Married before turning 20?

What's the rush? I personally think that you grow and change A LOT in your 20s so why rush into marriage before you need to?

I think I am such a completely different person now than I am when I was 19. I can't imagine being with the person I was with when I was that age. My personal opinion is why the rush? There's so much to do to figure yourself out, why get married so early. That being said, a good friend of mine ft married young to the person she was with since they were 14. Now they're in their 30s and couldn't be happier.

@KylieC Yes actually we both work and go to school full time, and live together in my parents basement for the time being. We're currently getting our credit built up so we can find our own place before we are married.

It looks like you are planning a 2 year engagement. I would spend that time developing as individuals and working on school/career goals. Wait until about a year about before you start planning. Parents and relatives aren't always right however they do have wisdom and experience.

My parents got married At 18 and 20 and have now been married for 35 years. I don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as you two are on the same page. It will be very difficult since most 18-20 year olds aren't financially stable yet. I get that people grow a lot during their 20s, but if you've found someone you can grow with, why not get married? You just have to know that it will be difficult and both be willing to put in the effort, just like any aged marriages.

Sorry if I didn't give enough background! My FH and I really did grow up together. We met when we were 12 years old and have been best friends ever since. We will be moved out before we get married, and we pay for college completely on our own. My mom got married to my Dad when she was 18, and his parents got married when they were 20 years old. Both have been happily married for over 20 years now.

@Spazzytazi I don't feel that we are in a rush, but more that we are excited to continue to grow up together. If we weren't financially able to have a wedding then we would postpone it. But I understand that adjusting to living on our own will be different than it is now.

From a practical stand point, if you're receiving financial aid from your schools, look into how your financial aid packages will be affected if you guys get married.

Statistically speaking, more divorces happen when couples marry younger, but there are also so many high school sweethearts that spend their entire lives happily married. You guys know what's best for you. Personally, I wasn't ready to get married at that age.

If he's really the one for you, then there's simply no need to rush. Period. The end.

@Samantha G, Can you site these statistics you reference? I call bullshit.

@SamanthaG. We don't have financial aid. We make monthly payments to the college.

I married my high-school sweetheart at 23 due to religious pressure. Worst decision I ever made. I'm now 34. I know myself and have grown alot. I am so excited to marry FH.

I would wait until the stress of college is over. Wait until you both have a stable career and home life so you can begin your marriage with as little stress as possible. My grandparents lived to be 96. They met when they were 14, married at 25, purchased their own house, started a family, and died 3 months apart at 96 frickin years old. What's the rush????

Also, something most people don't think about that is a very real issue.. I learned in my family law class that the rate of abuse (financial, emotional, psychological, physical) in a domestic relationship increases in couples who are married before the age of 24. This is due to one partner depending on the other more that they would have if they had been more financially and mentally developed (i.e. independent) before entering into their marriage. This makes one or both parties more vulnerable and generally does not end in divorce, just a very unhappy and abusive situation.

Make sure you're independent before you start a life with someone else if you can help it

@Spazzytazi I really appreciate all the points that you bring up because the fact of the matter is that we do have to figure those out. As for what we want to do together as a married couple, we want to further our careers together, start a family after college is finished and we're both set in our paths. We want to get married in March of 2017, but that doesn't mean we want to start a family right away or stop enjoying our freedom as young adults. Just rather that we want to be bonded young and forever. I'm not expecting it to be easy, but I do know that whether we got married tomorrow or when we are 80 years old that we're still going to be a team.

Can I ask why you ask? To me it seems like you're having some hesitation, just wondering if that's the case.

@RingAroundTheRoushes I ask because I want to understand other perspectives. I know why I want to marry young and why I see it as a good thing. I want to understand why others see it as a bad thing or think it's being rushed. I'm curious and open to hearing the other opinions, but my wedding will ultimately be about what me and my FH want, and when we want it. (Hopefully that makes sense.)

I don't think marriage should be rushed into. There is no need to get married until you are both done college and/or are firmly established in a job. What's the hurry to be married? Also, I think it's important to live together before marriage. I think that goes for no matter what age you are. Maybe your parents, who went through it themselves, are trying to save you all a lot of stress, headache and heartache?? Maybe it's worth listening to someone who has actually been through it, rather than think you know best?

Honestly, I think it's too young. I've been with my DH since I was 16 and I was 25 when we got married. We both have grown so much since our late teens and I am so glad that we waited. There's nothing wrong with being together for a long time before getting married. Don't rush it and wait until you both are a little older.

I would like to take a minute to say I really appreciate all the opinions and questions about if this is right for me, especially at my age. So thank you everyone you have given me lots to think about and lots to discuss with my FH!