Is this a lot to ask of our guests?

Something I figured out just recently.....every wedding is a 'destination' wedding for some of the guests unless they all live locally. If you have 20ish guests, you can easily find beach houses, condos and ocean front properties to rent all along the Jersey and Delaware shore, and after labor day, they are really affordable for both you and them.

Have you checked out any smaller inns? I'm getting married at a small inn that's very off the radar (on the West coast), so perhaps you can find a smaller place that's within budget, can accommodate your smaller guest list (or has more accommodations near it), and people can vacation how they want.

The vacation home idea is also a good one.

Sorry to keep adding more stuff - I'm super excited that there's someone else around here with a similar family situation.

I'd be super excited to plan a wedding in FL. I know you probably wont want to do it AT Disney but I can tell you that all of my FH family just keep telling me how when they come to the US, they want to somehow make time to visit Disney.

Pan-that is actually a great question. I will call them tomorrow and ask what our other options are so that our guests are not obligated to make a commitment so far in advance.

So if that were the case and my guests were not required to pay so far in advance, do you guys think $170 per person per night for all inclusive is too much to ask? Do you think we should still consider this resort as an option if our guests do not have to pay in advance, or is this still just too expensive?

Tatyana-it is definitely good to know someone else is in the same boat! I am actually a HUGE disney fan, and so is my family (though my fiances family really isnt at all) but i wonder if i could find an affordable venue in orlando? There is so much to do there, even if it isnt AT disney world...

I would. I would make it optional though, because there are always places cheaper but overall it's not a bad price as long as they had more time to pay and there was no minimum on the number of days. $300 a month is almost 1/4 my monthly pay right now so it would have worked as long as you didn't have friends/relatives as poor as me lol But most people have a few.

Ok, so when I began reading your post, what I got was that you were asking if it is ok to ask your guest to come up with $170 a night 8 months in advance at an all inclusive resort so that you could get a deal on your wedding. But upon further reading, I now understand that you are saying that you have guest coming for your wedding from all over and they will need a place to stay and you found an all inclusive resort that costs $170 a night and because some of them are from out of the country, an all inclusive might make it easier to not have to figure out the money situation for food and extras and as a bonus, if you have 20 or more guest take advantage of the deal, you won't have to pay for your wedding ceremony. Only problem is, they want the money for the rooms 8 months in advance, now how do we think your guest might feel about a deal like that? See how different the two are. Whatever you decide to do, IF you decide to go that route, be careful how you put it to your guest.

Honestly, if I were invited and had to pay this far in advance, I would send a "sorry, I am unable to attend" RSVP.

A "free" wedding, while your guests pay up front = tacky.

Rowena, that is exactly what the situation is. We always loved the idea of all inclusive so that it would be easy for our guests coming from so far, but being restricted to having the wedding on the east coast of the US, this was the only resort along those lines we could find. I am so frustrated with the resort for asking that of our guests. Luckily, with our wedding party so small, it is ONLY our very close family and friends, and all of them we are comfortable talking to, but it would still be difficult to ask every one of them their opinion on where we are hosting it. It is my fiances family who is coming from england and south africa, and he was the one who really likes the all inclusive idea for them, but we are both upset with what the resort is requiring for the payment of the rooms...

Are you sure you want to stay in the Florida area? What about North Carolina/South Carolina? They have some great beaches and you would probably be able to find a house or two for rent which would accommodate your guests. Just some ideas.

Like i said, only the ceremony would be free, we are still paying for a reception. We have 30 people regardless of where we host it (those 30 are people we know would come no matter what bc it is very close family and friends), so this was just a great idea since our guests will have to pay for their accomodations somewhere here no matter what. I am not asking my guests to pay for the wedding, we are still hosting a reception. This was just a fun location and an easy money solution for our guests coming from out of the country to take advantage of. I could have worded my original post better to explain all the details, but is a tough situation to explain all in one post with limited characters!

Again, I see a red flag in that, your guests pay up front, 8 months ahead, and you get a free wedding. So, so not cool.

Cirizarry-that is not a bad idea! Do you know any specific beaches or. Locations in those states that i should look into?

Actually.. i don't think you are asking too much... as they are traveling already and it would be all included which is what they would have to do anyway. In most major areas, booking a large group of rooms does take a bit of a notice and paying at least a deposit up front.

From my perspective: I am paying for my venue. For my wedding and reception, plus another venue for another reception. So say I have budgeted $14,000 for that. How about if you pay for the twenty guests in advance to the venue? Then if people wanted to stay there they could re-imburse you for their room. The way I look at it, your guests shouldn't pay for any of your wedding, only their accomidations.

Kathy-i definitely see where you are coming from, i just want to clarify that i am not looking to get a free wedding ceremony out of our guests. My fiance and i wanted to find an all inclusive resort for our guests from the beginning so that those coming from out of the country would not need to worry about additional spending money for food and alcohol, but as i said, we are limited to the US east coast. We looked up this resort, loved it, called about pricing, and then based on the amount of guests we would be having stay at the resort, they offer this package. I completely agree that it is ridiculous to ask our guests to pay so far in advance for their accomodations, which is why i wanted everyones advice. It is hard when you find the venue you have been looking for, and then the resort drops that bomb on you...very disappointing.

@ Lauren M, since your wedding is a little over a year from now, is there a way to perhaps help your guess pay in advance and then be reimbursed closer to the wedding? Since the people you are asking are very close, maybe it won't be such a problem at least pitching the idea to them although approximately $510 per person can be a lot of money for say a family of 4 or 5. Put it out there and see what happens but I'd leave the "free ceremony" perk as a bonus to booking and not so much as an upfront point as you first posted here. Who knows, you might be surprised. but I would also come up with a plan "B" and maybe even a plan "C" :-)

Christie-thank you for your understanding of the situation.

Jolene and Rowena-it is definitely a possibility that my family could front the money for everyones accomodations (since our guest list only consists of people definitely coming to the wedding no matter what) and then our guests could just reimburse us personally when it gets closer to the date of the wedding. This is something my fiance and our parents could discuss as an option since we both really love the venue.

Hmm.....well really the issue is that you sound like you are making the accommodations decisions for your guests albeit well intentioned. What if they have other plans for their time in the US? Like visiting other friends or family while in the country? And don't forget your US guests. Some will probably be able to just spend one or two nights and go home anyway. If you're going to front the money and than have them pay you back, it'd probably be easier and possibly cheaper to just pay for the ceremony. The ceremony is usually the cheapest part of the wedding, so in paying for the reception you're already paying for the bulk of it.

Look into some cruise options out of the east coast. Cruises are basically all inclusive, too, and usually let your guests make payments on their vacation. Also they could determine the room type that best fits their budget. You could still have a beach wedding set up by the Cruise company. Royal Caribbean has some great options.