Maid of honor dropped out

SAK2SAH, well yes, carry on. People should totally have to dress in their assigned gender or risk being cast out of social situations. This is not an "attire" problem, that's what you're missing. You're missing a very big point. Gender comfort/identity>>>wedding couple preferences.

Also it's not just "bride and groom" omg.

Kayla, what was the outcome? Was it the attire or the cost, or both?

The MOH issue was the cost and the fact that she is worried about her tuition and how it could affect her ability to buy a dress and be there for my day.

@jacks, I am not going to say in every post bride/groom, groom/groom, bride/bride. So I suggest that you just don't read my posts, because my political incorrectness is just going to offend you. Sorry.

I don't think gender identity is a statement. I totally agree that bridesmaids should wear the ugly dresses if the bride picks them out for them, but a bridesmaid that feels uncomfortable in dresses because (s)he doesn't identify as a woman? That's a different situation.

Yeah, it does offend me. Everything about your stance offends me, in this instance. You don't realize that you're part of the problem, and yeah, that frustrates me. I know you're not going to be convinced, but I'm posting more for other people who may have a similar situation arise, as awareness of gender identity increases in society.

I can agree with that @ FutureMrsR. Maybe saying "making a statement" was the wrong choice of words.

@Jacks, it's really not my problem. If someone wants to dress in the gender in which they identify, that's fine, but my wedding will not be the place to announce to the world that my friend reveals their identity. Get what im saying? If I was not already aware and im very close friends, that means no one else is probably aware either. Someone else's wedding is not the time to announce something that personal.

I recommend you take a GOOD HARD LOOK at lot.

NO, SAK I can't hear you past your attitude of intolerance.

Edited even though I didn't want to.

I have a brides man but he already said he wont wear a dress. Should I kick him out of the wedding or let him wear a suit? Hmm...

For the last time, the MOH barely knows the BM and also, didn't know that the other girl had left because of that situation. So please don't assume that I'm a bigot because I don't understand why one of my closest friends didn't want to explain to me why she was so against wearing a dress even though I was the first person she came out to as a lesbian and she was the first I came out to as bisexual. Don't assume because you are asking about a topic outside of the original post question that you have all the answers.

Elphaba, absolutely. If someone who's gender is male would like to wear attire that is identified as female I would be fine with it. Especially if that person was important to me. Important enough to be in my wedding party? Hell no, I would not force them into a suit.

@Kelsey does FH/FW have a problem with that? If FH/FW has a problem with it, then yes. I would tell bridesman that you will need him to wear a dress. I am guessing you're not trying to be funny in asking me that, but that was my original statement. FH/FW SHOULD have a say in the wedding planning.

Kayla, no-one called you a bigot. I honestly think in your case that you didn't think it through with your dear friend.

@Kayla, they are calling me a bigot.

@Sak Um, what? You know you don't have to listen to everything FH says, right? If your FH told you to wear a tux, would you? Goodness..

@future Mrs r...no, I don't have to do everything fh asks or says, but I do think it's important to respect his opinion and give him a say in things that he's a part of.

If my future spouse told me to tell someone not to dress in the gender of their choice we wouldn't be getting married.

@Sak, what you're saying isn't giving him a say, it's giving him the authority to make the decision.

"If FH/FW has a problem with it, then yes. I would tell bridesman that you will need him to wear a dress."

But what if SHE doesn't have a problem with it???