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Mallory
Expert September 2017

My brothers Transgender

Mallory, on October 8, 2016 at 10:52 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 104

I guess I'm asking advice and opinions if I'm being selfish...So my brother came out and said he thinks he wants to become a women... he has only told a few of my family members. He dresses kind of out there anyways as he is a clothing designer but recently started growing his hair long and wears a...

I guess I'm asking advice and opinions if I'm being selfish...So my brother came out and said he thinks he wants to become a women... he has only told a few of my family members. He dresses kind of out there anyways as he is a clothing designer but recently started growing his hair long and wears a purse & sometime kimonos.So I'm sure my family has an idea of what's going on. My wedding is September 2017 and I want him to be in my wedding. I haven't officially asked him but was hoping he wouldn't be offended if I'd ask him to wear suit instead of a dress...my feelings are that my wedding will turn out to be his coming out transgender party and take away from our wedding. Am I being selfish and not thinking of his feelings? I have not problem towards his decision...it's just very new to me and I'm not sure how things will turn out. Advice? Ideas?

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104 Comments

  • nolalishak
    Master June 2017
    nolalishak ·
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    I am really proud of this comment thread. I love yall.

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  • Stephanie
    Expert April 2018
    Stephanie ·
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    Very selfish.

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  • basicallybex
    Devoted October 2017
    basicallybex ·
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    It's not selfish to want your wedding to be about you, HOWEVER

    Gender Dysphoria is PAINFUL and can cause a lot of setback in her acceptance of herself if she is asked to present male, when She identifies as a female. I've watched Gender Dysphoria tear a person apart, you two should sit down and discuss this. Let her voice be heard.

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  • Kels
    Master August 2016
    Kels ·
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    My sister is transgender.

    Male to female.

    She stood on my side and wore a dress. It was the first time some of our family saw her as her. It did not take away from the wedding at all.

    I loved that I got to share that experience with her as a sister. It was very special and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    Of course she will be offended if you tell her to wear a suit! Please think of your siblings feelings.

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