't sit with their SOs and they were family. We sat them appropriately and no one cared honestly.

I didn't sit at the head table with my husband when he was in wedding parties. IDK why someone would think they should be able to have a date at the table. for that matter, if you're in a wedding party IDK why you would even bring a date. doesn't seem attendant would be available to give much attention to the date.

We're doing a king's table to avoid this problem, but we have a much smaller WP.

Why not do a sweetheart table for you and your FH, and then your bridal party can sit at separate tables with their dates?

If I had to go to a wedding of one of FH's friends, and he was in the bridal party sitting at the head table, I'd feel super uncomfortable and lonely sitting by myself with a bunch of strangers.

Ugh FH and I are having this argument. I want a king's table so that the SO's can sit with the BP, but he wants a head table with just the BP (HE thinks it is rude for some people to have their backs to the room, and our BP is also 6 per side). Both of us hate sweetheart tables and want to sit with the BP. I think I'm going to capitulate (especially since both of our families agree with him), and just put the BP's dates either all together at the table beside ours or at tables where they have other friends they know.

I don't think any of the options is "rude" per se and I agree with FutureMrsMorales - everyone can survive a dinner without their spouse. FH was BM at a wedding last summer where I knew NO ONE but the bride and groom, and I was just fine sitting at another table.

ETA - Agree with Lauren - why ARE you worrying about this now? I am just barely starting to think about this lol.

I avgree with Lauren that you have bigger fish to fry now, when your wedding isnt until next October. But, I have a married couple, my best friend, and fhs brother as our wedding party. The last two are married too, but only the wedding party and us will be at the head table.

@StitchingBride--- You wouldn't bring your husband to a wedding because you were in the bridal party? I don't agree with that at all!

@stitchingbride that really doesn't make any sense. You are only busy when you are in the BP until after dinner and then you can go hangout with your SO. I've attended a few weddings with my FH when we were in the BP (but not at the same time) and we spent plenty of time with each other at the wedding having fun.

I'm not a fan of splitting up dates and I do think it's rude. Would I tell the bride that? Of course not because I'd like to think I'm a halfway decent person. We are doing a sweetheart table and all of our BP will sit with their dates. And no, it's not "just dinner" that their dates are solo, the ceremony, pictures, etc.