Negative stigma around wedding date

I personally would pass but it's a personal decision. If you are asking you are obviously struggling with this and i would pass!

I'm a New Yorker. FH's work office overlooks the WTC memorial.

I think it's fine. I would go to a wedding on September 11th.

Thank you for all the advice! For those that are curious we have a three year engagement because we are still in college and we are waiting till we graduate. Going along with that, yes I was pretty young when 9/11 happened, only two years old, so I don't remember it. Seeing all these opinions I will probably be going with a different day, hopefully still in September since it's such a beautiful month. I like the idea of choosing the day we met but that was early July which is just too hot in my opinion. Thank you all for your input!

That sounds like a super depressing day to have your anniversary. I wouldn't do it.

So, you're 18, OP?

OK, well, if you are 18, that's a different story. Literally your entire brain is going to change for the next seven years. It's unlikely you'll be with the same person three years from now.

I wouldn't do it....it hasn't been that long and for those of us who watched it happen before our eyes it is still very raw.

Gosh that's tough. I see both sides. I love near ny and I probably wouldn't because I would worry it would hit too close to home.

I agree with the PP above. I'd pass. I had family in New York. I joined because of that event.

I'm glad you are considering a different day. You could have stuck with it, and It's a free country. Yes we have to move on, but I feel that out of respect for the lives lost, the day should be remembered for the events that occured.

I don't think a wedding on 9/11 is completely taboo, but there's definitely some stigma. I think it's worse depending on the location, particularly if you are near New York.

9/11 fell on a Saturday a few years back and even though it was during peak wedding season, a lot of couples chose to avoid that date out of respect. Here is an article I found on Google; http://archive.northjersey.com/story-archives/solemn-date-for-solemn-vows-1.934796?page=all

My advice is to get married on a Saturday or Sunday after 9/11 that is still during your musical's run. That way it maintains the personal connection with how you met. During the wedding or in your programs, you can talk about the significance of the date and the musical in your relationship.

I would never do this. FH is a veteran who had to go to war for our country after 9/11. So are many members of our families and many of our guests.

Many of our guests are also first responders and law enforcement who lost loved ones that day.

You don't know every guest's personal feelings about that day and how it may have affected them, their lives and their loved ones.

But you do know that 99% of people at your wedding will remember the date September 11th as a horrible day in our nation's history, and not has a happy, joyful day. A wedding will not change that.

Hard no. IMO, and it may be unpopular, but absolutely not-- it's insensitive.

I don't see the big deal. By the time your wedding comes around it will have been nearly 20 years since that day. Not being insensitive, but unless guests were directly impacted by that day, I don't think it's weird.

@24k how would you know how/to what degree each of your guests were impacted?

You can't know that unless you know every aspect of each guest and their SO's lives. Unless you're having a very very small wedding this is not feasible.

There's literally no reason not to have your wedding on that day. Plenty of people do every year, and three years into the future is even further.

Here's a bit of trivia: Actor John Ritter died on 9/11, his daughter was born on 9/11, also being 9/11, I feel horrible for his little girl growing up with that date for her birthday. Too much death. That being said, 9/11 will most likely also be considered a death day and horrible day in our society. I wouldn't share anything special on a known day for tragedy.

OP you're 18? Wait to get married for another 7 years.

If you're dead set on getting married in 3 years, pick a different date.

An interesting read:

http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2092455,00.html

That's my birthday!

I wouldn't, but I have lived in the NYC suburbs my entire life. I remember 9/11 very clearly, so I wouldn't want the association. I would also wait at least 5-6 years to get married though..

It's true that we can't stop living and enjoying our lives just because something tragic happens. That being said, I was born and raised in northern NJ / NYC suburbs, lived there for over 20 years. That is a difficult day for millions, but for many, it is personally difficult. I have friends and former co-workers who need to take that day off to attend memorials or to visit cemeteries. I think it's too soon and you should pick another date.

ETA: it's also the anniversary of DH's mother passing (not the same year as the attacks). When we go to the cemetery in north jersey, we see *a lot* of other people there. It's not a coincidence.