Negotiating with vendors- who has done it, and how did you do it?

Wow that's awesome you got them to match the competetor's price! I know a lot of times you just have to ask but I usually don't have the guts to ask. I'm always more worried about insulting someone by even asking but I know I probably shouldn't be.

I haven't tried to get price matching. The closest we came to negotiations was with the photographer. We didn't really want/need several of the items in his package, and just asked him what kind of price he could give us on the items we did want.

Not everyone can price match, so keep that in mind...for example, I can't price match someone shooting 8 hours for $500...just can't do it...I would be working at a loss by the time I paid my assistant and 2nd shooter, plus gas.

However, if you can tell us a budget and ask us what you can get for that budget, then we can realistically tell you what we can provide for that, and don't mind doing it. Of course, if you happen to drive off in a Mercedes afterwards, it leaves a really bad taste in our mouth (& yes, it has actually happened to me...told me they were broke, had no money, paying for it themselves...and then they EACH drove off in a Mercedes).

Most vendors will try to work with you if you are honest & upfront about your budget. And if we can't, we'll let you know, and possibly steer you to someone who can.

My FH has to do the negotiating because it makes me really uncomfortable. That said, he was somehow able to negotiate our venue down from nearly $8k to under $6k WITH $1k on the bar...nearly a $3k savings! He got the photographers to round out their quote to an even $1800 from $2150 plus tax. We didn't negotiate with our DJ, probably because I was there and also because I think he's charging us fairly.

I wish I had this skill, but I also feel like I'll insult someone. At no time did FH seem to offend anyone. In fact, they all seem super eager to work with us. The key is to ask tactfully and barter. We picked an excellent group of vendors to begin with, so I think that helped.

Stephanie thank you for chiming in! It makes total sense that not everyone can price match, especially people who have their own small business. And I would be ticked too if I felt someone was trying to manipulate me, so thank you for bringing that up.

Just to be clear, I wasn't trying to start a "how to screw your vendors" thread. I just know that when I was starting to plan, there were some vendors (mostly small business owners) who seemed totally out of my reach price-wise, so I just crossed them off the list without ever speaking with them. Mostly b/c like Katie said, I wouldn't want to insult a professional whose business/art/overhead I don't fully understand. Now I wonder if we might have made something work that was mutually beneficial, if only I had thought about what to ask. Example- removing a service, switching dates of service, doing something in trade, etc.

Thanks for contributing! Interested to hear others' stories.

This is a great thread and I also agree that we all need a little confidence boost in order to be able to just ask. I know when I get venue prices back it just feels so "this is the price, period". I am planning a smaller wedding (60) and having a very hard time finding a venue that will lower the food and beverage minimums to accommodate a smaller party. I have asked, and mostly get the response that they can only offer it on a Sunday. This leaves me a bit stuck in choosing a venue at the moment. Will be interesting to see others post on here.

Every vendor is different, even within the same category. But if you do negotiate, here's some things to start with:

1. If they're willing to, you'd better be willing to sign up with money in hand that day.

2. If they make a counter offer and you don't accept it, remember, it's just business.

3. NEVER say "but we're paying for this ourselves."

4. If they won't/can't negotiate, thank them for their time and move along. Don't waste time (yours or theirs) arguing.

5. If you're spending a lot with a vendor, there MIGHT be more room to move. But don't waste time negotiating on their cheapest package.

I have found excellent rates on everything so far just out of luck, but the venue did knock off prices for me and threw in 3 extra things that other places charge for, simply because we came with deposit in hand. That worked wonders!

But, one hair/makeup company wants more than twice what other quotes have been, so I was considering showing them the other quotes and seeing what happens. However, I do like also supporting people who work for themselves, because I FEEL they are more motivated to do the best they can, even if it might cost me a little more. So far, it hasn't hindered my budget

Len, you are right on the mark w/ everything. I've sat on both sides of the negotiating table and #1 is crucial. If the vendor/supplier agrees, you SIGN right there. Do NOT go home and chew your cud on the deal.

Another thing I've learned over the years is Cash (or check) is KING. Paying by Credit Card or Paypal costs the Vendor 3-7% depending on the type of CC. So depending on the Vendor/Service/Item I will often pay Cash and negotiate a discount based on the CC fees. I've also negotiated the tax out of services by paying cash. Here in PA it's 6% so I'll ask the vendor if I pay cash will you take care of the tax and give me a 5% discount for not using my CC? You'd be surprised what you can get when you start counting 100 dollar bills on someone's desk. Just be sure to get a legitimate receipt.

Good points everyone!

