My FH's groomsomen and ushers are asking for paid tuxes...

When asking someone to be in a wedding, they should accept knowing that they pay for their own attire. Gifts are the usual as a "thank you" but definitely NOT paying for their attire! That is crazy!

Most tux rentals are at least $100/ each. So, in my book, that's expensive. It is usually the GM responsibility to pay for the tux. PLaces like Men's werehouse will give the groom's tux rental free if they rent 4 or 5 others. You could do it as their gift, if budget allows, but generally, it's the GM problem.

What?! Not happening. They have to pay for that themselves.

I always thought that they got their own. I could see them asking for you guys to get them if you were getting the bm dresses, but if the girls have to buy theirs, the guys should get theirs as well. Why don't they just rent them. They at least have that option. The bridesmaids don't usually get that option.

Yeah, when you accept a WP role, you assume that you'll be paying for your attire, whether you're a man or a woman. Some couples are able and willing to cover the cost, but that should always be a happy surprise, not something people think will be guaranteed.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm wonder where they got the idea that you guys should pay for their outfits???

Have you picked out tuxes yet? If not, do you at least have a ballpark figure of how much the rental would cost? I think a fair compromise is to pay for their tux in lieue of a gift. OR pay half or however much you've budgeted for the GM gift.

I agree when you accept to be part of a WP you accept the financial responsiblity involved-which could be small or large, depending on the circumstances. But some people don't know that is the case. So maybe when you ask someone to be in your wedding party who may not have experience with such things, you should explain the financial obligations. You should also take into account, when asking, that so and so might not be the best choice because they can't afford this or that, but you should give the option anyway. Something like "I'd be honored if you would be one of my groomsmen. It means renting a tux, coming in a night early for the rehearsal, and helping with my bachelor party. I know it can get expensive so I understand if you can't do it." This is what I did for my GM and ushers and also explained we were trying to budget their tux rentals into our plans so they wouldn't have to pay, but no guarantees. We were able to pay for it for them.

I think JLM is right, but unfortunately, it seems like it's already past that point in this situation.

Also, while I agree GM should not assume tux will be paid for the difference between a BM and GM is that she gets to keep her dress. The GM only gets to wear his for one day. Kind of unfair to the men, if you think about it. And the CHEAPEST rental at MW for a tux that includes a colored vest and tie is over $100. Some BM dresses are less than that. You can get a rental without the colors for around $50.

Maybe since you still have some time you can look into more options, re discuss with each of the men what is expected and see if they are still interested. These things can be a huge financial expense for a WP member and maybe they just didn't get it. It's ok to explain it to them now and give them an 'out'.

True is kinds sucks that the GM's have to spend a lot for a rental and the BM does get to keep her but...the BM's spend A LOT of money in jsut prepping for the day-tanning,getting hair dyed, waxed, nails done, make-up, etc... i always think men get the cheapest route! LOL

Thanks for all your input....FH's groomsmen and ushers are all older and financially stable enough to rent their own tuxes...however, FH's groosmen are cooking for our wedding!! Maybe this is why they expect their tuxes will be paid for?? Should FH just bite the bullet and pay for them? We are not trying to be cheap...but as you ladies know..paying for a debt is a big expense and this is just something we didn't plan on when making our budget.

No Way. They should totally understand that they need to pay for them themselves. It doesn't matter if they offer to help by cooking you say...that's like their gift to you! I don't know, but my opinion is that on someone's wedding day you should help out as much as possible, give a great gift, and expect nothing in return. That's the point of wedding...to help two people start their lives together. So NO WAY should you pay for the tuxes. I felt bad since my bridesmaid's have to travel and pay for hotels to come to my wedding and thought about paying for their dresses....luckily I decided not to. I know you want to help and you feel guilty, but DON'T!

*I meant paying for a wedding is a big expense!

I hear ya @ emandjess...thanks!

I think they should know it's not in your budget unfortunately. If you could afford it, you would be happy to but that's just not the case. Will you have a rehearsal and provide a meal?

Maybe you can tell them they don't need to get you a wedding gift and/or nothing fancy or expensive is expected for a bachelor party?

It's American custom to have each wedding party member to pay for their own, with exceptions for your own kids, maybe younger siblings--- other cultural customs where bride and grooms pay because they were in previous wedding parties where their current bm/gm paid for theirs--stuff like that.

But really that is not the norm in this country.

I just want to clarify I don't think it is appropriate for them to expect you to pay and it's not ok for them to now tell you they expect it.

It is def not your responsibility. I agree with whoever said that when you accept to be in a wp you accept to pay for your attire.

I've paid for all of my bridesmaid dresses, the bridal party is responsible for their own clothing.

It is the responsibility of the wedding party to pay for their own attire (dress, tux, suit, shoes, etc), unless the bride and groom tell the wedding party they will cover the expense. This can be a huge expense for the couple!

You state your groomsmen/ushers are cooking and therefore expect the tux rental. Are you compensating them in anyway for cooking? For their time, food, equipment? If not, and they are providing food and services for free, then I would say cover the tux rental. If you are compensating for food or time or equipment, then they shoudl rent their own tuxes.

I didn't read anyone else's post but don't they think you're spending enough already without having to pay for their tuxes too! Not to be mean but I thought everyone knew if you are in the party you have to pay for the dress/tux yourself.