My boyfriend wants me to sign a cohabitation agreement AND a prenup agreement

With these last two comments you added, it doesn't sound like lawyers need to be involved for a cohabitation agreement for you to move into his house. The reason I was considering one with my boyfriend at the time was because we were putting an equal amount of money into the down payment for a house and if he left the house to me if we broke up, I wouldn't be able to afford the payments on my own. So the agreement specified how we would figure out the payments in light of a break up. But since you aren't coming with anything and he already owns the house, you don't need one. He has insurance to cover if you burn down the house or trash the place after a break up (not saying you would, I'm saying from his perspective). I don't really see why he is adamant about bringing in lawyers for just you moving in with him. Do you have a copy of the agreement right now?

And no, do not use his lawyers. He is paying them so they are working for him. They will be on his side at all times, even though he is saying they are for you.

ETA - My fiance moved into my condo with nothing for a year before we bought the house together. He literally only had a computer and clothes. I had everything else. We didn't sign an agreement then. But I think if you are doing it, do as Miss to Mrs said and make sure you have a part in there that says he will pay for you to return to your life back home. Not buy you a house and car, just the equal cost you are paying now to get out there, since you left your job.

Yes, it makes a lot of sense, i feel as if hes only thinking about himself... i want to feel protected too, ill know for sure what he has in mind once i see it, but the whole idea behind it just scares me that makes me feel like a piece of meat (if that makes sense)

It usually has less to do with you being a piece of meat but more with protecting assets. Seriously talk to a lawyer. We don't know your exact situation

There are many unromantic parts of relationships. Unfortunately it isn't all about the wedding. I think it's very smart to get all the important conversations and boring paper work out of the way. Many relationships fail because of finances and not addressing who has what and who is responsible for which things. I think its more of a red flag is he has gone through a divorce and is not concerned about these things.

What a romance killer. Geez.

A pre-nup is one thing (since he's been through a divorce), but when you throw more legal documents on top of that which aren't really necessary... ugh. It's just a drag.

So glad neither of us had been married before... we went into this with pretty much nothing, and if we were to part ways, we'd just split everything.

The funniest thing about "scorned men" is that they agreed to the terms of their divorce settlements, and then bitch and complain later that they got "shafted." BS. You have to agree to the terms, and if you sign/agree, then it's your own fault for not fighting for what you want anymore.

It sounds like he's been screwed over in the past. From my own experience, I wish I had one when I lived with my ex. I was literally thrown out with pretty much nothing. Ex kept everything & what I was "allowed" to take was damaged.

I don't think he's doing this to be mean to you. It could be that it's being done so the both of you are protected.

Could someone please explain to me (since im really clueless with this) how can it protect me aswell other than protecting himself (the cohabitation agreement)

Big bang, red flag.

It is protecting yourself because the cohabitation document should include a clause saying that he should be required to assist you in getting you back to your old life (should you break up). This is protecting you, because he could kick you out and leave you stranded.

The most important thing is that you sign something that you are okay with and fill be okay with in the future. FH's ex begs him for more money (on top of spousal and child support) regularly. It's like, if you wanted more money, why did you sign the papers? (he was VERY generous, for the record.) If you're giving up everything for him, where would that leave you if things were go to badly? You need to figure out what you'd need especially if you don't have a job in his country yet(ie plane ticket home, a hotel room if you can't leave the country immediately). He needs to recognize that you're giving up A LOT to be with him. I also don't get the cohabitation agreement, you have no right to what's his until you're married or if he adds your name to his accounts...definitely get a lawyer that's not the same one who drafted the docs for him (ie in his best interest). Best of luck!

In my opinion, OP, you should be the one calling the shots on this legal crap. You're the one making the bigger sacrifice.

Rusticbride, I second that. my mother gave up her life for my father (he was a diplomat) and knew many other women who did the same only to be burned when their husbands cheated, etc.

I think he is watching too much Big Bang. whats next?

Wait wait wait...I just realized you said boyfriend. You're not even engaged, why are you on a wedding website?

@Melissa...

crickets.

Good point.

For my understanding we are to get married once i move there, but now everything is just a blur.

Exactly what Future Mrs. Bauer said.

I've been in that situation where I was left with nothing. It sucks.

I posted this on another thread as well as on this one, although this one gave me 1000 character limitation, while the other one let me type and type and type. the bigger more detailed story is here: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/2i6kk3/my_boyfriend_wants_me_to_sign_a_cohabitation/

if youre interested in knowing more details.

I'm interested to know what country you live in now vs. what country you will be moving to. Do you know how your rights compare between the two countries? Something to think about...

no no, we decided to get married, but when talking to him about our honeymoon and date of wedding, he seems to get quiet. and i dont want to talk to him over a text or phone i want to talk to him about this face to face, problem is, we dont see each other every day since im halfway around the world, but doing everything i can to fly to him atleast twice to three times a month