We are currently looking into photographers & Djs and if they are too far out of the price range w passed on their info. My FH has a friend on FB who he knew when he was younger does a amazing job shoots mostly models but has offered to do our wedding. His starting price is more than half what we are looking to pay. He has since informed FH that he is willing to discuss prices but Id hate to price him so low.

I have to message him back today and Im still not sure how Im gonna word it.

I'm not a negotiator. It just makes me uncomfortable personally so while I look around for good deals (while still keeping quality in mind), I'm not the type of person to ask for additional discounts or haggle. It's just not me. The closest I have come to negotiating was getting 400 dollars off the sticker price of my wedding dress. Even that wasn't much of negotiating though. I simple told my consultant that I loved the dress but not the price. It wasn't necessarily out of my budget however my runner up dress was much cheaper than the dress I loved most. She told me not to worry and that she would talk to the owner of the store. On their own, they brought it down to a price that I was much more comfortable with.

To tell or not tell the budget can go two ways, and I understand that. I understand the thought that if you give your budget, you may have given away your hand and possibly gotten what you wanted for less. On the other hand, if I send out my pricing, then you know what my pricing structure is. If you come back to me and say my budget is XYZ, what can I get, then I can try to tailor a package for that budget (if possible) and then you can decide if you want it. I know that a florist needs to know your budget...they might can create the look you want using different flowers to help stay within your budget. Without a budget, it is difficult for them to know which flowers to use or to advise you on the best choice to maximize your budget. Just a thought to keep in mind.

I agree with CrystalS. I have a friend who is a professional rock concert photographer and she is amazing but she absolutely refused my wedding because she said it's WAY different.

There's a million and one negotiating strategies that can be used - but they are all based on being an educated consumer by understanding the going rate for the service/item and being fully prepared to sign on the dotted line when the agreement is met regardless of the type of car we drive LOL

There's been times where I have fully disclosed the budget (when I'm dealing w/ a vendor who I believe is just out of my reach) and times where I knew it would not be in my best interest do to such - where my budget allows for more than I feel is a reasonable going rate.

OK after reading what I wrote I meant to say he is more then double our budget. I have seen wedding pictures he has taken and they are just as amazing as his models. I just emailed him and told him about what we are looking for and our budget and hes still interested! at the sametime another photographer who is still very talented got back to me quoting me like $200 less for the same package. so we deff have to meet both of them to decide.

As with everything in life, if you're in the right place at the right time, you might see some "movement" by your vendor. If you ask for a June 20th wedding discount, you're not going to get many "deals"... but January 20th, will be easier for a vendor who may not be normally working.

Another approach for the bride, is to do your homework first. If you know about photography for example, you'll discover that a 2nd shooter, editing (many use Photoshop) costs a LOT of money. A "TRUE" professional has many more expenses than the amateur on craigslist, and won't be as easy to get a deal from.

If I was approached by a bride who wanted my "BIG" package, I'd be more inclined to upgrade certain items, or add more lights, for example. On my cheapest package, I simply won't "deal"... it's at my bottom price from the get-go. In fact, I'm thinking of dropping that package all together, because I don't make enough to pay my bills on that package. -continued-

By knowing approximately what your wishes are actually costing the vendor, you will have a better handle on knowing what to pay. Just like an automatic transmission will cost you more at the car dealership than a standard.

If you want 4 concert speakers, rather than two home stereo speakers, that will cost more. High quality, 16 million color uplight fixtures cost more than incandescent spotlights with only one color. You should know this when bargaining with your vendor. Knowing basic information about how the job is actually done, will give you a better tool to know when a vendor will give you a break.

I did negotiate my photography.. I don't know if it's because I'm a great negotiator (I'm assuming not) or that my photographer is just awesome, but I was able to get much more from her than I would have with another photographer we were looking at and she is charging me much less than the other was asking. We did kind of the same as you.. just let her know that we loved her work, except that her package didn't inlude as much coverage time as the other photographer.. so she threw in an extra hour and another photographer at no additional cost. We did refuse the album though.. so I think that made the difference.

Great tips! thanks

I'm not comfortable negotiating, but I've learned to ask about specials / promos / discounts. I saved a couple hundred dollars on a vendor simply because I asked.

someone once told me, "everything is negotiable"

Yeah these are definitely great tips!!! I'm definitely not the best negotiator either....FH negotiated a bit with our photographer but then again it's his friend so it worked out.....most of time I just never want to insult the person so I don't even try but I will sit there and be like "oh man I really love this place" or I'll just sit there and be like "ummm..." and then to try to win my business they lower the price that's what happened with our venue and our DJ