My dad won't walk me down the aisle.

I don't think any of you are assholes. I'm sure it does sound crazy. My fiancé and I have known each other since I was 15 and we decided on the long engagement so that people wouldn't think I was crazy lol. My son will be 2 and a half by the time of the wedding. I love my family but their religious views are what made them sign. I told them I was pregnant when I was a month along and then I was about 3 months pregnant when we got married. They were trying to cover up the fact that I got pregnant out of wedlock. And believe it or not I only had sex with the guy once and ended up being pregnant. It was horrible. I kicked him out after our son was 4 months old and we haven't been together since. My son is now 1 and a half. The man I'm with now is 100% who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I've already started (by living with him). My parents still don't like that in divorced but they told me I was making the right decision Bc this is the man I really do love and he great to me and my child and fully supportive in everything. I never thought my dad would say that but I guess he does still feel bitter about the whole thing. I just imagine the first marriage never happened. (Sorry for the book.)

It sounds like there are a million things wrong here, and I don't think it's all your fault. I hope you take some time to take care of yourself and your son after getting out of an abusive relationship and also cope and come to terms with how your family has acted through these relationships.

Anything I could contribute to this would come across super judgmental, so I'm trying not to do it. But why would you want to have anything to do with a dad that signed you away?

I think dad is concerned about giving you away for multiple reasons. First the previous marriage just really ended and you are engaged so soon. Second maybe he feels guilty for making you marry an abusive man. This one is hard. I guess I would have to hear more details about why your parents forced a marriage. As for me my relationship has never been the best with my father so my son's are walking me down the aisle.

Let's try again with a real comment: Could you get the first marriage annulled somehow, so your parents wouldn't see you as divorced in the eye of god and your dad wouldn't have a problem with walking you down the aisle?

I'm okay with walking down the aisle alone; I guess its just strange to me Bc I've never seen it done before.

You decided on a long engagement?? A year is not that long? When did he propse?

Its done all the time so just do that.. Alot of the girls here have walked in by themselves.

Maybe your dad recognized his mistake the first time around and doesn't want to make it a second time around?

Sounds like there are a LOT of pieces to this story and I don't want to go guessing at filling them in.

ETA: Either way, whatever the outcome - there is nothing wrong with walking down the aisle by yourself. No one needs to actually give you away. It's a privilege you can offer to your dad or a brother if you have any, but if they say no, then just walk proudly on your own. Personally, I love the look of a bride walking by herself. I just think it looks pretty

I don't want to sound judgemental, but I probably will.....like the other posters, this sounds a little odd.

1) Why would your parents sign you away to get married? Did you WANT to be married to him?

2) Not sure, but i've been around some women who were in abusive relationships, and it takes time to heal and work on yourself again. Are you ready to be married to another man again? Just gotta make sure your old wounds heal so you can give your new husband all of you, not the broken pieces this man may have left you with.

ETA: I want to answer your question, will your son be walking? if so, have him walk ahead of you (I think you suggested you like that idea). If your dad really doesnt want to walk you down when asked a 2nd time, walk alone. There is nothing wrong with it at all.

I don't think your dad deserves to walk you down.

I'm sorry for what you went through. Getting pregnant at a young age is very stressful, and your parents handled it awfully by signing you away to another person just because you had sex with them once.

At the same time, it might throw people off that you're engaged again so quickly afterwards. I lived with my fiancee only after dating him for 2 months, but we got engaged right before our 3 year dating anniversary.

You have to come to terms that your parents wronged you, and someone who thinks the solution to a life-changing decision is to sweep it under the rug because they would be embarrassed is not good. You will have to address this as you, your child, and your fiancee as your family unit. It's perfectly okay to walk down by yourself or with a toddler in front of you.

@kathryn you took the words out of my mouth

To answer your question about walking down the aisle...plenty of people do it alone and other walk with their fiance, mom, sibling, cousin....whoever. I don't think that's the issue here.

Kela, it has been done before. And you don't have to have a male figure walk you down. I've seen all kinds of people walk people down. I've seen brides go alone on here. I've seen brides walk just with their soon to be spouses. You don't have to go with tradition on everything or anything at all!

Also, the dad had to sign for her to get married. She was only 17. I think you have to be 18. So in order for it to happen the dad had to "sign her away".

Okay, what I've read is that your dad forced you to marry someone against your will because he disapproved of a choice you made (the choice to have sex before marriage). He did this even though he knew you were being abused, and he's disappointed in you for divorcing even though you were being abused.

Having him walk you down the aisle would be an embarrassment.

Walk alone with your head held high and proud that he isn't participating.

Echoing what PK said, if my father did that he wouldn't be in my life anymore, to be frank.

Kela, Thank you for the additional info. I do think your parents were wrong for forcing you into marriage #1. Literally signing you away... that is beyond old-fashioned. But would you be open to a longer engagement, and get married in 2017 instead of 2016? Not so much for your parents... it could be helpful for you and your FH, too. Build your foundation, save money, plan your future, let the dust settle, etc. Just a thought.

I'm not 100% sure the parents knew he was abusing her.

I was living alone with my son from the time he was 4 months old and paying all of my bills and even went to a therapist for the abuse. That was 6 months. In January I started dating my FH and moved in with him in February. (That's what went really fast, but like I said we've known eachother for a while.) Then he proposed in August and we decided on the date to be 10/15/16. That's my timeline I hope I'm making it less confusing. ?? As for my dad.. Our relationship is just a very quiet sweet one. He doesn't talk to me at all but still does anything for me. He didn't know my ex was abusive and when I told him I've come to the realization that he just didn't know what to do and felt guilty. After that he just sort of distanced himself even more and is just supportive of me without wanting to know any details. (If that makes sense.)