My sister refuses to wear Proper Wedding Attire

Wow, wow, wow. I believe Faith is an actual bride, even if this post and the "how many guests?" threads sound like they originated with a troll.

Faith wrote: "Many friends & family have agreed to help us by doing special little duties on our wedding day in lieu of gifts." How in the name of decency did you approach anyone on your guest list (more on that in a minute) with, "If you agree to do special little duties at our wedding, you don't have to give us a gift."? You said they "agreed" to this arrangement, which means YOU initiated the discussion. Strike one. You don't get to bring up gifts with your wedding guests. A majority of guests will bring them, but you, as the bride, showed far more tackiness than your scantily clad sister could because your brought up this barter arrangement with your guests. Oh, wake-up call -- nobody is "just waiting" to find out if they get to come to your wedding.

Leave the woman alone. She doesn't need to hand out anything. In fact, leave all of your guests alone. Pay for your own help.

Now, your other post -- the one about your guest list -- is atrocious. Seriously, how dare you? You wrote: "No reply by a certain date & we will be inviting others that are on a waiting list to come in their place...these are people that would be coming to just the reception after dinner only or just to the ceremony, knowing that we have limited seating for dinner...I have talked to a lot of them, they are just waiting for a cancellation or no show so they can be there to fill the seat & share our special day...There are many people who do not RSVP, I just delete them from the list... EVERYONE that will have a seat will have a placecard...no placecard, no seat for dinner....no exceptions....if they can't be considerate enough to respond, I am not paying for their meal..."

You think way too highly of yourself and your wedding. The media will not be there to cover your wedding, so get a grip. If you mean what you wrote, you actually have understudies ready to play the part of your lower tier guests who are only invited to the ceremony, but who fail to respond to your RUDE, OBNOXIOUS invitation on time. Are you for real? Then we have the other understudies -- the props who managed to snag higher rated understudy parts at your show/wedding; they'll be invited to replace the late responders who were "lucky" enough to fall into the reception only category. Do you hear yourself?

Now, let's look at what YOU wrote about your sister, someone you describe with such derision that I think you're trying to convince us she has a pimp. You are lying to us, your sister, and yourself if you actually wrote these contradicting statements:

1. I am meeting with her tomorrow & will be TELLING her, not asking nicely anymore, that if she does want to be a part of it, that I will need to see her dress....if she doesn't want me to see it, then I will not have her be a part of it...

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. "A few years ago she showed up at one of my Christmas parties dressed like a hooker....skirt up to her crotch, cut too low in front & 4 inch spiked boots..."

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. "At my 1st wedding her dress was an old filthy rag that was too tight & too short...I don't want her to embarrass me again..."

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. "Some family agree with me....they don't want her there either....it is VERY distracting & disgusting.

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. "If she can't join in the clean fun with the rest of them, she doesn't belong there...

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. "Being "Kinky" just does not have a place at our wedding...

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

1. " They would not appreciate her attire either. I sure don't want them to look at us cross-eyed about who we associate with..."

2. "...don't get me wrong, I love my sister..."

So, this is the claptrap that defines love in your wonderful religious community? You want to decorate a secular courthouse to mimic a church because it's so important that everything look sacred and holy. What was His overall message, Faith? Somehow, I don't remember Him having much sympathy for the outwardly righteous but inwardly judgmental, if not hateful.

You blow my mind. Oh, and as for Stitching Bride's question -- if this bride wasn't so ready to grind her sister into the ground should any idiot bring up her sister's clothing, I'd say that a normal sister's reaction would be to raise her eyebrows, and say, "That's my sister. I love her. I'd thank you to keep your opinions to yourself, and if you can't, why the hell are you bothering me on my wedding day about a dress code you believe I should have implemented? There are plenty of people who have lost their sisters. I'm just glad she's here".

And let me guess...this thread will now disappear...

