My FH's groomsomen and ushers are asking for paid tuxes...

I'd be telling them, you either pay for your suit, or we'll find someone else to fill your spot in the wedding. If you all didn't offer to pay for them, etiquette says THEY pay for it.

@Michele S. We are not compensating them for the cooking...we did offer to pay for the cost of the food and for chafing dishes but they insist it is a gift to us.

Okay, yes, BMs get to keep their dresses, but how many BM dresses have any of us owned that we ACTUALLY wanted to ever wear again? I remember the awful separates we wore in the last wedding I was in--I can't believe the people at the bridal store were able to tell me with a straight face that I could wear the top out to bars with jeans! Apparently they assumed I wouldn't mind people asking why I was wearing half a bridesmaids' dress. :p



And as Teresa points out, BMs also often have to pay for hair, nails, bridal shower, etc.--way more of an investment than GMs generally make in the wedding.

Since they are paying for the food and catering it, I think it would be really nice of you two to pay for their tuxes and not get them a traditional thank you gift for being part of the wedding party.

For the ushers, maybe just pay the deposit or a portion of it and don't get them a gift.

At Men's Wearhouse, you can get the groom's tux for free and I believe that you can get a coupon if you bought your wedding gown at David's Bridal.

Cabell...I was thinking the same thing! I would rather pay a $100 bucks and then give that thing back!!

I have been a "bridesmaid, never a bride" for many weddings and I have always known from the start that I was responsible for paying for my stuff. I have never heard of a GM wanting to have the bride and groom pay. In this situation I can see where the lines are blurry. I think JJ makes a good point, it seems like the best way to make everyone happy and get what they need/want. You food, them a free tux.

Good Luck!

I paid for my MOH's dress but only because she is flying halfway accross the country to be at the wedding. I am not doing this for all of the bridesmaids and we are definately not paying for the GM tuxes. That is their responsibility

Its not your responsibility, its theirs. all my girls and our guys understood this, and every single one of them... never been in a wedding before. they didnt have to ask or anything. just common sense isnt it? you definitely do not have to pay