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Kathleen
Beginner February 2013

Is it weird to not have a reception after the wedding?

Kathleen, on February 4, 2012 at 10:24 PM Posted in Planning 0 22

I have been struggling to find peace in deciding how to spend our budget. We are looking to have about 150 people with a $10,000 budget. We have talked about not having a reception after the ceremony or having a closed reception with family and the wedding party. Has anyone heard of this? Is it realistic to have a decent reception costing $15 a person?

22 Comments

Latest activity by LaDonna, on January 5, 2019 at 6:15 PM
  • FMC
    Master June 2012
    FMC ·
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    Hmmm. I think it's bad form to invite some to the ceremony but not to the reception. Maybe change the time to where you don't need to offer a full meal. Maybe a desert reception?

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    It is considered rude to invite people to the ceremony and not provide them with at least some sort of reception. However, if you have your ceremony at a time that is not a normal meal time, your reception can be as little as cake and punch. And you should be able to do that for less than $15 a person.

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  • Kelley
    Super May 2012
    Kelley ·
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    You have a $10,000 budget? That's definitely more than $15 a person. A dessert reception like fmc is a great idea. Or maybe brunch. There are plenty of things you can DIY.

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  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    $15 x 150 guests is only $2250. That leaves $7750 in your budget. Why such a low cost per person? Where is the rest of that money going?

    I agree with the others, it is very rude to invite people to a ceremony but not the reception. But cake/punch/appetizers at a non-meal time are totally valid options. Just time it right, and it will be lovely.

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  • Cate
    Expert August 2012
    Cate ·
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    Kris S, good question! I agree with everyone else, if you expect people to sit through your ceremony then its only fair to at least serve them something....

    My mom always says, the ceremony is from the bride and groom, and the reception is for the guests....

    Its where the bride and groom shows how thankful they are to have people there that love them....

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  • Laura Pearson
    Laura Pearson ·
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    Hi Kathleen,

    The wonderful thing about weddings today is you can decide what you want your wedding to look like. That being said, I do agree that if you are having a reception of some type it would be proper to invite those who are invited to the wedding. Although $10,000 is not a huge budget for 150 people it is not out of the question. I do think they are ways to control costs. I had quite a few ideas that immediately popped into my head.

    Where is the ceremony being held and is that some place different that the proposed reception?

    Is 150 the invites you sent out or your confirmed attendees?

    What time is your ceremony slated for?

    I just helped a couple plan a Denver wedding with 75 guests with the same budget and they had a sit-down dinner, DJ, great ceremony/reception location, linens, florals etc. Sometimes I think couples can struggle with the allocation of funds and can under-spend in some areas and over-spend in others.

    If you would like to call me, I would be happy to help!

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  • Dena&JD
    Master April 2012
    Dena&JD ·
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    YOu can have a lunch reception..It's much cheaper than dinner, also people drink less.

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  • Kathleen
    Beginner February 2013
    Kathleen ·
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    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all your feed back. We do plan on having a morning wedding starting around 11:00AM with a brunch buffet to follow. I think I just feel overwhelmed because there are tons of options and I am not sure where it is good/bad to cut costs. 150 is the total of people we plan to invite. I heard somewhere that around 30% usually do not attend though.

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  • FMC
    Master June 2012
    FMC ·
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    The best way to cut costs besides the guest list is decor. Since you are already having a brunch that will save you money there. Also your dress, budget wisely and it can be done!

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  • Laura Pearson
    Laura Pearson ·
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    Take a breath, you have plenty of time. If you are inviting 150 people you should expect about 100 people (more if they are close to you, less if they are more distant friends/family). A brunch will be beautiful and will limit alcohol intake. There is an online budget tool that tells you want people in your area paid for different services/products and give you an idea of where to put your money: It is called Cost of Wedding

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  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    When in doubt, do NOT cut costs when it comes to hosting your guests. First, cut costs by decreasing your budget for dress/attire, stationery, favors (skip them), flowers, decorations, and other things. I think Hayley C has great budget ideas in her profile. We should put a tracking device on that girl. Hayley???.....Hayley! Where are you Hayley!!!!! Smiley smile

    I guess I still don't understand where the other $7750 of your budget is going. Are you counting your rings and HM into that total?