We have a white knight in the house

Laura, since this is your first comment. I'll be gentle. Although a wedding is a very exciting thing and something people look forward to and look back on fondly, it is in no way permission for the bride or groom to treat others disrespectfully.

This is absolutely different than asking those to adhere to the formality of an event and dress accordingly. THIS is disrespecting a sibling and similar family members by forcing them to dress in a uniform that is determined by the bride but, funded by others. Selfish.

A wedding is a one day celebration. Not a full out opportunity to behave like an asshat.

ETA: words

Wait. So this lady is having a reception somewhere with a fast food counter where everyone is paying for their own food yet there will be place cards and if they don't respond, they don't get dinner.... That they'd have to pay for themselves anyway?.... Makes sense.

Troll or just clearly detached from reality. Eek.

Would it count as "counter ordering" if you had to tell the cashier how many adults and children will be eating with you at Home Town Buffet?

@CK - Wow! Yea, gotta be a troll. Nobody asks someone to marry them over the phone and the counter response is never "yea baby! Can I get the ring I want?".

My fave OP since Mrs. Robinson!

@zelda yes I remembered reading an article on it. It was like in the 40s I think...

No. I lied. I was close. Mid 1920's.

https://www.yahoo.com/health/the-weird-wild-legal-history-of-breasts-and-104942336487.html

Wasn't this article but we'll the information was there lol.

Bethie - and after 3 dates :-)

I'm finishing up some work and dying here--- between the little duties and everything else this might be my favorite thread ever. it's been a slow day--so i thank you! I'm only sad I'm on my phone so I can't check the other links. know what I'm doing when I get home!

We're getting played. This cannot be real. I even did a google image search so that I could warn those two people in "Faith's" avatar photo that they were being depicted alongside the most ridiculous, rude, and far-fetched wedding post I've ever seen. No luck.

I clicked on the link about the counter service reception. Here's what it said: "...& then we will meet some waiting friends & family at a restaurant for a meal. They will set up a few tables with simple decorations & we are asking that in lieu of gifts that everyone just buy their own meal, as we all have to order our own at a counter & we have both been married before & there isn't anything we need...Our friends & family are already used to buying their own whenever we get together. We will have a small cake that I will make & serve to our guests on pretty plates I have purchased. We are also making plans to do a religious ceremony with buffet meal & reception for our first anniversary & pay for the whole thing...but right now we can't because we are spending time & money working on our house."

This is either complete BS or a pipe-dream. Counter service? Pay for your own meal because we're working on our house? Come back in a year and we'll pay for your meal? Oh, sure...these guests will be sure to cancel their plans to clip their toe nails and watch infomercials to attend a buffet on Faith's first anniversary. Hey, is sis coming to the anniversary party, or is one of the reception games called, "Should We Invite Sister Skank to our Hosted Party Next Year?"

Sooooo I just stumbled on this little nugget of gold in another post....must be a troll...

"I do a lot of party planning services, decorating, making gowns & wedding cakes, etc...

I do it as a gift if they want, sometimes I charge them some costs, but I save them tons of money..."

And continues...

"contracts are always a good idea, even between friends & family. If someone does something really expensive for me as a gift, I do give them a token of appreciation, because I consider their time the gift, but the materials should be paid for somehow....some compensation or recognition, but some people do it all, wanting nothing in return...

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT ANY SERVICES YOU DON'T WANT OR NEED...!!"

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/friendor/2ec5a0f94684a791.html?page=2

I want to party with Faith's sister.

@centerpiece - Agreed, this cannot be real. And if it is.....well....Lord have mercy!

Holy smokes, I'm new to ww, this was quite the welcome

She might be fine with just being a guest if she insists on wearing what she wants to - just ask her. Just be prepared as to how you'll react if she shows up like the first wedding, after telling you she'll oblige you and wear what you want. At that point you won't want it to ruin your day. Tell yourself that you'll just hug her, thank her being there - then focus on your husband... not her.

I'm guessing she was in your first wedding right?