Living arrangements after wedding? *UPDATE PG 4*

I couldn't imagine doing that. My fh and I had both been living on our own for awhile before even meeting each other. I'd rather focus on becoming financially independent first so you can experience married life in the best possible way. It's so worth it. Moving in to your own place after marriage should be fun and exciting.

Side note @Sarah M. - WHERE do you live that $500 is enough to get a nice 1 bedroom?!? FH and I live in central Florida and rent for a 1 BR/1 BA is close to $1000! Lol just generally curious.

Oh my I would never be able to live with FH's mother/stepdad. We get along but I would imagine it would really test all of the relationships involved. If it were me, I would say no if at any way possibly.

Also, Antonia I live in South Dakota and $500/mo would get you a nice house here (depending on the area you live in) Honestly, we just bought a house in a small town and our payment is less than $600/mo and it is a beautiful old house that has been completely redone. Depending on where OP lives it can definitely be done.

Considering this wouldn't be happening for over a year, I think it's too far out to make a final decision. Yes, it's nice to have a plan but there's no need to decide this far out!

Also, FH and I would never want to live with either of our parents after we got married. We briefly had to live with my parents when he first moved down here (for about 2 weeks before our apartment was ready) and that was enough for us hah!

I understand you're young but I feel if you're enough of an adult to get married, then you should be old enough to live on your own. Personally, I think it's a little strange when married couples live with their parents or have roommates even if it does help financially...but that's just my opinion.

Sarah & Shelby, that's amazing!!! Makes me want to move! Just another reason for my love/hate relationship with Florida lol

I think you should try to find a low cost place to rent together after the wedding - you have plenty of time to decide on a place. (And a studio apartment beats a bedroom in your in laws house, IMO). Be sure to thank them for the offer, whichever decision you ultimately make.

I think you guys should do what's best

Antonia- we have a pretty low cost of living here so I'm very thankful for that! We do sacrifice conveniences though! The nearest Starbucks is an hour and a half away! About killed me when I moved here!

Lauren, I don't think you should take that offer. Here's why: 1. You can work full time and go to school full time. (I'm doing that now) 2. If you were just going to give $500 a month to his parents for rent each month you guys might as well set up an extra account in either of your guy's names and start putting that money there. 3. Me and my fiancé work full time so we can maintain living together on our own, pay for our wedding, and save for buying a house. You have to budget and you have to prioritize what you want more. For example: me and my FH don't go out every weekend, don't indulge in fast food and eat at home about 95%of the time but once a month, and don't waste money on things that aren't in the ultimate game plan for our lives. If this is important to you, you'll do what it takes and make some different choices. Very nice offer from his parents, but no not a good idea.

Such a bad idea.

If you're old enough to get married and have a big wedding, you should BOTH be old enough and capable of supporting yourselves without parental help.

Graduation does not automatically equal having a job.

I think if you're considering having to live with your ILs, then you need to get yourselves financially stable first.

If you get along really well with your soon to be in-laws and your fiancé also gets along really well with them, then I don't think it is a terrible idea.

I'd say do whatever helps you save the most and become financially stable so you can move out on your own... I would have a backup plan though just in case things get hectic and you decide that you can't live with them anymore. Whatever you do, you don't want anything to come in between you and your fiancé's relationship, that's the most important part.

But coming from someone who moved out on my own at a very young age, (bcuz of school and work) it is extremely hard in this day and age to support yourselves, build an emergency fund, have savings and pay bills, and I wish I had an option like that when I was younger. Things would have been so much easier. We've been living together for 8 years and are extremely happy but struggling so much financially.

So ultimately, do what's best for you and your relationship.

I am getting a big alarm bell from this situation, and let me explain what it is. The fact that your FFIL is taking your "rent" money and putting it away from you is a huge warning sign for me. As an outside observer, this signals to me that he doesn't believe you know how to spend your money. Why not just offer to let you all live there for free (pay own groceries, help with chores, etc) and then let you all put your money into savings yourself? To me, this comes across as oddly controlling and would be a big warning sign about moving into their home.

^^ not named for the goddess of wisdom for nothing, Minerva

Honestly, before FH and I moved in together, we practically lived at his parents' place since he lived with them still. I didn't think it was that bad. If you're young, it's definitely something to consider, but you certainly don't need to decide now.

If it comes up, I'd say something along the lines of 'That's a very generous offer, but we're just not sure where we'll be in a year. Maybe we can discuss it at the beginning of next summer when we have a better idea of things.'

I actually lived with my in laws before they were my in laws because FMIL knew i didnt want to move back in with my parents and i hated my living situation. My advice to you is that as long as you like your in laws you should be fine, it can get a little awkward at times but you learn to laugh it off. Id say go for it

If He is looking for an answer right at this moment you can always use one of my answers for my FIL's. I have had to use this a lot with the wedding planning as they have many ideas that we should do. i usually tell them that as of this moment i cant see anything wrong with that but because it is so far away i cant say what may change before that. that way you and you FH have more time to discuss it and you don't directly tell his parents no right away.

As for as it being a good idea or not. I personally do not think that living with parents is a good idea, if its absolutely necessary then you deal with it but i have known many couples that have tried to do just that and it puts a strain on their relationship.

It's pretty far from now to give a def answer...anything could come up btwn now and then like a great job opportunity...anything. I also do not think it's a bad idea because it is similar to my current situation. If someone is willing to help I would take the help but also be mindful that this is their house and they may have rules in place so that you are not disrupting their schedules and what not...ask questions go into the dinner with an open mind but ask what if questions

Where we live rent would be around $900 to $1000 a month. But we've made a spreadsheet of expenses and we think it's doable once I can work full time. The only reason I won't be working full time during my senior year is because I'm taking 5 classes in the fall and working two part timeish jobs, and then I student teach in January and that's basically a full time job on its own, but without the pay. But I think we'll revisit the topic and give a firm answer next summer because sooo much can change in a year. Thank you everyone for your thoughts!! It's been really helpful to hear different opinions.

I am a teacher too and you're right- there is no way you can work while student teaching! I think you're wise to think on it and revisit this next summer when you are closer and see what your situations are then!

Take the deal! You'd be investing in your future if the rent was put into savings for you later. Also, if you have a child you'd have help on hand. My friends live with their in laws before marriage and after and welcomed a baby in the house. My girlfriend loved the extra support. As long as you can set some boundaries and rules of the place beforehand. Of course this isn't permanent you can move out if it doesnt work out.