Is this a lot to ask of our guests?

Honestly after reading everyones responses on here, i feel like i should just rule this option out, or at least get back to the search and try to find another option. Planning a destination wedding for people coming from out of the country is hard and stressful...but i hope i find the venue that is right for us, and maybe this option is just too much to ask from our guests...i really wish i could afford a wedding planner to help me find the right venue, that would probably make this a lot easier! Haha

I've known friends who have gotten married on an AI resort, but guests weren't "required" to stay there and there were other lodging options nearby.

Can you negotiate that 20 guest minimum? I see no problem whatsoever if you want to have your reception at that resort. And you can send STDs at the year mark with an insert about their option to book rooms at that rate and time. If people want to do it, great, but if they want to stay at the nearest La Quinta it should be their prerogative. I just think it's really risky to make your wedding plans contingent on what other people do. You really have no control over that.

Honestly if you're paying for the reception AND they require a 20 guest 3-night stay it doesn't seem like you're getting that great of a deal...? But maybe I'm missing something. I didn't read the whole thread. Sorry.

I think your fine with the resort. I personally would be happy if I were invited to a wedding in another country and the Bride & Groom were thoughtful enough to find a beautiful all inclusive. Assuming AI includes my booze - that's a FANATASTIC deal. Stop & think about it - a room in FL averages 100 then to eat & cocktails it's another $50 per day. And that is on the cheap end - crappy hotel & eating at Denny's. So assuming the room is knocked out & it includes Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner & Alcohol - I'd say book it now.

BTW - how much are they charging for the ceremony? I'd budget that into my costs just in case you don't get the 20 person minimum.

Lauren - In NC you could check out the Outer Banks area as well as Wilmington and Cape Fear. The following beaches are in those areas: Cape Hatteras National Seashore, Bald Head Island, Emerald Isle and Wrightsville Beach. In SC my favorites are Folly Beach, Myrtle Beach and Charleston has some great beaches as well. I've rented houses for about 8 people on vrbo.com but you could check out local B&Bs or small hotel chains to see if they could block rooms for you. I know you said that you can guarantee that all 30 guests will attend because they are close family and friends but the reality will probably be different. We only invited close family and friends and we were surprised at how many declined (health, money, other engagements). We even provided hotel credits to our closest family members in order to make it easier on them and it only worked for 1/2 of them. You may very well have all of your guests attend but I wouldn't count on it.

I totally understand what you're going through. Many of our guests came from all over the world too.

But I think this resort is actually a bad deal although I understand the sentiment behind AI. If you have a couple, they will be paying $340 per day. Using Marie's calculation, they could have a room somewhere else for $100 a day. That leaves $240 for food and drinks, and that's plenty for the majority of people.

I know it's stressful, but try finding a place where you can offer some options to your guests and where they don't have to pay 8 months in advance.

Before making your decision, I think it could be productive to talk to the venue and see where there is room to negotiate and whether there are other options/packages available. Since you love the venue so much, I wouldnt write it off just yet.

Like others have said, 8 months is a lot of lead time to make that large of a financial commitment. Would the resort refund the $$$ if some of your guests suddenly had to cancel? From my experience, even people who are "definites" may need to pull out at the last minute for unforeseen reasons. My closest cousin had every intention to come to our NJ wedding, from CA, but she will be 8.5 months pregnant so no flying for her. Also, one of my aunts had a series of unexpected medical complications this year. She's only 50, so we didn't expect this to happen. Understandably, it's unlikely that she will be able to come.I don't mean to sound like Eeyore...just trying to prevent you and your guests from getting in a sticky situation down the road

LOL Mrs. S - I'd never stay in a hotel that is 100 bucks - yep I'm a snob. Minimum 4 stars so anything like that starts at $250 - and my bar tabs start at $50. So the $170 pp would be a great deal for me & FH and we haven't even eaten yet. That's just a place to sleep off the booze LMAO

I understand many people don't roll like me & FH but it's also a wedding so I'd be annoyed if my hostess had me fly over only to stay in Motel 8 & eat at Micky D's/Denny's/Golden Coral Buffet

That's a bit much. in 8mths people switch jobs, find out they're pregnant, become hospitalized. 3 mths 4 mths maybe.

Right, Marie, so am I :-) But or our wedding we managed to get a deal for our guests at $79 per room in a 4 star hotel. Our venue had a deal with them, then we negotiated a discount and voila. $350 rooms for $79.

I dunno - I'm still doing the math in my head and it still sounds like a good deal assuming the restaurant is quality & it includes the alcohol. But again this is based on me & FH personal tastes on where we like to dine & how much we drink. So if you're cool with chain food and aren't big drinkers than yeah $170 pp isn't a good deal at all. But like I said me & FH - that's a steal LOL

And even if it's off by say $20-30 pp, in my mind it offsets the costs of having to rent a car and the convenience would be worth the extra $ so I don't have to figure out where to go to eat & drink.

Right, but the whole point is that guests should have the option of deciding that themselves. Those traveling from Europe and South Africa will spend major $$ on tickets, so they should have the option to choose from more or less expensive hotel options.

I psuedo agree - Yes we want our guests to be comfortable but at the same time Brides & Grooms are not travel agents. There comes a point where the the Bride & Groom should be able to make decisions without having to think about every single guest... Guests need to take some ownership as well. If you can't afford the wedding resort, I really don't think its the Bride's responsibility to change her venue or to come up with alternatives to meet everyone's budget. What I do think is reasonable is for the OP to have the wedding at a venue of her choice but have the $ budgeted to cover the cost of the ceremony in the event that 20 or more guests don't book rooms there. I think it would be reasonable to state two alternate hotels in the area. Expedia & Priceline are global so guests in S. Africa & Europe can certainly book rooms from afar within their budgets.

That is alot of money to ask for upfront most destination weddings ask for a deposit in advance especially if they have to pay for airfare which can be pricey also. I suggest calling their bluff and find somewhere else that will provide better accomodations for your guest.

@Lauren, I think the suggestion of keeping the venue, budgeting for the ceremony and not having to ask guests to front that much money so far in advance is your best bet.

One thing though, have you actually been to the venue? Be sure to do that before ANYTHING, pictures can be deceiving, and make sure the service, etc. is up to par before going with it.