Matching Bridesmaids?

Do you want happy bridesmaids? IMO let the bridesmaids help choose their dresses. You will have the final say so on what dress you like. Some brides have chosen the fabric and color and let the bridesmaids chose the dresses they like. This is very popular because it lets the girls choose a dress in their price range and a style or fit that will suit their body types. The same especially for their shoes. Being in uncomfortable shoes is no fun.

I am letting the Bridesmaids' do their own hair unless they would like to have their hair done professionally. I am also letting them do their own makeup unless they would like them done professionally. The rule of etiquette is that if you require the bridesmaids to style or have their makeup done a certain way you are supposed to pay for them.

If I was a bridesmaid I wouldn't mind as long as my hair and makeup was paid for. Ask your girls how they feel about it and perhaps make a day going to try on dresses.

I went with them to David's Bridal for their dresses. I told them the color, material, and length and let them take it from there. I felt that the elements I had control over would just ensure that they looked like they were "going the same place" even with different dresses.

I also said they could do whatever with their hair as long as I got to see it beforehand. One of my girls JUST got a new hairweave so it will be the same on the wedding day and I approved it.

I did tell them that the necklace was short pearls, earrings pearls, and the shoes are black closed toe pumps. I figure my girls can wear accessories they already have--they are pearl wearing girls, hair they chose, and a dress they like but look like a cohesive unit.

Same here! I just gave the color and length and let them choose from there....as far as hair an jewelry I havent really decided yet but I thinking of letting them choose their own as well.

I have kind of loose control over dresses(we're still deciding on if everyone will wear the same dress or not) and am buying their jewelry as their BM gift. They can do their hair and makeup however they want. Not everyone looks good in a certain hairstyle, and as long as their makeup is not super over the top I think it should reflect their style.

Honestly, treat them how you would want to be treated as a BM. I know I hate how I look with my hair completely pulled straight away from my face, and while I'd do it for my friend if she insisted, I wouldn't be very thrilled or too happy looking in photos. I would be happier doing my own hair and messing it up, than if my friend insisted on a look I hated. You should want them there because they are your friends anyway. Not because you want a group photo op.

At first I was allowing them to decide but it got nuts because one of my BM wanted to wear pants and then it just got too crazy, my only guidelines were tea length and keep with the color but they just got foolish so I took the power back, I am picking and I told them if they DON'T like it don't be in the wedding because we have been going back and forth for over a year now and still no dress so I am taking matters into my own hands,yes I want them to comfortable and I try to respect the fact that this is their money so of course I am going to try to keep it very budget friendly and I will take their feelings into consideration but the final decision is going to be on me.

I am picking out a color, fabric and letting them choose which style they want so they are most comfortable. They can choose to do their own hair and make up or have it done professionally. O know some will opt to do it but others are in other weddings too so I know it may not be affordable and that's fine with me. Actually I have two friends that are great with hair and make up and I may enlist their help in getting my girls ready. Some girls like updo's but my cousin hates her hair up, so who am I to make her wear it up with everyone else. I want them to look and feel great bc I think that's what will help them feel confident in photos.

I gave my girls the color and length we went to Alfred Angelo and I let them pick their dresses...of course I wanted to give them the "thumbs up" on the dress, but for the most part it was their decision. I gave them a color for their shoes and letting them pick. The dresses are long so I could care less about the shoes. They are wearing pearls and the ones who didn't own any already I purchased them for them. I am asking them all to go to the same makeup artist so we don't have a bunch of different looks going on. For hair, I trust that they won't do anything too dramatic so I am leaving that up to them as well.

I picked the dresses and colors (they each have a different color dress with matching trim to match my fall color theme). I bought them their necklace and earrings and they get to choose their shoes, hair and make-up and anything else. I am having a hair dresser and make-up artist that comes to our venue (the venue has a little spa on-site that we are able to use the morning of) and they can use them or chose to do their own if they like.

I only had a MOH so I was pretty loose with her because she didn't need to match anyone. I pretty much had my color choice for dress and she could choose whatever style, fabric, length dress that she felt the most comfortable in. She wore jewelry and shoes that she already had.

I did pay for her hair and makeup to be done for the wedding, but was not requiring her to. She chose her own hair and makeup style.

Now... for my brother's wedding that I'm a BM in, all 7 or whatever of us girls are wearing the same long dress and shoes (I like the dress but I'm not happy about the shoes personally). I know my FSIL loosened up about people could get their hair and makeup done wherever they wanted or DIY, but I don't know if she will end up trying to dictate a style to us. We'll see what she does about jewelry and accessories.

