No kids, casual dress, no heels and cash bar...

You just said your friends would take advantage. That's not an assumption. That's VERBATIM from what you have told us.

I'm sure if your friends heard that they wouldn't feel as close.

It wouldnt offend them because i habe straight up told them that and they understand! My friends arent asshole they are pretty understanding about everything

As a bartender who works weddings, this justification people make to not host because "people get wasted" is so ridiculous! You know who gets wasted and sloppy the most? Guests at dry weddings! You know why @M?? Because they bring their own alcohol, take shots out by their car all night, and get drunk. When you have a responsible, professional bartender controlling the amount people get, no sloppy guests. Stop using that as an excuse and just accept you are hosting badly.

Childish much? Blah blah? Really.

Grow up hunny.

M, etiquette isn't a matter of opinion. By not providing alcohol, you're being a shitty hostess.

Seriously who makes up these rules? Where is it written besides here? Link me please because the logic doesn't follow that if a dry reception doesn't break any rule of etiquette, and most people prefer to drink, that a cash bar is the better choice than none at all.

"When every envelope that previously had cash in it is suspiciously light, you can learn an important lesson; even if no one complains to your face? No one wants to pay for their drinks."

This is hysterical! People withholding gifts because they don't get to drink for free. Do people really do this and think this way? I thought we weren't supposed to be preoccupied with gifts and to just be grateful for what people do give?

I'm not making fun but this is all so funny to me!

It's not about receiving. You are giving back to guests for attending your ceremony.

That's the point that is being missed.

Any party I have ever attended or thrown has had 2 things.

Good food

Flowing alcohol

No one will ever tell you that your a crap host to your face.

You better bet the last two cash bar and one dry wedding I went to got way out of hand.

People will drink. It's up to you to ensure that they are provided a bartender to keep things safe and controlled.

Is this seriously still going on? I thought after she called me the "r" word this woman would stop talking. Some people don't know when to stop. Holy cow.

Obviously you don't either lol

No kids? I'm there!

Casual dress? I'm there!

No heels? I'm there!

Cash bar? Oh look at that, something just came up.

Well, I think M has hit every bogus excuse I've ever mentioned to justify a dry or cash bar wedding. Congratulations.

Top Ten Bogus Reasons People Use to Justify Dry Weddings and Cash Bars

10. None of my guests drink. Not one. I've polled them all and not one of them does

9. All of my guests drink too much; they will get sloppy, drunk and violent.

8. Kids will be in attendance

7. We're really really Christian, and our hyper Christianity requires us to not only not drink but to inflict our believe that this is HOLY by making our guests not drink.

6. We don't like the taste of alcohol. So no one else should either

5. We are not going to pay for other people to enjoy themselves

4. My grandparents don't drink and they won't come

3. We have to hire bartenders, security, armed forces and the national guard to serve alcohol.

2. People can have fun without alcohol. If they really loved us, they'd come regardless

1. We're cheap.

Oh look the kids excuse. Yeah, we have alcohol at my kid's birthday parties for the adults (because we're parents, we need to drink), so that excuse doesn't jibe. Kids can be around adults who drink responsibly when you hire a bloody bartender. When you opt for a a cash bar, it tells your guests, you don't care about hosting them properly and trust me, they will talk behind your back.

As a guest, I probably wouldn't show up. Can't take my kids or wear my heels, and I gotta pay for my drink!

Every wedding I've ever been to, aside from one, has been a cash bar. I think in some areas that is just expected. And I've never judged or heard anyone else judge a couple for having a cash bar. I've never actually thought twice about it until I joined WW. We are going to host a beer and wine bar, though. We just cut our guest list because we decided this was what we wanted to do. I wouldn't honestly worry too much about what the people on WW have to say. I find useful advice on here and appreciate the passion some have for etiquette and such, but I don't put too much stock in how dramatic things get on here.

As for actual advice- I'd do a quick website with the info and a card in the invite with the website. It would be hard to say no heels. That one is tricky. The flip flops might be your best bet.

NO CASH BAR!!!!!

The day is about you guys not your guest. So picking a venue that doesn't allow heels isn't wrong it's the place where you guys want to be in would maybe just provide those plastic heel protection or cheap flip flops for during the ceremony and then they can put their heels back on. Cash bar is always an issue with people on this sight but I get it. I won't be having one but times are changing the wedding norms. No kiddos is acceptable I'd just get a wedding website and add the Url to them!

This is still going on?

....hold on while I get some popcorn...

Maybe put a little note about the no heels due to the location. But as for cash bar I wouldn't mention anything and I don't think it's tacky at all. Where I'm from that's what is normal. We do a keg before dinner but anything else is on the guest and it's a cash bar. Cash bars a normal from where I'm at. Very unusual for a open bar. So spendy. I'd assume that if guests want drinks they would bring money with them. Who goes anywhere with out money and possibly a good chance that there is a atm at ur facility.

I will say that my FSIL went to a wedding recently with her boyfriend and I heard that it was a dry wedding and that they basically had a bar out in their that they would go to to get drinks. So having a dry wedding will not stop someone from drinking that wants to drink. If people want to drink or get sloppy they are going to do it regardless. My cousin's wedding was dry, potluck and they ran out of water/lemonade and MOG had to go out and get more. the wedding was awful. I very rarely drink and would have had a few drinks at that wedding if I had them in the car because it was awful.