Negative stigma around wedding date

I wanted to get married on September 11th too as it was my grandmother's birthday but I get how it's such a sad day even though she was born 59 years before it.

ETA: So we picked the 16th. Same week

I would worry less about the date and more about graduating college. If you and FH are still together when you graduate, then you can pick a date.

If OP lives in NYC/NJ, maybe I would consider taking the date into consideration. Otherwise, nope, celebrate away.

365 days of the year- and all I would wonder is - why the fuck did you chose that one.

JoRocka, it's sort of a moot point, because someone who is 18 is very unlikely to be with the same person in three years. However, if you want a fall Saturday wedding, you have the choice of about 8 days. Obviously, with so much time before 2020, they can pick another date, but I don't blame anyone who ends up with that date.

OP - I know you changed your mind but the general consensus from people that have worked in the Pentagon and lost people we knew that day is to have it. Celebrate their lives by living yours. All but 1 said they would RSVP yes.

A.L- I agree- she's very young and it's not likely- and it seems she's changed her mind. Which given life circumstances- is very good.

But I'm still going to wonder why you picked THAT date. I don't care how many few other fall dates here are- I'm still going to wonder.

Op explained that it has significance to her outside of something that happened when she was two.

Wouldnt do it. there is so many other dates and for the rest of your lives this will be your anniversary day I would find it hard to celebrating happiness on such a dark day.

Also worry about graduating college first.. your 18.. marriage comes later I think this was proposal was very pre-mature

OP, you're so young! There's no rush to get married! The women here aren't trying to be condescending... some of us learned the hard way that most of us weren't really mature enough to choose a life partner at 18. It's nice that you're already planning to wait until after college. Just keep waiting...

I'm from NYC, so I can't imagine it being considered a celebratory date for anything. Like others have suggested, I would recommend clearly explaining why you chose this date to your guests in your STD/Save the Date

Hey guys it's me again. I'm 19 just to make that small correction. While I appreciate everyone's input I think it's a little rude to say my FH and I won't be together in three years. We got engaged for a reason: he's the love of my life and that's not changing. People meet "the one" at different ages. The feelings I have for him are no different than the feelings a 27 year old would have for their FH.

Op, have you discussed the date with family members? What is their take on it? Because, you don't remember the attack. You were a baby. So you really can't have a true grasp on what other people who did go through it might feel. Please speak with older friends and family members before making a decision. I was born and raised in NY, I was 15 when it happened, I did not personally lose any friends or family in the attack but I have a knot in my stomach just reading this thread and remembering.

Honestly, I don't really think her age is anyone's business. She didn't ask for advice on being a young bride or waiting. She simply asked about her wedding date being an issue.

OP, if you trust that he's the one, you're an adult and you're old enough to make that decision.

Young marriages are a touchy subject for me. My mother, and most ladies in my family, got married at 18 and 19 and have the happiest marriages I've ever seen. They're happier than couples who waited until they were 30.

Thank you milinovemberbride! I really appreciate that!

If you have friends or family that lost some one that day, no. But to me making that day about love is the best way to defeat terrorism. We go on. I would maybe have a moment of silence, maybe play God Bless America to honor those that died that day.

@OP, I haven't previously commented on your age, but I will say one thing in response to your latest comment:

You abso-fucking-lutely will feel differently for FH at 27 than you did at 19. You'll be different in a shit ton of ways. Hell, I wouldn't recognize 19 year old me's decisions and choices (some of which were frankly asinine).

I was reintroduced to my FH at 22. Our relationship has changed SO MUCH it's indescribable from then until now (27).

I will offer these piece of perhaps unsolicited but relevant advice: THESE ARE THE YEARS. These are the years you find and become yourself. These are the years that you develop into the adult you wish to become. These are the years for questions, mistakes, do-overs and re-dos.

I don't say this to discourage you from marrying your soul mate. I truly truly hope you find that in someone and share your lives together.

I say this because if I had married the person I thought I loved at 19, I would have a very different life than I ever imagined for myself. And I would not be happy. I did stupid shit at 19 (who doesn't). I was a brat. I had a chip on my shoulder. I thought I was invincible.

Guess what? I was very wrong. But I did not realize it until I'm looking back, at age 25 or 26, and I was disgusted. Stupid, immature, poorly thought out and poorly planned. I may have been 19, but I was a kid.

Hell, at 22 I still didn't have it figured out all the way. I'm 27 now, I laugh when people refer to me as an adult and I'm hard pressed to figure out when the hell I became an adult.

Just wait a few years; if it's meant to be, FH isn't going anywhere, and it will be worth the wait.

Just my $.02 towards the dollar.

You have plenty of time to think about this. Personally, my birthday is 9/11 and I always try to make it a positive day, not just because it's my birthday but because people need pick-me-ups on that day. I would be happy to celebrate on that day, because it's my annual mission to turn my birthday into a happy day for once, but many others may not. Many people are still in mourning. As far as how it could affect your future, and this may seem insignificant, but just know that whenever someone finds out my birthday, they say "I'm sorry." Do you want to be met with an "I'm sorry" every time you reveal your anniversary date?

We went to a wedding last year on September 11. No one batted an eye, and we are near NYC too. Go for it. September 11 was a date on a calendar before the attack happened.

If that's what you want than do it...there has been so many good things that happened after 9/11...let your wedding be another on