My mother has a new boyfriend

I was semi-understanding of why you may be feeling the way you're feeling until I saw your comments. You sound like a child... I mean how DARE your mothers new boyfriend be excited for you and excited to be a part of the new dynamic.. Get a grip.

You don't want to invite your MOM'S new boyfriend to your wedding?? Am I reading this right? She's finally dating someone after 15 years and instead of being happy for her you're whining that you don't want him at your wedding. Wow. Just completely selfish and self absorbed.

Wow, I am so sorry that you feel so threatened by him that you are willing to chance your relationship with your mom, as well as make her feel like shit. This has nothing to do with etiquette, this has to do with the fact that you are acting like a childish ass, IMO.

He was probably just trying to say something nice on the phone, and you should look at it that way. He probably didn't know what to say, any more than you did, and you are blowing this all out of proportion. If my daughter purposely left my significant other out of an invitation, you can bet it would cause problems.

If you get to be happy with a new life and husband, why can't your mom be happy as well? You will be so busy on your wedding day that your Mom will not get to spend as much time with you as you think, so she should ABSOLUTELY be able to bring her BF.

You have to invite him

You should be happy for your mom and happy that he is interested in wanting to meet you. I know it may be difficult excepting but everyone deserves to be happy! Life is short!

Just think "how bad can it be". I'm sort of in the same situation but have to remember that they clearly make them happy and then they will have someone to keep them company while the other guests and you are busy. She won't get the chance to be alone and will get help along the stressful day. Give him a chance

OP, it sounds like your mother has been nothing but respectful of your relationship with your FH. Its time for you to do the same with her new relationship. This has nothing to do with etiquette. It has everything to do with showing respect for your mother! If you are old enough to get married, then you are old enough to put your childish butthurt feelings aside and do the right thing.

Also, you posted on a public forum. Whether you wanted answers are not, you invited them.

Chastising me for my decision isn't my definition of helping but again..... thanks.

OP, you mentioned that your mom has been dating this man for a few months now. That's long enough for couples to start talking about how well their relationship is going (if it is going well) and start talking more seriously about the long term. If your mom and this man are talking about him attending your wedding, they're planning to still be together over a year from now. They've talked about their mutual desire to pursue the long term.

Your mom's bf was likely trying to communicate that he cares about you as his gf's child, has been listening when your mom talks about you, and shares in her excitement for your future. So he mentioned his excitement about your wedding. He likely feels all of this because he cares very much about your mom and realizes you are a big part of her life.

Give this man a chance. Recognize that your mom is happy and that this relationship has probably already crossed over from casual to serious.

Also, props to him for knowing that as your mom's SO, he would be invited to the wedding with her. The man knows etiquette and he's been nothing but kind and polite to you. He sounds like a keeper.

What would be total icing on the cake is if op's mother is actually contributing financially to the wedding in any way.

I get it. My dad passed away a few years ago and it was tough when my mom started dating again. When FH and I first got engaged, I was dead set against this guy not coming. I even told FH there was no way in hell this guy was going to be at the wedding, sitting in the seat my dad should be sitting in. After some time, I let it go. She's happy with this new guy (only guy she's dated since my dad passed away) and they've been together for awhile. Also, she's been expressing wanting to include him in family things a lot more so FH and I decided he could come to the wedding. Well, before we decided to elope with just the two of us.

Your mom deserves to be happy and if she's found a guy that makes her happy after all of these years of taking care of you and seeing you get your love then be happy for her. Get to know the new guy. Take it a little at a time. Even go as far as to invite them to dinner a few times with you and your FS. You don't want to be the reason they break up because of your resentment/hard feelings towards the guy if he's a good guy. That will create a lot of resentment/hard feelings between you and your mom.

WTF...

If that's how you feel why did you even bring this up? Like really? What would you like us to do, tell you "Oh yes, poor thing, you're mother's first SO in 15 years, what a terrible dilemma. You should tell your mother not to bring him, even though if they're even still together it will be about 2 years."

It sounds like you're just protective of your mother, in which case you need to STATE that, because I guarantee there are a lot of people who've dealt with the same thing. They can give you advice an emotional support for the issue.

I'm sure he mentioned your wedding to be friendly and try to build a relationship with you. I know this is a hard adjustment for you but your going to have to get over it. Not inviting him could (and probably will) cause hurt feelings and start your relationship with him off on a bad note. My aunt has a new boyfriend who she just moved in with, she had several different guys and some of our family doesn't think to well of it but it's her boyfriend who she's lives with so I'm definitely inviting both of them together. A wedding is about love! And to exclude the person your mother loves? Not nice at all.

@FutureMrsGregory - Of course we chastising you. You need to grow up and be a better person. The information you provided is causing our responses. Your decision to post and your decision on how you see your mother's new bf after 15 years of being alone speaks volumes of who you are.

Feel free to update us in a year whether you decided to invite him or not and why. But that's your choice and decision.

It's YOUR day! Who cares about mom?

FFS, I'm kidding. Do you really think that all the people on this thread are completely wrong and you are solely right in this situation? Come on now. Go ahead and not invite him, but I don't think that is going to be great for your relationship with your mom.

I can understand how weird it may have been for you to have him mention going to your wedding the first time you met him, I had a similar situation in January when we met for the first time my cousin's new boyfriend (especially after she only told us the month before that she was getting a divorce after 10 years because she wanted to tell us face to face), so it was so awkward hearing someone we were being introduced to talking about how he "couldn't wait to dance all night long at our wedding". BUT... as PP said, try not to worry so much yet, and try to get to know him a little better, you still have time and there are 2 possibilities: either they've broken up by the time your wedding arrives, or the relationship is stronger, either way there's not much else to do, if they're still together he has to be able to come (social unit and all) and if they break up then he won't be going ETA: my english switch isn't working today and words are hard

Since your wedding is next year how about waiting before you get emotionally involved in this. It may not be an issue in a year

Futuremrsgregory, you're acting horribly selfish and rude. It's taken your mom FIFTEEN YEARS to move on and find love again and instead of being happy for her you're pissy because you don't want her to move on. Maybe you believe she only gets one shot at love and the rest of her life should be spent alone?

People are HELPING you try to avoid making a bad decision. I'm sorry, but you sound selfish and disrespectful. How dare your mother think she has the right to bring her boyfriend to your wedding?!? *sarcasm*...

Especially because by the time your wedding is here they will have been together for more than a year and a half. That's a serious relationship.

ETA: word choice