Is this a lot to ask of our guests?

No one knows what could come up in the 8 months prior to your wedding, so yes, asking them to pay for your wedding in full so far ahead of time is too much. And being that having those people there causes the wedding to be free for you is basically like asking them to pay for the wedding.

There are lots of venues in FL, you can still do the DW, but there's not way that I would be willing to pay for that in full so far ahead of time. Have you looked at other places?

It's tough to plan that far ahead, honestly.

Definitely, at first I thought $170 per night isn't terrible (I work at a regular full service hotel and it costs more than that) but paying 8 months in advance is too much to ask, especially since they all have to buy plane tickets and things like that. Do you have more than 20 VERY very wealthy family members that may want to do it, and the rest could just play it by ear until the date is closer and stay at a regular hotel?

Yes it is. You should be picking a venue you can afford. If you can't afford that venue and need that deal to have your wedding there than find something else. 20 or more guests is a lot of guests that you are expecting to pay $510 per person on top of travel expenses. If you have the balls(I wouldn't) to explain to them, and accept whatever answers people give or accept some of your guests opting not to come to your wedding than go ahead. You only need 10 couples I guess, but I would not go to a wedding where we had to pay over $1,000 8 months before upfront. You would need to be sending your invites out now so people could save.

I have honestly heard of people having weddings at resorts, but not of anyone requesting people stay a specific amount of days, and I would feel weird telling people to book for 3 days because I want a free wedding.

I agree, asking your guests to put out money 8 months prior is a bit too much.

We travel yearly to a tropical destination, when we book a vacation through our travel agent, we pay for the flight. We don't pay the remaining balance until about 60 days before we are scheduled to arrive. Also, we purchase "Cancel for Any Reason" travel insurance just in case things come up.

Contact a travel agent and consider booking through someone that doesn't require full payment at the time of booking(apple vacations, funjet vacations, etc).

We have some great vendors on WW....Annie P is a vendor on WW who is a travel agent. Give her a shout out. Perhaps she can help you book a DW in Punta Cana, Mexico or even the venue you are considering without having to pay up front 8 months in advance.

Nancy is also a vendor that does weddings in Florida, perhaps she can help you to.

Good luck!

I have looked at TONS of venues on the east coast (we need to keep the wedding in the US for other personal reasons). The reason that i liked the idea of the all inclusive is so that the people coming from so far could just pay a flat rate and then not have to worry about how much food and alcohol money they would need, especially since they are converting to dollars and some have never been to America and may not know how much extra to bring. I think that $170 per person is a great deal considering it is all inclusive, and all of my guests (we will have about 30) will definitely need to stay a minimum of three nights somewhere since they are coming from so far. I am very frustrated with the fact that the resort wants me to ask my guests to pay so far in advance, and i dont know if there is any room to work with this because otherwise it would definitely be our venue, but I am uncomfortable asking people to pay so far in advance and it makes me sad because it may be a deal breaker..

Yea, the destination part isn't really an issue since everyone is so far anyways..but it would be better to let them try to find cheaper lodging if they wanted to given the expensive trip it will likely be for flights..if they want to stay there then that's fine..maybe just have people you know for sure will go like parents, siblings, bridal party etc know about that 170 rate.

That would mean people would have to pay $1000/per couple not too long after christmas, I would only pay that much going to a wedding for my immediate family or my closest bff and even then it would be hard

Plus they have to pay for airfare

You're uncomfortable asking people to pay that far in advance, you only have 30 guests to begin with, so odds of hitting your 20 people that far in advance don't look good, so why not move forward with your search?

I get that it's all inclusive and whatnot, but that's not helpful if I drop $1000 now and end up needing to replace my air conditioner or my transmission before your wedding. And should that happen, people are likely to be upset with you, causing unpleasantness.

Do a non-inclusive resort or venue in FL, allow your guests to make up their own mind about how much they want to spend on what, and allow them all to be within their budgets.