I gave my bridesmaids the color, fabric, and length of a JCREW line. They are all getting different styles.. which make them feel comfortable and fit their personalities. For shoes, since our wedding is on a lawn, they will be wearing jack roger flats ( super comfortable, classic, and they can wear them again!) I will be giving them jewelry... and they are all getting their hair done.. I don't care how.

Letting my bridesmaids choose their dress styles was WAY less stressful. I just want everyone to be happy and comfortable on the day.

Melissa W. I was in two weddings where bridesmaids did there hair and some looked a mess this is why that is one feature I am controlling. A s far as dresses I picked out 30 dresses the same material by Impressions and sent the list to my bm's the each sent back the number of the dress they wanted.(all there body types are different so I let them pick based on their comfort level. The will all have on the same silver shoe (to be determined). I am having my two hair dressers do everyones hair so they will be different to fit their dress but neat and professional looking. I am providing two reqired make up artist (I'm footing this cost). I have two bridesmaids that I hate their normal make up because its too much. I may be a little bridezella but my girls understand and no complaints.

I only had an MOH. I told her to wear anything she was comfy in. My laid back style fit our wedding. I gave her a silver and turqoise earrings and bracelet. While they didn't match our decor, my MOH loves silver and turqoise.

Cate has not been too demanding on her BMs. They are all wearing the same dress with sash. Because her MOH is a bigger gal, she is allowed to get straps any way she likes them. Cate also asked that they get any pair of silver shoes they would like. She is providing them with the jewelery(pearls, bling and silver). She is also providing them with a hair stylist and make-up artist. They are allowed to wear their hair as they choose. The majority are doing some up some down styles. One BM has very short hair, so she is not doing it. The make-up is not air-brush. If her BMs want airbrush, they must pay that themselves. I think that is fair enough.

Sorry! Darn double posts are a PITA.

I asked my BMs to go find a knee-length champagne colored cocktail dress, and asked them to wear neutral shoes. SO easy, their dresses ranged from $39.99 to $350 by their own choice, and there was no order deadline for me to manage. I said zero about their hair and makeup b/c honestly I just didn't care and I knew they would look great, which they did. I had very happy girls.

I'm just not into matching. Personally I think it's kind of weird when a bunch of grown women wear a uniform to a social function, down to their hairstyle and makeup. But, that's just me. Not everybody likes mismatched dresses either, it's just a preference thing.

This was my inspiration pic, and then a pic of us. The guy is my brother, who was my "MOH", so obviously even if I cared about matching in the first place, he would have skewed things a bit.

Thanks girls. I appreciate the input.

I already went with my MOH and one BM to pick out dresses. That part of the process was very laid back. I gave them a color and fabric and they tried on dresses until they found one they both agreed on. Now all my girls will be wearing that dress.

I never thought about it, but Audre made a great point on the shoes. I wouldn't want someone to pick out what my feet had to wear for the next 8 hours. I'll probably give them a color and style (black with straps or silver and closed-toe) and let them find their own pair.

What I'm mainly thinking about is hairstyle. I'd really like all my girls to have a simple up-do. I don't mind if there are minor differences between their hairstyles, but I'd like it to look something like this:

Does that work for my bridal party gifts to them if I pay to have their hair done?

I don't think that's a "gift" IMO. If you're requiring a hairstyle then I think it's really your responsibility to pay for it anyway. Plus, if you have a girl who's not crazy about wearing her hair up and then you tell her it's her gift, she might be a little miffed. Some girls are very particular about how they like to wear their hair.

PS I think those hairstyle examples are really, really adorable though. Especially #2.

I have a MOH and 1 BM in two different cities. So I told them length of dress, colour, fabric and that we decided on Alfred Angelo dresses. They got to decide on the style (one shoulder, halter, etc). I also told them black shoes.

I am paying for their hair and makeup, but don't really care if they have updos, down, etc. One of the hairdressers is my MOH's aunt, so she'll know what looks good for her.

I am choosing their dresses, shoes and jewelry. I am allowing them to wear their hair anyway they want, however, it must be professionally done at my hair salon.

Im controling nothing. I picked the dress colour, we all went together and they picked matching dresses, i din't even specify that they needed to be the same dress.

Otherwise I guess Im controling what bracelet they wear as I am giving it to them and what bouquet as I am ordering the bouquets but that's it. They are my friends cause they're my friends not cause they are pretty or arn't pretty. (but they all are so they'll look gorgeous regardless)

All I am controlling is the dress that they were. I picked the color and then picked 1 short dress and 1 long dress and we went with majority rules. Since its a long dress I honestly don't care what kind of shoes they wear and their hair/makeup is completely up to them, as well as jewelry decisions. Though I did buy my MOH of a hairpiece and a bracelet.