    Usually, the majority of any wedding budget goes into hosting your guests. From there, you prioritize what's important to you as a couple - photography, venue, flowers, dress, etc.

    Also - don't bank on the 70% attendance thing. I've had friends who had nearly 100% attendance at their weddings. Make sure you can afford to host every person on your guest list - if less RSVP, then you're in the black and not the red.

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
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    I'm with Kris...where is the rest of your money going?! What are you including in that $15 per person...just food and drink? I would personally be very offended if there was only a ceremony and no reception at all...you don't have to have a typical reception by any means, but do something for your guests to show your appreciation.

    On another note, to be completely honest, if you invite 150 people and have no reception, you can expect a lot more than 30% to not show up unless they are all super close family and friends...

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  • Kathleen
    Beginner February 2013
    Kathleen ·
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    $10,000 is the total budget for everything: Venue, Food/drinks, photographer, decor, bride & groom attire, music, cake, rings, invitations, transportation. I sort of just quoted $15 at random. Realistically I think we would aim around $30.00 a person. I appreciate everything that has been said on this post and I am happy to hear back from you all so quickly . It really has helped me put everything in perspective and to few the reception as a was to appreciate our guests and show our appreciation and love to them instead of a financial burden. I can definitely cut costs with my own attire, decor, and venue. Thanks Smiley smile

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
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    Sounds good to me Smiley smile $10,000 is very doable! There are some brides on here with budgets of $5,000 or less and they still have fantastic weddings...you just have to set priorities!

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  • Anonymous
    VIP October 2012
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    My cousin had a backyard reception at our uncles house. Just a BBQ with our family and friends. Had lots of music and drunk people. It was one of the best receptions I have ever been too!

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  • Alina
    VIP August 2012
    Alina ·
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    $10,000 for us and were having 150 people. Backyard....we're making our own food but if you don't want to do full on dinner you can do hor douerves and dessert. Skip the wine and have mocktails and lemonade or just champagne.

    Sign up for vista prints emails and buy your invites when they have a sale. A few weeks ago they had 50% off your entire order.

    DIY a lot....we made our own programs, they cost hardly anything.

    Bestbridalprices.com ... find a dress you like in the store and then see if you can find it on the site. I got a few hundred off on there and their the real dresses.

    $10,000 is totally doable!

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  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    For a brunch I think that is so doable. In case it helps, the 2 biggest factors for staying in our catering budget were:

    1. Finding a venue that lets us use whatever licensed caterer we want, and

    2. Finding a venue that lets us bring our own alcohol.

    Remember when you're looking at venues, compare the cost of all-inclusive venues with the cost of itemizing all those things. Our venue is a blank slate, so we have to rent everything down to the forks and spoons from our caterer. But for us, it works.

    Also remember to factor in delivery, service charges, tax and gratuity. Those things add up for sure.

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  • D
    Savvy December 2012
    dee ·
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    I don't think you can invite someone to the ceremony and not the reception.

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  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
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    $10,000 is doable for 150 people. Cut back on the decor. Especially flowers. And the dress budget. Honestly, it sounds brutal, but no one cares about those things in the long run. For a guest a wedding dress is a wedding dress, and no one ever really remembers your decor, and really won't care if it looks like something David Tutera created if half of them don't even get to go to the reception. Shop around for the food. $25 for 150 people would be around 4k with tax and everything. If you can cut that down a little to $20 it would be a little over 3k. You could always cut the guest list down. Do plus ones for married, engaged, and long term(2 or more years) relationships only. We had an 80 person list with a 6k budget, but when we really thought hard and tried we cut it down to 50. No second, third, or further distant cousins that we never talk to. No children. No plus ones for our friends who are single or have been dating someone for less than 2 years whose BF/GF we've never met.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Ki ·
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    This is crazy! U can do what u want to do. It’s not rude to not have a reception. It’s rude to expect food because u came to be apart of someone’s life changing event. U should feel blessed they cared enough for u to be invited. Not feel entitled to be fed.
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