Monster In Laws

Agree times a million with @FilleNouvelle. You have support, leave now.

@fillenouvelle It's unfortunate how common your moms story is in some cultures. We had a variation of that in my family and so many people I know who have been abused have similar stories. It's really not that uncommon, just often hidden. That's why I was getting as passionate for OP to leave since I've heard this story before (too many times as a DV shelter volunteer and friend) and it has never ended well.

Ok why has he not stood up to them for you? From what you described, he hasn't.

ETA: I didn't scroll down- it sounds like a bad situation, I wouldn't stand for that, culture/stigma be damned.

May I ask how old you and FH are?

You are not worthless. Let's set that straight. I think you need to explain to you husband how you feel and he needs to talk to his family and put his foot down. They shouldn't be making you feel this way. Even if it is the norm in their culture it's not right. If they're really treating you this way, don't have them stay with you. I understand you're trying to be the perfect daughter to them, but not at this expense.

This is a lot to read so forgive me if I am repeating something that someone else said already... I don't know you at all but I am sincerely worried about you. As others have said, boundaries need to be set now because the decisions you make now will set up your marriage for the rest of your life. I am honestly so shocked that he said your dress is hideous. That is something you really need to think about. The reality is that your dress is beautiful even before alterations and it is exactly what you want and what makes you happy. Him saying that to you is clearly hurtful. What I find alarming is that he obviously knows that would be a hurtful thing to say to you and he completely disregarded your feelings and whether he outright says it or not he is putting his family first. Now everyone has some kind of family drama but your marriage will not last if you let this continue as it is. These people are treating you terribly and you don't deserve that. You must stand up for yourself and consult with your mother and friends - practice what you will say to him and his family so that you build your confidence. You cannot let this go or ignore it. This is the time for you to get angry and demand respect. I am sure that if you get to the point where he knows he needs to step up and be YOUR HUSBAND before their son/brother/uncle or you're out then he will. But if you let this go then time will pass, you will feel trapped and hurt, your emotions will get the best of you, and eventually you will snap which could and likely would ruin your marriage. Please let us know how things work out and that you are okay. I'm very sorry you are going through this.

Wait a minute!!

Update?

MrsWrs- I guess my point is, if she is so into her faith and the traditions that upholds, why get married when there were so many issues and uncertainty.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! You definitely do not need all this added stress before your day. I hope all the above advice helps and things get better!

My first marriage was like this. We married young and fast (stupid and naive on my part) and his family hated me because I wasn't the same culture as them. They constantly degraded me and said terrible things for no reason. We ended up getting a divorce a few months later (because of abuse but his family played a roll into that as well.)

I haven't read through the whole thread (my service is terrible right now), but I'd highly recommend counseling. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP.

I'd like an update as well. I hope things are going better for OP.

Whoaaaaa dramaaaa sorry ur going thru this

OP, can we please have an update? Is your husband in the process of getting a green card? Please leave him. I know it hurts, but I had to leave a similar situation and my life is a million times better now. It will hurt, but you can't stay with him just to avoid the heartbreak now. If you stay, your whole life will be heartbreak and That is way worse!

Is this real