My groom doesn't think he'll enjoy the day ... =(

All the vendors and everything, but working full time makes it difficult to do everything sometimes, as i'm sure you all understand. So, I'm asking if any of you have experienced the same issue with your groom -- what were you able to include to your day to make it more enjoyable for him? I forgot to mention that we've already been together 11 years (and living together for 7 years), so it basically already feels like we're married we just aren't legal :-p I'm thinking that may have something to do with it too since i'm sure not a whole lot will change.

Any thoughts/suggestions/comments are welcome. Thanks -- and sorry for the long rant! Learning your groom is just waiting for the that the day you've been working hard to plan to be over is slightly upsetting.

I'm also looking forward to my day being over lol

My FH is in a similar situation. He sees how much work and effort I'm putting into the planning that he's concerned that I'm not going to end up enjoying the day because I will be worried about all little things. He says he's sure to have a good time, but if I'm stressing out, he will be too. Maybe your FH is thinking on the same line? If not, then put aside some time to plan your honeymoon together so he can get involved in doing something that he's looking forward to

Did you ask him what he meant by it? he might just mean he's looking forward to being married and you not being stressed with wedding planning. my husband expressed that a lot in the run up to our wedding. especially when you get close, there can be a lot of stress with final details, family stuff, etc.

Don't worry. He'll have a blast that day. He just doesn't know it yet.

We both can't wait for it to be over. lol.

I'm on bored with your FH lol. Between tax season & planning my wedding.. I'm over it. I'm sure the day of I will get back that excitement I once had =] don't worry.. Everything will be fine & you both will enjoy the magical day.

I'm sure he will enjoy the actual wedding. He probably just isn't enjoying the planning. I wouldn't be worried about it.

I'm definitely a planner, so this is kind of what i do. Yes, at times things get stressful, but unless it's something i know he can help with, he doesn't see much of the stress. And in all honesty, it hasnt' been very stressful. I've been having a blast planning and i love every minute of it.

That being said, i think he thinks everythings just too over the top ... i see where he's coming from, but dont think it's over the top. The ceremony/reception is on my family's property out in the middle of nowhere ... we're doing bbq catering with lawn games and a dj, lighting chinese paper lanterns to end the night... i guess i just didn't realize how not 'over the top' he meant.

I think he just might not have elaborated enough on what he said. I don't think you have to worry. I'm sure he will be super happy to be married to you. I honestly cannot wait for my wedding to be over, but that's just because I am so excited to finally be married to the love of my life, and also because I don't like being the center of attention which I will be at my wedding.

So it sounds like hes heard too much about it, and nothing will be a surprise. I suggest not telling him anything else about it(or talking about it less to him, limit it to once a week perhaps), tell your girlfriends instead.

The day of will FLY by. literally. It goes so quickly that all the little stressful details that you spent hours on seem like a far off nightmare.

I suggest incorporating his favorite team, or band, or hobby, or interest into your day as a surprise for him???? Or a song thats for him? Or a grooms cake & song? It depends on his personality. I would want a lord of the rings style medieval swordfight, but my FH would want a heavy metal song playing during a drinking contest, so you might want to think about how to make him happy.

I wouldn't take it too serious. Not at all get super excited over wedding plans. They just want to look forward to the wedding night lol I tell my fh all the time I can't wait to just get this wedding over with. I think we all get too that point where we are like okay let ir happen already.

Thanks ladies!

There's a reason there's a "Brides" magazine and no "Grooms" magazine. One sells, the other wouldn't. Men, generally, are just not that interested in color combinations, centerpieces, wedding cakes, and table clothes. He's probably hearing a lot about this stuff, and would like life to go back to normal -- that's all he means. Don't worry, he'll love his wedding day; he just doesn't know it yet.

I'm kinda looking forward to it being over with. I know I'll enjoy the day (assuming my family behave themselves) but I'm looking forward to life and finances going back to normal. I'm also looking forward to the day being over in terms of getting to be alone with my husband (instead of being "on show" for everyone else all day).

I'm looking forward to being married (ie. not just the wedding) and to what comes with that as we're planning to start TTC.

I am looking forward to our day (my planning has been easy and pretty stress free). Where as FH literally told me that it's not going to be any fun. Really? Sorry I didn't book the overpriced, non-air conditioned barn that you wanted to get married in.

Honestly I am not mad, but was a little taken back when he said that.

I couldn't wait for it to be over either, in the months leading up to it, but I ended up having a blast that day. It was impossible to not get caught up in the excitement and emotions.

Stress can get the best of everyone. I agree with talking with him about what he meant.

Also, you both need a break from the wedding planning craziness. Take a day or two to do something new and fun together; couple trapeze class, cooking class, or something you always talked about. It doesn't have to be expensive, just to get your mind off the wedding for a bit.

Did you ask him why he isn't looking forward to it?

It could be disinterest in details, it could be that he's sick of watching you all stressed and busy. But there could be other reasons. Maybe he's shy and doesn't look forward to being the center of attention all day? Or he's worried that a member of his family will cause drama? Or he would have rather put the money towards a house or retirement?

I would get to the root of the anxiety instead of making assumptions. You could also ask if he wants to be in charge of the honeymoon - if that's what he's looking forward to the most, and it's not planned yet, that could be bothering him as well.

Have him book the DJ, I find that job gets assigned to a lot of grooms!