My boyfriend wants me to sign a cohabitation agreement AND a prenup agreement

He's just trying to protect his assets in case something happens. I wouldn't worry - unless you're with him for the money.

Erica is right. Especially these days, a lot of folk go into marriages with prenups etc to protect their assests. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Thanks for your replies!

im a flight attendant from the other side of the world and im leaving everything behind for this man, knowing i have to sign a prenup i had no problem with, but since he is divorced he updated me that he is making the prenup a little more strict this time, and had asked me to sign in it before quitting my job after im almost half way there which made me worried, and yesterday while we skyped he told me out of the blue that there will be a cohabitation agreement to be signed aswell. so im a little confused to why all these changes are happening. im so clueless when it comes to these things, i just want to build a home with him but it feels as if hes having second thoughts and not telling me?

Thanks for your replies!

im a flight attendant from the other side of the world and im leaving everything behind for this man, knowing i have to sign a prenup i had no problem with, but since he is divorced he updated me that he is making the prenup a little more strict this time, and had asked me to sign in it before quitting my job after im almost half way there which made me worried, and yesterday while we skyped he told me out of the blue that there will be a cohabitation agreement to be signed aswell. so im a little confused to why all these changes are happening. im so clueless when it comes to these things, i just want to build a home with him but it feels as if hes having second thoughts and not telling me?

Red flag! There is absolutely no need for a cohabitation agreement unless it is to protect you! You are the one quitting your job to move half way around the world for this man, you are the one who will lose if something doesn't work out before the marriage.

I only moved 2 states and quit a job for my FH but his concern was for my finances if we didn't work out because he kept his job and I gave up mine.

PRENUP - My FH lost a fortune during his divorce, if anyone would want a strict prenup, I would think it would be him. I have no problem signing one but would be pissed if he made it stricter based upon the things his ex wife did to him! Cheating clause, absolutely! But make sure it's there for him too!

I don't think a prenup implies second thoughts. He isn't planning for divorce; he's planning in case of divorce. Since you said he's already divorced, he's probably just doing because of what happened last time.

But if you are quitting your job, make sure you have a way of keeping yourself financially secure. If he's forcing you to quit your job, then make sure the prenup helps you with a little starting money in case you do get divorced.

What will he do if you disagree?

Oh, and get a lawyer to look at everything before you sign it.

I personally don't see anything wrong with this as long as he is ok with you taking your time to have a lawyer look over both agreements and making changes if necessary. If he's pushing you into signing them without proper representation, then I'd be worried.

It sounds like he's been screwed over before and just wants his bases covered just in case. I don't see anything wrong there. But you should definitely make sure both documents not only protect him, but also protect you. If it's all about him and he hasn't given thought to your safety - that would be a red flag for me.

A prenup is fine, but a cohabitation agreement...is his name Sheldon Cooper?

LMFAO @Melissa!

A prenup is fine. I was a little surprised my fiance didn't want me to sign one. I would have if he wanted me to.

A cohabitation agreement on the other hand seems weird. I've never heard of one of those (other than Sheldon as Melissa said).

What exactly is involved in this cohabitation agreement? I think it's good to discuss and have a plan on how to divide finances, chores, etc. but to sign an agreement just seems excessive.

What does he mean by cohabitation agreement? Rules for chores and what tv shows you watch on what nights? (I also thought Big Bang Theory).

The pre-nup is fine, but make sure you have your own representative look it over before you sign. If he refuses you that or won't allow any changes to it for your benefit then yes, huge red flag.

It hasnt been typed yet, ive read online that cohabitation agreement is just like a prenup but for a couple who havent tied the knot yet. "whats mine is mine whats yours is yours"

im not sure if i will be able to change anything if it isnt to my liking.. he told me that an ex girlfriend of his that he was dating before his last marriage did not want to sign the prenup and they broke up. it just seems too much, his ex wife didnt sign it, his lawyer told him about it (or so he says) and hes up for it, he didnt even ask me if im ok with it, i mean i understand the prenup but cohabitation? i thought we were planning on getting married pretty soon after my move. im very confused.

I actually typed up a cohabitation agreement for my fiance at me because we were only dating while we co-purchased a house (ended up getting engaged 3 days after getting the keys). Though we knew were were getting engaged that year, I just wanted to protect myself. I work in a law firm, so that was normal. He reviewed it, but we didn't actually sign it. And he has much more to lose than I do if we broke up. I wouldn't be surprised if YOU made him sign that agreement, but I am confused on why HE is making you sign that. Unless he's dated people in the past that have completely trashed his apartment after a break up. Since he is divorced, it sounds like it went badly so I'm not surprised he is cautious. I don't know. This is tricky. Talk to him about how you are feeling. If he isn't understanding and is defensive, that is a big red flag and you should probably leave him. Red flags are usually there for a reason. People's real traits come out when you live with them, which is why I prefer to live with people before marrying them. Good luck.

What's mine is mine and what's yours is yours? Red flag! That's not how marriage works. That's how roommates work. I have a personal question and you don't have to answer this... Have you met this guy in real life yet?

I don't get a cohabitation agreement since when it comes to assets, in most states, unless you have a common law marriage, you aren't entitled to any assets until you marry. So if he has a significant 401k, even if you live with him, you can't get your mitts on it until you marry. If he owns a house, unless he legally goes through the process to add you to the deed, you aren't entitled to it. It takes a significant cohabitation period in order for you to be entitled to anything and I would think you would be married by then (maybe I'm wrong).

As for cheating clauses in pre-nups.....those are all fine and dandy but often not legally enforceable in states where there is no-fault divorce. Even in states like Maryland, where you can sue for a fault divorce for adultery, this does not diminish your legal rights to assets--nor should it.

I have lived with a bf before and trust me, I wish I had a cohabitation agreement. He's probably just been burned before.

I'm all for cohabitation agreements, especially when assets are mingled. You need your own lawyer though to look through it - get one in that country, especially, and DO NOT use his lawyer. Same with a pre-nup.

Well from what i had understood from an online search, the cohabitation agreement is just to secure his things before marriage, i dont really understand why i need it more than him? im coming to this relationship sort of empty handed, since im leaving everything behind for him. Even all of my clothes (90%) are in the closet in his house, and he calls his house our house, and a few months ago when i was still not fully ready to call his house my house he will fix me to say my house as if he wanted me to feel that its my house, i understand that its for comfort reasons and to show hey we are ready for this step, but i still dont get the whole agreement. im afraid he'll come up with something else other than that, at this point who knows.. right? :/

He said he will get me a lawyer that he will pay for. should i not use that lawyer? i know hes getting a REALLY good lawyer for himself since he was raving all about her when we met when we talked about his ex wife's divorce