My boyfriend wants me to sign a cohabitation agreement AND a prenup agreement

Is this real??

If there are no definite answers for a wedding date, and you aren't clear on where.you stand, then you shouldn't be moving to his country. Where does he live?? Where do you live?

Chantel, I'm not thinking so. The post on reddit got deleted. I think it's a troll.

Sorry this is the link

http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=2209538#i

They removed it yes. dont know why.

He lives in the states, i live in europe

I know, he started to make me feel very uncertain these past 2 weeks, as if he changed and that why hes actions seem weird.. but he keeps telling me everythings fine. but now wants me to sign everything before i quit my job and move

and im halfway there already since i sold all of my things and im getting out of my apt that im renting. 90% of my clothes and other important things are already in his apt

You should definitely get off this website and come back once you're engaged and have more details. I think Reddit was the more appropriate place for you to post.

You need your *own* lawyer that *you* hire and *you* pay for. Otherwise, him hiring a lawyer "for you" is really just him having two lawyers.

There is no way I would sign either of these if I was moving across the world for this guy. You are already giving up SOOO much, it is his turn to take a risk. Depending on the exact circumstances, it it also very unlikely that you will be able to get a new job as a foreigner in his country. This, along with the pre-nup, will put you in a very vulnerable, and dependent position. . .

There should definitely be conversations regarding both. it should protect both of you. we have a prenup.

I would not give up my home, job, and life for a boyfriend. That's just me though.

If you aren't even engaged, how will you be able to stay in the States? Don't you need a fiancée visa?

I'm new i've been following the forums for a bit but haven't posted yet. I wanted to weigh in on this as I know many people feel as you do. I suggest you get a lawyer in the country you are moving to as suggested by Enya it is important to have your own separate legal representation. I am a lawyer, I used to family law and have prepared both types of agreements and I have recommended them to couples who have chosen not to use them. I am not personally using either but FH an I purchased all of our assets together the only thing to protect would be my pension and a few other things. We got together soon after I finished school and decided we aren't going to do either but discussed it. I can say that every country has it's own laws with regard to assets, children, spousal support etc upon disolution of marriage or a common law relationship. There can be differences within a country as well so be sure you get a lawyer in the area you intend to live. I agree with both types of agreements and they are meant sometimes to achieve different purposes. Just make sure it equally protects you and your interests. You should also speak with your FH to let him know how you feel and that you don't like that he didn't even discuss the cohabitation agreement with you. If he was divorced once he is likely cautious especially if was a difficult divorce as they can be quite nasty as everyone knows and can have dire financial effects on both partners. He may just want to cover all bases this time, I am very practical in these things and it is important to plan for what may happen although I'm deliberately choosing not to myself in this way. No one plans to get divorced when the go into a marriage but it happens so much now that it's hard not to consider the what if's.

Lisa thank you for your reply, i have a question, he says the main reason for the prenup is bcause he has a company he needs investors in the future to buy a percentage of the company, and if there wont be a prenup then no investor would want to take action knowing that he isnt the only owner of the company but his wife is in aswell. his last divorce was nasty as his ex was trying to take over his company even with a prenup. She left with a house a car and money every month for 3 years because of something that was written in the prenup. He told me he will cancel that part of the prenup - making it even more strict. when i asked why he said because of investors (again), problem is that i cant say a thing to this because i dont understand the business world.

im a flight attendant and i travel as much as i can to see him even if its just for a day (its a 12 hr flight) but i do anything for him. a few days ago when i was last there, i told him that ill be quitting this week so i can be with him by november, but he replied with - first sign prenup then quit. seemed unfair to me that he keeps making out future decisions all the time, but i let it go. Yesterday we skyped since thats how we keep in touch when we\re not together, and he brought up the whole idea of cohabitation agreement - saying that his lawyer came up with this idea and he has no idea what it is exactly since he never had one. although i dont know what to believe anymore.. does it seem legit?

thanks

I don't see a huge issue with it. He told you about it before you moved and before you quit your job. If you look over the documents and really have an issue with their contents then I would then do something about it. Right now he is just a guy who has been hurt trying to make sure if he gets hurt again it isn't as bad this time.

Dblondi, have him pay, but interview your own attorney. As for the cohabitation agreement, make sure there is something in writing should the relationship end, he will provide financial support for a determined amount of time.

Btw - i dont know if it matters or changes from state to state, but he lives in the state of PA

also, a lot of the comments here opened my eyes regarding the fact that i have to see what he writes regarding my protection, it seemed all about him that i totally canceled myself. but thanks to you i will now look for the part that is about me aswell and know what happens to me if something goes bad in our future

Your welcome. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Maybe he is trying to protect you in the cohabitation agreement. If you haven't read it yet, I wouldn't assume it was just for him.

In other news... 90 Day fiance starts OCT 19th! This is what this thread reminded me of!

I have nothing of importance to add to this thread except that I have been engaged for a year and a half and still call my fiance "boyfriend" in public.

@Danielle: I am the same way! My fw and I have been engaged almost 7 years and I still call her my girlfriend in public! Maybe it's because I don't want to go through all the laws changing with same-sex marriage with these people. Fw calls me her "partner" sometimes, and people think I work with her! I hate that term!

Okay, I read the entire post from the link you posted. The pre-nup makes 100% sense, even a more strict one. You said he owns a company that gets investors and it turns away investors if there is no pre-nup. This is normal and makes sense. Investors don't want to give someone their money if there is a chance a random woman can marry him and then take half of their money, too, not just the guy's money. (not saying you will, but any good investor will look into this) You said he has been divorced two times before, not just one. So this would be his third marriage. Obviously, he is learning from his mistakes. Not anything against you, it's just being cautious since he has assets. But definitely make sure you are protected under it, as well. You also said that he wants you to sign the pre-nup BEFORE quitting your job and moving out. I also feel this is wise. You mentioned that you think it's because he is concerned you think it's too strict and will walk away. This is actually very considerate of him. Because it still lets you have an escape route, should you really not like something in the pre-nup and want to leave. This is a VERY good idea to see this BEFORE quitting your job. Pre-nups scare some girls off and sometimes some people take them offensively and it tears at the relationship. I think they are perfectly fine and normal (but again, I'm from the legal world). So this is something you should definitely do.

The cohabitation agreement was recommended by the attorney, not your boyfriend. It now seems more normal to me. Of course the attorney would recommend it. It's less strange now.

My advice - Ask your boyfriend to have his attorney send you drafts of the two agreements. Go over these carefully and make sure you understand them (even if you don't have an attorney, go over them). They can send you copies with "draft" typed on top of them so that you can go over them and if you have changes to them, don't be afraid to ask! You should definitely not just go there and sign on the same day. Ask about ANY changes that you think should be made. Even if you think they are silly, bring them up. But I agree that you should not quit your job until AFTER you sign the documents, which would be AFTER you receive a draft copy and review them carefully.