Meet and Greet/Engagement party

No one's getting confused, and also who became illiterate? People have clearly told you that what you're doing is unnecessary. You thought explaining it would help but you're just making it worse.

I'm sure neither one of our people would want to walk down the aisle and don't know who the person is. A simple HI with bar b que at the house is probably what she meant!

Your MOH only plans the bachelorette party if she offers. She doesn't have to. And funny how you think we are illiterate when your posts are littered with grammatical mistakes making them almost unreadable.

OP, Ive never felt the need to meet the GM I would be walking down the aisle with....

But a simple barbecue at the house isn't what you said. You said a meet and greet/engagement party where prospective bridal party candidates would be given a list of expectations and financial obligations that they'd be expected to meet and then given the opportunity to step down. How is that casual or simple?!? That's extortion at its finest.

ETA: You want to have a party to thank your bridal party for being your bridal party, but you will give them expectations and your MOH will list their party-related financial obligations for them at said party? If they refuse, and I wouldn't blame them one bit if they did, are you going to have them physically removed from the party since it is supposed to be their thank you?

I'm an adult. I can more than survive walking for 20 seconds with someone I haven't met.

I've done a lot more with complete strangers...

I walked down the aisle with a complete stranger at my sister's wedding 6 years ago. There was no crisis. Nobody gave a shit.

They walk down the aisle for like 30 seconds. You're near strangers longer than that at the movies or on public transportation without knowing them. They'll survive.

I was in my cousin's wedding recently, and until the rehearsal the night before, I knew nothing about the groomsman I was walking down the aisle with except his name. We did just fine.

It's weird that your planner is hosting this engagement party meet and greet. I assume you're paying for it? So it means you're hosting it..

It is way to early to ask people to be MOH/Bridesmaids. Hold off on that. If your parents want to throw you an engagement party, sure invite potential candidates, just don't tell them.

Lol op, if your planner is planning it, you're paying for it. Which means....you're hosting it. And none of your bms are throwing it... so.

Ummmmmm. My MOH met the BM at rehearsal. Not having parties before hand didn't hinder their ability to stand beside us on our wedding day.

Don't ask your bridal party this early. Wait till 6-9 months before hand. Then ask them. In private so there is no pressure. Then you can give them guidelines on dress and time to show up. Done deal

Potential candidates?

Introducing The Hunger Games: Bridesmaid Edition

You can get them all together if you want (we did a big dinner and paid for it, everyone was local) but you can't hand them a list of duties.

You can discuss dress budget and find out what everyone is comfortable with

Thanks Helena Handbasket! All I need is a positive but in a nice way answer. This is my first wedding. Everything is new! Although having a wedding planner (she's married and had arrange her wedding party of 20) along with 250 guest.. I know because I was a guest(she's my fiancé cousin) I would thought she knows what she talking about! I just asked a question. That's why I said maybe I need to go over this with my wedding planner. But thanks Helena.

Most of us are planning our first weddings...also friendors are also a terrible idea.

Lol so your wedding planner is a friendor.

FYI: this is a lot of our first weddings. You're not special there. We're all figuring it out on our own, too.

And just to nip this in the butt before it even comes up (based on your wedding planners suggestions thus far I foresee this being the next suggestion) .. honeyfunds - say no.

Oh boy, where to begin.

Oh yes, your vio.

It's hard for people to be considered illiterate when everything you keep writing is garbled as fuck. Form an actual, comprehensible sentence, and people will understand you better.

That said, the bridesmaids RESPONSIBILITIES are to show up in the dress. If YOU want specific shoes, it is YOUR responsibility to pay for them, not theirs. Likewise with hair, makeup, and nails. Suck it up, buttercup.

If they OFFER AND WANT TO help, that's fine. You should not be asking, much less EXPECTING them to take care of your shit. This is YOUR wedding to plan and execute, not theirs. Grow up. You decided to have a big wedding, now do it your damn self or pay someone, just like every other self-respecting couple.

Grow up. You talk like these poor people are supposed to be at your beck and call. News flash: nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. Nobody. Deal with it. You shouldn't even be choosing your wedding party until 6 months out. A year is WAY too fucking early, though it does give them plenty of time to bail when they see how BSC your views of their "duties" are.