My Aunt said she wouldnt come if we didnt invite her children and there are no children invited. HELP!!

So let her not come. If she wants to try and extort invitaions out of you by holding her attendance over your head then why should you worry about her feelings? Maybe I sound harsh, but I think your reasoning is very sound and as your aunt she should be wanting to help you and make things easier on you, not adding stress for her own personal reasons. You're totally right, you can't just invite only her kids because she is threatening you and inviting them all would be too much. You have a right to invite who you want and if she doesn't like it then she has the right to not go. She will be the one missing out on a great time and chance to celebrate with family and be there for you but that is her choice and her problem.

That is a tough one... esp if you really want her to come.... but at the same time she should respect your wishes... I would stick to your plans. If i was in your situation i would feel obligated to invite the other children too... I would just leave it as it is.... it sounds like those boys need to grow up anyways.... if she comes, she comes, and if not then it will be her burden to carry, not yours, for not going to her niece's wedding.... It sounds like she is trying to force you via guilt to let her immature kids come along.... I believe that she will give in to your request and show up at your wedding.... without the boys.... just politely put your foot down.... good luck...

I am a bride to be and I also work at an outdoor wedding venue, I agree that weddings are not a place for a lot of children, all they do is run around and parents don't supervise their children like they should. If your Aunt loves and respects you enough she will understand your wishes and will find a babysitter for her children and if not she will be the one missing out. I would like to tell you how many of my brides put no children on their wedding invitations and guests still show up with their kids. It happened to my friend and she asked me to go let the guest know that children were not invited so I did and the guest left with her children and her feelings hurt but she knew that children weren't allowed put I guess she was testing the waters. Stick to your guns!

Good Luck

It's your wedding ... your most important day! If your aunt can't respect you wishes, then she shouldn't come. Sounds like the kids got their immaturity from their mamma!

My Brother in law also gave us the same ultimatum...guess what he or his 2 kids did not attend.

Congrats to you. Everyone is right-stick to your guns. We're getting married in just over a week and some guests surprised us with wanting to bring extra people and kids and boyfriends and girlfriends... It's your wedding, your Aunt is being very rude. It's not about her or her childern. People don't seem to understand what an invitation is all about. Just politely tell her that you have a certain amount of guests for the venue and that you can not accomodate children. If she doesn't like it, let her stay home. We didn't understand guests doing this either, it gets expensive to keep adding people. Weddings are very personal and expensive. It should be just what you and your FH want it to be. Good Luck!

I agree with everyone above. Just remember to tell her this is what you want (nicely) and regaurdless of her desission to come or not, you still love her. That gets them every time! Good Luck!

WOW, people really floor me. She is being completely selfish and immature and not at all considering YOUR feelings. What is the exact situation she's in that she can't attend without her children? Just explain to her what you wrote above - "Auntie Selfish, I would love for you to be at my wedding, but because there are so many cousins in the family, we aren't able to extend the invitation to them as well."

That's really all you can do, and the rest is up to her.

Seriously, stick to what you want. I was just at a friend's wedding and they did not put children on the invites. I couldn't even tell you how many people called and emailed her asking "I know the kids weren't on the invites, but can we still bring them?" She was too nice to say no, so there ended up being A LOT of kids at the wedding running around and it was horrible. They almost knocked over the projector showing the slide show and one kid ended up in the hospital getting stitches because he was running around and hit his head. For some reason at weddings people don't watch their kids b/c they seem to think they are in a safe environment with lots of people around, so everyone will watch them...You'll regret it more if you do allow them to be invited. Remember, it's your wedding, not theirs. It's the one day you are allowed to be as selfish as you want!

There are so many reasons NOT to include children in your wedding day celebration, none of which are any of auntie's business. Your decision is made. HOWEVER - as a mom who can't just leave my kids at home alone when I want to go out, particularly for an out of town event like a wedding, I understand auntie's dilemma. Perhaps you could forward a list of childcare agncies whose services she may want to employ for the day?

Stick to your original plan. Better to have her CHOOSE if she plans to attend (she IS invited afterall) than to have her bring her kids and hurt many other people's feelings as to why their kids weren't invited. its hard, but its life!

Happy Planning,

Susan

www.especially4youevents.com

Tell her no kids and thats it if she doesn't come she doesn't come how dare she tell you that if you don't like her kids come she won't. you don't want kids there is nothing wrong with that. she will just have to deal and if can't can't then she will miss your wedding

I have a similar situation, just my 2 little cousins are invited, becasue they are in ther wedding party. And I invited their grandparents to take them home early. It seems your aunt is being unreasonable. I would just not invite them and let her make her decision.

Isn't ti sad how some people act when you are planning your wedding?

It is in poor taste for her to suggest that she would not come unless her children are invited. This is such a common problem anymore. There is no reason people should take offense in children being uninvited, yet it comes up alot. Im a mother myself and sometimes social events like these are a good time to get out, and enjoy an evening. I come from a huge family and I ran into this problem at my own wedding. Sometimes you just have to put feelings aside and do what you know in your gut is right. It is not poor etiquette for you to invite children that are in your ceremony, this is perfectly acceptable. It seems like there is always someone who gets there feelings hurt, and you are busy enough without having to stress about this. I would try and look past it. Wishing you luck.

Here's an idea that might help your situation so your can have your Aunt at your Wedding and the kids not there, do you have any neighbors that are in high school or college age not being invited to your Wedding who might be happy to do some babysitting? Sometimes you can see if they can give a reasonable rate and let your aunt know they'll be in good hands without you having the migraine of having her kids there and no kids to interfere with anything. My dad had one of his neighbors take to his home my sister's 2 year old nephew after the ceremony since he was the ring bearer but she wanted him in pictures, and I had one of my best friends take to her mom's house my 1 year old son after her ceremony to watch until we were done with the wedding, since she also wanted my son in her pictures and there for the ceremony (his name was on the invitation, but it wasn't a child friendly venue) and I had no problem with it. I knew he would be in good hands and honestly loved having the time

Sorry about that, I loved having some quiet time with my husband at the reception. If she has a problem with it, then and doesn't like an alternative solution, then she doesn't have to come.

I totally understand adults only affair however what about if its a new born, what would you all do then? Suggest that the guest not attend?

Sheena Marie,

I recently worked for a Bride who was placed in the same scenario as you. First, let's remember, your wedding is supposed to be all about what you and your fiance desire. We all feel and acknowledge the pressures of family, however this is your day, not theirs. Standing up for what is important to you both, is essential to the success of your day. Be sure to place your needs as a couple, FIRST. It is not selfish, or self absorbed. It is what you want on your very special day. And you deserve to get what you want, the way you want it. You are paying for this event, and it is your right. Good luck navigating through these troubled waters. In the end, you will be happy and content, if you stick with your initial plan. Good luck!

SeanO

SeanOlearyWeddings.com

Ugghh why are people so sensitive about this..if they went to a casino would they bring their kids..how bout a bar..or a work party. Its common knowledge the kids dont want to be there anymore then we want them there. A wedding is an adult function, not to mention a function people spend thousands of dollars on and if you dont want kids, too bad for them. They can live 5 hrs with a babysitter. I find it annoying when im at a wedding and there are kids crawling all over the place while the parents are nowhere to be found.

We are kind of in the same situation...We haven't been told that someone wont come if we don't allow them to bring two of the kids however my FH is afraid that is what is going to happen...he's about to cave and change it and let the two come where as I want to keep it child free with the exception of our son. I just told him he needs to draw the line we have already gone over our budget and although it would be just two more people it's two more plates we have to come up with extra money that aren't even going to eat. and it is a night wedding children really don't need to be there