Where on the east coast are you ?

Lauren, we're pretty much in the same boat. My FH is from South Africa and immigrated to England before he came here so we will also have family from the U.S., South Africa, and England - as well as a few other countries on my side. We selected a place that was close to where we live so that we could give all of those visiting guests a glimpse into what our life is like and will try to take them sightseeing and just show them our favorite places if they arrive the week before the wedding.

They're already paying $1200+ for the flight from South Africa, so we may even try to rent a huge house for everyone to stay in, so I think expecting people to pay that much for accommodation so early is too much for people.

I also should clarify that we will still be paying for a reception, just the ceremony is free. The reception quote was extremely resonably priced and in our budget but, no, i dont feel like i am asking people to pay for my wedding, it is just a package that they offer, and since we wil definitely have no less than 20 people there, the package was just a great option. People are going to have to pay for their accomodations somewhere in the US no matter what, i am just trying to find the easiest, most enjoyable place for my guests to come to...outisde of how far in advance they are asking my guests to pay (which my family MAY be able to front some of the money for), is $170 per person per night an outrageous amount for them to have to pay for an all inclusive resort?

That is a lot of money to ask from your guests to pay in order to attend a destination wedding. Particularly, since it doesn't include airfare, they have to stay for a minimum of 3 nights and they have to pay the amount 8 months before the actual date. Our wedding was considered a "destination wedding" by most of my family (many flew from Florida, NC, CA and Puerto Rico) and the majority only stayed for 2 nights. At the end of the day you do what you want, but take into consideration that out of your 30 guests only 1/2 may show up, which defeats your purpose of having the wedding at the AI in the first place.

Here's my thing with that -- how do you know that's what THEY want? I can tell you for me, yes, that's a lot of money. That's where I am right now, and that's where my priorities are.

I'd say, if you can pay for the ceremony and have guests pay for their accommodations at their leisure, then that's a much better bet.

You guys definitely have made some great points. Finding a venue has just been so exhausting and stressful and this was finally one i loved and was ready to just make the decision. It is kind of too bad that they are requiring this from our guests otherwise it would really be a great option i think. We live in Atlanta and neither of us want to have our wedding here, we want to find somewhere more along the lines of a vacation for our guests (preferably a beach location in florida) and at a budget of about $6000, this is proving to be quite difficult...

Like I said you would need to let everyone know now so they could save. That would still only give them 4 months to save before they had to pay the resort. It also might be a bit unrealistic if you only have 30 guests, because if 15 can't come up with the money in 4 months assuming they all RSVP'd yes which is pretty rare than you'd be out of luck anyway. $1,200 plus tax is a lot to save in 4 months. They'd need to save $300 a month, and that's a lot even if you can afford it but are trying to save for something else too. Than they'd need to save for travel.

Lauren, are you looking to be on the beach? Does it matter if it's on the east or west coast of FL?

If you're willing to wait a few more weeks, you might be able to get some awesome deals in beach towns all along the east coast. Once the kiddies go back to school, we start vacationing! We've gotten super expensive rooms at 1/3 the price in the early fall or late spring in Cape Cod which tends to have ridiculous prices during the summer. I know that this is also true for places in Maine and the Jersey Shore (not the bad kind) so it's worth a look at how far along the Atlantic coast that'll be true for.

Here's a place that does beautiful weddings: http://www.orleansinn.com/Wedding.htm. Sorry to plug - I just love the New England charm.

We need to stay on the east coast, and preferably in florida, due to some elderly relatives that cannot travel far. We want to have our wedding next september/october so that we are not in peak season. I have gotten quotes from about 11 resorts/locations in florida and all (once all is said and done) have been above our budget, except for club med . I guess i better get back to the search, ughh i really hate that trying to pick a great venue for us and our guests has been so hard. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!

How much extra is it for the ceremony? Because I also think your best option to have it there would be to pay for the ceremony so your guests could pay for accommodations at will.