Jack and Jill

I did listen to the advice in my last thread, i asked if i was getting a deal and if i should get a new planner. im not going to get a new planner. this thread i was just asking if anyone here has done this and it doesnt seem like anyone has

You've been engaged to four years. How TF have you saved nothing for this wedding? Elope. Save your family from having to pay for you to be a princess for a day.

I've laid it all out for you below:

-Weddings are expensive and you have to pay for it by yourself in it's entirety unless someone graciously, and of their own volition offers to help

-Asking for money in any which way or form, be it paid admission party, cutesy poem or any other method is tacky and gross.

-You may not think your friends and family mind, but stick around here long enough and you will see lots of posts about people who have gone to shitty weddings, or had wedding costs passed onto them as guests, and let me tell you, people hate it.

Put on your big girl pants and plan the wedding you can afford, leave the stranger begging to kids trick or treating at Halloween.

.

No we have not done incredibly rude parties where we have our guests pay for our totally optional party.

Do you think that these tacky money grab wedding and showers are why RSVP numbers are so low or difficult to get a commitment? I feel like guests are just getting so annoyed by delusional brides that think it's ok to ask them to fund their wedding, that they no longer look forward to these celebratory occasions.

I dont understand why everyone is so mad and calling me a troll. someone doesnt do things the way you would and that means you can treat them however you want?

You are talking about treating your guests poorly. That makes us upset. There are lots of different ways to do things, but you must treat people properly and there is an accepted way to do that.

Getting anyone to pay for your wedding, besides you and your FI is not on the list

Your wedding is not a charity, thus you do not get to throw fundraisers.

Who even thinks this stuff up?

Adults take responsibility for their own entertaining. Or they don't entertain.

And please don't ask your 'friend the planner' to help you with this one....

How about this?

No one should be paying for your wedding besides you and your FS.

If you want to come off as rude, go ahead with your idea.

If you want to be kind and a good host, don't make people pay for your wedding.

My coworker is doing it and is charging $60 per ticket and i havent heard anyone talking about her even behind her back

They are. I promise. That is such a shitty thing to do to guests.

Charge your guests for the privilege to be in the presence of the bride and groom? No thanks.

60 dollars a ticket?! Better be a nice dinner and some open bar shit

YOU. ARE. A. GROWN. WOMAN.

You pay for your own optional party!!

Idk what she is doing for food but i know the bar is a cash bar. if you are raising money for a wedding its not like you can afford an open bar for a jack and jill

Melissa, I'm sorry, but...

1) You asked your friend for help planning your wedding and you're only *considering* paying her.

2) In relation to the above, you said you'd get her something and tell her she definitely doesn't need to get you anything, but then proceed to ask about having people pay to get into a Jack and Jill party. So, she doesn't have to get you a gift, but you're going to charge her entry to this party?

3) You said you've been engaged four years, but you are looking for ways for others to fund your wedding.

Forgive me, but it's all a little far-fetched to me, based on what you've told us between this post and the other post. I'm just calling it how I see it. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but there's too many trolls on WW; you never know.

Listen, I am a "baby bride" at 23. I've been engaged since 2016. We planned on a four year engagement, but we've managed to work our asses off to save, keep ahead of bills, etc. and managed to move our wedding date up a year. And this includes a time period where unforeseen health expenses came up due to my health.

Your wedding and the Jack and Jill party should not be treated as fundraisers. The only people responsible for funding your wedding are you and your FI. If people want to help pay, great! However, it should be because they want to and they offered to, not because there's an cover charge for the Jack and Jill party.

It's expensive to go to weddings for guests, between travel costs, attire, gifts, etc. It shouldn't be made anymore expensive for guests than it already is.

You're hosting them and should so properly. Everyone can be a good host regardless of the size of their budget. Everyone here has great advice to do so and we're all working with individual budgets.

We're trying to help, but it's hard with the pushback of, "I know my family and friends, you don't."

We're trying to help you make choices that follow good hosting. Seriously, ask questions. There's a variety of weddings being planned and weddings that have happened; WW can help.

Omg don't do that. Cash bar after paying $60 just to enter a party? That is so incredibly rude.

Congrats on the new avatar, btws. Double rings tend to make people think troll.

$60 A TICKET?!

Nope. That's the cost of FH and I's sushi dates.

That's absurd.

I could see this being a thing a long time ago in a small town like someone said, but nowadays it seems totally silly and unnecessary to me.

If people want to donate or fundraise for your wedding, I don't believe it should be requested but gifted. Like any shower, it's not up to the bride or groom to decide.

The reason we havent saved is cause we got engaged and had kids really young so we had other expenses at the time. after all that time i think it is time to get married and have a wedding that my and his whole family has been waiting for for years, no matter how we have to pay for it

OMG. Not a chance would I be paying $60, really $120 for FH and I to attend an event like this. Plus paying for drinks?!

Even if you were only charging $40 pp to go to this, I would be expecting some sort of entertainment, and real food- otherwise I'd gladly take our $80 and treat ourselves to an actual night out.