MOH doesnt want to give speech!!

Ive never seen a MOH give a speech. the best man, yeah, but the MOH i think may just be personal preference

I'm stuck too. My older sister is my MOH and won't do it ): I guess you can ask the other girls who wants to do it or maybe they can all say alittle something.

Have her write it and maybe your mom or another female read it!

Yep, traditionally the only speech is by the best man. Anything else is optional.

Not all wedding have to have the MOH speak... I have been to a few who only have the best man speak...

But as you stated you can't force her to talk if she doesn't like talking in large groups.

Maybe you can ask all your BM"s to get up and do a little speech for you? Or maybe you can have your parents or if you have a brother he can give a speech?

I would have a bridesmaid do it. Doesn't have to be your "favorite." Just ask one who knows you super well and is comfortable speaking in large crowds.

I wasn't expecting my MOH to give a speech. We had only planned for our BM to give one. On the day of the wedding, my MOH told me that she had one prepared.

I sympathize with your sister about not being comfortable with public speaking. It's a lot of pressure and stress for some people and if she is really bothered by it, do you really want to put her through that?

If just the BM talks, it isn't going to be like he is only talking about your FH and not you. I'm sure he will talk about you guys as a couple, how happy you make FH etc If you really feel the need for someone from your bridal party to speak for you, I'd just ask another bridesmaid. You don't need to worry about it seeming like you are playing favorites. However I don't think it is necessary for another person to give a speech.

I think the Best Man giving a speech is sufficient. I don't know when the MOH trend started, but I've only seen it done at one wedding. Speeches are rarely that great and sitting through 2 of them. . . I've felt embarrassed FOR the speaker or couple, more often than not.

I gave my MOH (both times since this is my 2nd wedding) the option of speaking if SHE wanted to, but was relieved when she declined.

You wouldn't find me giving a speech either. I hate speaking in front of groups like that. I've declined at weddings where I was MOH as well. I don't know if the brides were upset or not. I didn't get the impression it bothered either of them.

ETA: No lie, I would totally drop out of a wedding if I was expected to give a speech. The anxiety leading up to it would send me over the edge.

Oddly enough I have to present at work and it doesn't bother me a bit. It's definitely situation dependent and no, I would not "suck it up" for a bride no matter how close we are.

I wouldn't make ANYone give a speach if they didn't want to .. MOH or BM. Paris is right, they are usually pretty bad anyway. If someone (anyone) WANTS to great, but I would never expect it, nor would I GIVE one.

This is interesting - in my circle the MOH and the BM always give a toast... it seems so awkward and backward for only the best man to speak... weird.

we also asked each of the parents that were attending to say something, but my husband's mother declined. she said she didnt want to speak in front of everyone, yet anytime you are around her, she talks non-stop. ;o)

I've never seen a MOH give a speech at a wedding. I was MOH for my mom's wedding last year and the best man (now my step brother) only gave a speech. Some people do speeches, some don't. I don't plan on having my MOH make a speech, I'm not forcing her either.

I would honestly be kind of bummed if the Best Man was giving a speech but not the MOH or a bridesmaid. Yes, of course he'll talk about both of you, but 9 times out of 10, he's closest with the groom. I want my nearest and dearest to say a few words too! But that's just me. My MOH told me she's already started working on her speech, so hopefully everything will work out.

I wouldn't make her do it because frankly, I'm one of the those people that hate speaking in from of large groups. Maybe at the end of the BM speech he could say something like, "On behalf the MOH and myself, we wish you best/happy life together/blah blah blah" if you wanted her to be part of it.

Ive always seen MOH and BM speeches....i'm in the same boat my sister said she doesnt want to, my response "too bad you are" lol that ended that problem lol

I wouldn't be upset at her or anything. Public speaking is nerve wrecking for many people and the last thing I would want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. Maybe ask the bridesmaids if anyone wants to give a speech? If not, I really don't think anyone will think anything of it. It's really not necessary.

Most of the weddings I've been to have had toasts by both MOH & BM.

However, I was MOH at my sister's wedding and had to give a toast which made the ENTIRE day up to that point miserable for me. I dreaded it so much that I couldn't sleep the night before and had a sick, nervous feeling all day until it was over with. Please don't do that to someone! Also, I'll add that I've witnessed toasts made by people who aren't comfortable in front of crowds and they're almost always awkward or uncomfortable to watch/listen to.

I'd say ask if another maid who is comfortable would want to do it. If you have 7 girls, odds are, one of them will step up!

It's interesting reading these comments, because I think every wedding I've been to in recent years has had both a BM and MOH speech. I wonder if this is another regional difference or something?

Anyway, if she isn't comfortable making a speech, don't press it. Some people just are not comfortable with public speaking, and chances are that if she's that nervous about it, the speech probably wouldn't be that good because you'd be able to tell she was uncomfortable.

I agree with some of the other ladies, ask another bridesmaid who is good with public speaking to give the speech.

I can't emphasize this enough - public speaking is number ONE phobia among adults. More people are more afraid of public speaking than heights, snakes, spiders, open spaces, flying, and everything else.

If somebody else on "your" side wants to give a speech, let them do so. In my circle it's also common that a MOH gives a speech, but if somebody else does it, NBD. It's not like people are dying to hear speeches at weddings anyway.

Omg I'm opposite here. BM doesn't want to so I'm asking my sister the MOH to do it.

His reasoning was " I don't really know u " I was like wow Um ok.

It's very common among my family and friends for both the MOH and the BM to give speeches, along with parents of the bride and groom. I had no problem with my MOH giving a speech.

But like others suggested, perhaps have another bridesmaid give a speech.