My dad won't walk me down the aisle.

Big, big hugs your way.

Just to confirm, the dad "signing you away" thing was becuase you were 17 and you have to be of age to get married?

Okay, but he knows now that you got divorced because you were abused, right? And he still shames you for the divorce?

That doesn't sounds sweet to me.

I know that it's hard to not get the quality, supporting parental relationship that everyone deserves, but pretending it's there when it isn't will not make up for it.

So forgoing any judgments about your relationship or age, my suggestion would be to find someone else to walk you if it is really important to you. My father refused to walk me with no explanation but we have religious differences and sometimes those differences cause awkwardness in our relationship. I asked my best friend to walk me down the aisle and it was perfect. We both cried and it felt way more meaningful than if my father had walked me. I have also heard of couples whose parents are deceased or unavailable where the bride starts down the aisle by herself but the groom meets her halfway and they finish the walk together. There are many options. Try googling "alternate wedding processionals/ entrances."

Omg girl that's really fast for how young you are. think about pushing the wedding even farther. i think like a lot of other ladies have said you may have more healing you need to do with out realizing it.

but as far as your dad goes, if you didnt want to marry your first husband then your dad is a jack ass and i wouldnt want him walking me down the aisle.

My last comment:

My first marriage, I was 19. I got married young due to religious reasons. No kids involved or anything. Got divorced five years later. So I get the "stigma" that you probably feel you are facing. I think some of it is annoying, I think looking back, some of it is warranted (let's face it, I'm divorced and going into my second marriage).

I stick by not pushing the issue with your dad. If he said no and doesn't change his mind between now and the start of your music the day of...it will forever be HIS loss. Not yours. You don't want someone walking you down the aisle that does not WANT to be there. Not the kind of energy you want with you on that special day.

By yourself is always better in life than any negative energy. In any and every situation.

Yeah, sorry. But your dad was an asshole for signing you off to some dude just because you were pregnant and he was embarrassed. He's not sweet, he's kind of a jerk. And then is upset because you divorced someone who was abusive instead of having your back? That's not a very fatherly thing to do. My dad would strangle a man if he abused me, not shame me.

I don't think you quite understand the gravity of what he's done to you.

Sounds like your father might be ashamed about making you marry this guy but he can't admit it, so he'd rather not talk about it at all. This is of course just an outsiders opinion and I might be completely wrong.

But is there somebody else important in your life that could do it? There are even people that walk together down the aisle. It might not be traditional, but I think you might be past traditional already You could also carry your son down the aisle.

Yes Kathryn. He signed Bc he had to with me being only 17. Same with my ex's parents. They all signed Bc they're old fashioned and just wanted to cover it up. My ex's parents are the devil and a whole different story altogether so let's just say I don't blame my dad or my mom for "signing me away." Now that a few of you have said its pretty normal now to walk down alone I think I like that idea better anyhow! (:

Why did they sign you away at 17th? And against your wishes? If they did that back then, why would they hesitate to be supportive now? What is your rush to get married? You have your whole life to get to know this man. You are still very young. IMO, a year is not enough time to really know your SO.

"You're pregnant?! QUICK, get married real fast while God isn't looking! HURRY, before He sees!"

They signed Bc of old fashioned religion issues and I've closely known him for 5 years..and lived with him for 8 months..by now..I really do know him. (:

Purplekitten omgggg that just made my day lmao!! That's really how it was though.

Wait......... What? Gonna sound rude but I don't really care. A long engagement is not a year. Yes you were rushed into your last marriage but I think you should slow down with this one. Get to know yourself. I'm also 20 so I don't have a lot of room to judge but this is just, wow. Before you turn 22 you've already gotten married twice and have a kid? Good luck with everything and I genuinely mean it.

I think your best bet would be to walk alone or some alternative with your FH. Everyone deserves to feel supported and happy on their wedding day. I hope that whatever alternative way you walk down the aisle, is perfect for you. I love the idea of you walking halfway and FH meeting you..

Edited: Its FH not DH, lol my caffeine needs to kick in

I'm still confused about the signing away thing. I get that you needed their permission because you were 17, but are you saying you didn't want to get married but your parents forced you?? Yeah, I wouldn't want them to walk me down the aisle if that was the case. That's horrible.

All of that aside, don't fret about walking down the aisle alone. I'm doing it. Lots of people do it.

We could have a whole conversation on here about age, marriage, religion. We are from completely separate worlds. If you're happy in yours, I'm no one to judge. I think you should incorporate your son. Alot of kids carry signs down the aisle that say "here comes your bride" etc. He should carry one that says "here we come" or "here comes your family", or the likes. (there are more creative girls here than me) since he is taking BOTH of you, not just the bride. I've seen family weddings where the bride and groom hold hands with the child as well while exchanging vows (not rings, obviously), signifying the unity of the family, not just husband and wife.

I'm sorry for what you've been through with your ex. As some previous posters said, it's an honor for your father to walk down the aisle, and it's his loss if he decides not to. If your mother is supportive, maybe ask her or walk alone. Best of luck.

I am not going to get into all of the other stuff, but I don't think you need any cute gimmick-- just walk by yourself! No big deal-- brides do it *all the time* and most people won't think anything of it.

And you guys, in the US, parents sign papers to give their children permission to marry before they are legally of age to do so on their own-- a parent can't actually legally marry you off-- you still need to declare intent yourself and still need to say the vows yourself. It's shitty her parents forced her into it, but she wasn't married when they signed the papers-- she just had their legal permission to marry.

Barbara, it's very easy for a parent to manipulate a child into 'declaring intent' when they actually don't want to.