My boyfriend wants me to sign a cohabitation agreement AND a prenup agreement

Please, please, please get an attorney to look over these documents. They should be balanced and protect both of you. It makes perfect sense that his investors want to see that his assets are protected. The pre-nup should acknowledge the fact that you are quitting your job and moving to be with him and you should be protected if the relationship does end. He may not like the fact that he's paying his wife alimony, but you're giving up your income for him and it will be harder for you to re-enter the workforce should you choose to (or need to) do so in the future. An attorney can explain all of these things and your options. I do not recommend going through it yourself, because you do not know what your rights are or what the likely outcome will be if a divorce or separation does occur, especially because you're not familiar with the state laws. Remember that a first draft of any type of contract is just a proposal. You may not feel like you have bargaining power but you do.

Also, just because he's paying for the attorney does not mean that the attorney works for him. You can work out an agreement where an attorney represents you but someone else pays for it. Attorneys have to be 100% clear on who their client is. If someone other than the client is paying, they need to get consent for this arraignment from their actual client. Everything has to be spelled out clearly. If it's not, or if the attorney implies that he is representing you but later comes out that he represents your boyfriend, you can contact the state bar association's disciplinary committee and make a complaint.

Thanks so much for these replies, it puts things in much better prospective, and does make me feel better about the whole situation. one thing to correct is that I am the one who thinks that he wants me to quit after signing the contracts so i wont be "homeless" he actually denies it, he says that underlaw if a woman signing a prenup without having a job, the law sees it as if she was forced to sign it and does not look good because she has no income. which to that i dont know if to believe, because everyday these things are getting signed, and not all of the people that sign it work..

It sounds like *you're* not comfortable with them, DBlondi, so I'd say it really doesn't matter what we think. Talk to him, before you make this huge change, and say, "It concerns me that you want both a prenup and a cohabitation agreement. I feel like you're betting on us failing before we've really started." Then see what he has to say.

Dblondi, you don't need advice from women on this forum. You need an international attorney. If he's a decent guy, he will be more than willing to pay for you to get one. If he balks over paying for your attorney...run for the hills.

I'm skeptical about this whole "investor" thing...something doesn't seem right about what he's saying but I'm not an attorney. Lots of people start companies and get financed / go public AND get married at the same time.

Something's up with this guy. He's getting cold feet.

I agree with @Celia.....no other words

I don't necessarily see anything wrong with a prenup nor the co-habitation agreement. I've also lived with an ex-bf and at the end, I was willing to walk away empty handed to just be done with it. A co-hab agreement would have saved a lot of time and heartbreak.

Here is what concerns me, you are asking multiple online forums for advice on if it is "right" for him to ask these things. If you are not comfortable signing a document, regardless of what it says, you have an answer. If you are concerned with what he is going to put in there, then you have bigger fish to fry and need to address the trust issues.

Say you are ok with the agreements, you just want to make sure that you are protected. Sit down now, without any outside influence and write down the needs, concerns and expectations that you have regarding the relationship and the agreements. Try addressing each of those things with him first, then bring up the fact that you NEED your own attorney to look over the documents and make sure that you are protected in the way that you see fit. The attorney drafting the agreement doesn't necessarily have his best interest in mind but, it always helps to have support in your corner. This may take the romance out of the relationship temporarily for you but, cover your ass and protect yourself. You are willing to take a big step and relocate. Be strong and establish these guidelines now so that you both are on the same page. And figure out the whole engagement thing!

From a family FULL of attorneys, I would recommend legal advice (which may have already been suggested-I didn't read the entire thread...) If you don't have a day to call an attorney (preferably family law), you can google it. I would not be terribly concerned over the asking for it, but prior to signing, it's always worth legal advisement. Especially if you have vacated everything in your life halfway around the world. Please don't send your signature to ANYONE (let alone any crucial info. such as birth, or anything which could be used to fraudulently recreate "YOU" in the states. I would not sell, or move one inch without a ring (which could help offset your costs in the event things do not work out). This sounds very shaky. But, I am a watch my back kind of girl. I leave nothing as a question mark before I proceed.

In a cohab agreement, and pre nup, you will want to include that if things dont workout between you and your hunny, then he should provide financial support for you till you get back on your feet with work or cover hour expenses to go back home and help you with living expenses back home till you get back on your feet. See what he says about that. If he says heck no! Then run the other direction. Because if he dumps you, you are on your own with nothing but the things you came here with. And believe me, when a relationship is over, its over.

In a cohab agreement, and pre nup, you will want to include that if things dont workout between you and your hunny, then he should provide financial support for you till you get back on your feet with work or cover hour expenses to go back home and help you with living expenses back home till you get back on your feet. See what he says about that. If he says heck no! Then run the other direction. Because if he dumps you, you are on your own with nothing but the things you came here with. And believe me, when a relationship is over, its over.