KWR: People's comments on your Marriage/Wedding

I have a cousin that just keeps saying "We are waiting for more information."

We just barely got engaged and haven't even set a date yet! Not that big of a deal, I know, but pressure!

Crazy FMIL. She had 2 boys and she is dying to plan a wedding...complete opposite of who I am. After having a couple meltdowns, my FH decided to deal w her. Didn't do much but now I can ignore her

I love my mother. I really do. But sometimes she just says things...

This week, while our ceremony details were completely up in the air because of a miscommunication with our priest: "Well, it could be worse. The groom could not show up."

Um...thanks, mom.

She means well. But sometimes she says things without thinking.

I was told by my "friend" that she didn't understand why I was thinking about getting special keepsakes for my mom and fmil when "you are not having a real wedding".

I'm getting married in the courthouse and it is a real wedding.

My favorite is "the wedding doesn't make the marriage ya know." Or "do you want a marriage or a wedding?"

I just brush it off and move on. These are people at work who only know I'm engaged because they see my ring.

@Elphaba-knowing a little about your story, I am sorry that was ever said to you!

@Svet-that girl is disgusting and a vile human being

I have a coworker that tells me I need to get a personal trainer so I can fit in my dress... I'm a size 8... she told me there's no point in getting thank you cards since no one will give me anything... etc etc. I hear ya girl. Keep your head up!

@Elphaba Holy shit. That's straight up cruel. I'm so sorry his family is so shitty!

You're all making me feel a lot better. I just feel like all the older friends I have want to tell me about their failed marriages, which I find to be a bizarre reaction. Advice, I don't mind. Negativity to marriage at all is a bit unsetting.

Not a question, but a remark I always get from some of my family members. "You're getting fat, you need to lose weight to fit into your dress!" Really?!?! Sorry I'm not 98lbs anymore. I'm 5'4" & 123lbs, I think the extra weight looks good on me. Plus, I can actually find clothes that fits me now. I've learned to smile & ignore all comments.

The first time I saw them after our engagement, my step-FMIL asked me in front of the whole family 1- if I'm taking his last name 2-when we're having kids and 3-how old I am.... Not. Your. Business.

I haven't had anyone make rude comments about my wedding yet. But they've made comments about how my FH proposed. We went on vacation with my family on a Disney Cruise and then spent one day in Disney World. He proposed on the last day of the cruise. He and my dad had scheduled a family photo shoot and during the our couples shoot he proposed then. So it's all on film! Which I think is really nice. But more than one person has said that he should have done it in Disney World or he should have done it privately. My best friend actually told me that I should have turned him down because he didn't propose in front of Cinderella's Castle!

@Alex I actually have gotten some comments on the proposal, so I've stopped telling people how it happened. I LOVED it-- he proposed on a walk on the beach on vacation. But the thing is, as long as you're happy, who cares what other people think. I love my fiancé, vacations, and the beach, so I think it was perfection.

During a bridal expo, a photographer stopped us to try and sell himself. And then he goes "she's WAY out of your league" to my FH. And we kind of just giggled because I guess he was trying to flatter me but it just made me uncomfortable. And my FH didn't appreciate it either.

For the record, he is attractive ! The guy was trying to joke around but it was unappreciated.

Not exactly a question but I'll be asked how old I am after I mention that I'm engaged, and their reactions are like WHAT?! That's so young! Really.. 23 is young? I just look at them with a WTF face and walk away. I know people that has gotten married at 18.. and some that just got married at 40.. what the fuck does age have to do with anything? It's 2017.

I hate the she's spending all your money comments my FH gets. It's super annoying they assume I'm broke and he's paying for everything. I love my mom to death but she started with the weight comments soon after I got engaged. She even offered to pay for Jenny Craig so I could get help.

@Elphaba I remember the posts you have made that describe the issues you've had with your husbands family. I'm glad things are getting better for you and that his mother has admitted regret in her behavior. No one deserves what you went through.

When I told my mom we were getting married she asked "oh, are you sure you want to? do that?" Yes, I'm sure, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Then she asked "where are you getting married? Is it even legal in Michigan?" Yes, mom. Where have you been living, under a rock? "We" (s-s couples) have been legally able to be married everywhere for almost 2 years now.

Oy @KitnKaboodle reminding me of why I sometimes hate working as staff at a law firm :p. That being said, I wouldn't have commented. I'm taking FH'S last name - even more entertaining because we met at aforementioned law firm and were pretty private about our relationship but for key personnel. There are a few associates who will be none to pleased with me once they realize he's off the market.

My boss's wife found out that my wedding is in a barn in October. Her response was "Soooooo will there be hay rides? Pumpkins and apples everywhere? Are we supposed to wear jeans?"

Uhhhh A. it's a wedding, not a fall festival. B. Wear whatever you want. My job is to show up in a pretty white dress and marry my handsome man in a suit. I honestly don't care what anyone else wears as long as they're happy and having fun.

ETA: The only other questions we've been irritated by so far are the baby questions. "How long are you going to wait? You know there's a window for babies, don't let it close!" "Sooooo can we look forward to you bringing a new bundle of joy to Christmas 2018?"

Ummmm whyyyy is that anyone's business? FH and I don't have a baby plan. Right now we are actively preventing conception, but after we are married we will not try to or not to. If it happens it happens, and if it doesn't it doesn't. We already co-parent his beautiful daughter. I'd love to have more, but I don't see the point in stressing over it. What will be, will be..

There are some people in our circles that don't believe in marriage, which I totally understand. But I've gotten comments like "I can't believe someone we know is getting married!" As if I'm a lesser member of the group because of it. Or, worse, not a real feminist.