Is It Tacky to Ask for Money instead of Gifts?

If they only wanted cash instead of gifts I'd only give them a dollar just to spite them. Also, I'd write 'congrats' all over that dollar so they would be unable to use it.

I don't think its tacky to ask as long as it is done properly- through your parents, MOH, BMs, GMs, etc. However I would like to point out that if someone wants to get you an actual gift and you do not have a registry, they will just go out and buy you whatever they want to get you.

My cousin recently got married and her DH wanted to just get money so they did a small registry. Once all the gifts were purchased from the registry, people started giving them really odd gifts that they could not find a purpose for or already had something similar. It got to be such a hassle for them because they had to return a lot of gifts and explain to the giver that they already had something. Lesson learned.

The problem with the wishing well, vs. a card box, is, frankly, its size. It's really cute, but it also implies an expectation that your guests will bring enough cards and checks to fill it up.

I was not comfortable with doing a registry either, but as Honey B. said, people who want to give you a tangible gift will go by their taste and not yours. While most guests include a gift receipt, you may get a gift without a receipt or otherwise that can't be returned. Again, I didn't like providing a registry, but when I am a guest, I am usually relieved to have the couple's registry as a guide. Not everyone knows you well enough to know yours tastes and needs well, and if one of these people prefers to buy a tangible gift, who knows what you'd get.

The well is cute and whatnot but I wouldn't say go for it, it is tacky. Let people who can afford a gift bring one, if they can't, then let them make it.

Good luck

I think sometimes people feel like setting up a registry is "asking" for gifts, so what's the difference in asking for cash. It's a HUGE difference. I think the registry is a guide for your guests, to help them know your tastes and what you want. It's not a requirement that they bring ONLY what you've registered for. Whereas setting up ONLY a Honeyfund or HM registry communicates this expectation of cash gifts and cash gifts only to a lot of people. If you set up the HM registry alongside a traditional registry, it at least gives people an option, and it seems less demanding IMO.

I agree with J&R on the size of the well- if it were smaller and sitting on a table, I'd just think, "cute cardbox!" and nothing more. If it's a gimongous thing on the floor, every time I walked past it I'd feel like I was supposed to throw on a dollar or something and it would make me uncomfortable. That's just my opinion. I'm not Jesus.

We chose to leave off any mention of gifts or a registry on the invite or our wedding website. We already have a full house of stuff. We just want our friends and family to be there & celebrate with us and not feel obligated to bring something. If my crazy relatives feel oblidged, they will tactfully shove money into my dress at our bride/ groom dance! haha We are tacky in our own ways!

I do not think it’s tacky to ask for money instead of gifts. Everyone knows weddings cost money, and the bride/groom will most likely have much more of a money need than anything else… IMO it depends on the way you deliver the message that money would be preferred. My cousin got married and respectfully expressed on the invites that they were not asking for gifts, just the presence of Fam/friends at the wedding, but if anyone felt the need to give something, he and his wife would prefer a small monetary gift. They already purchased a home and had a son together, so no gift would really be needed. My family is the type of people who will automatically give money anyway. I say it’s your wedding, and the people who truly love you won’t care what you ask for anyway!!

We are having a card box at the reception. With our culture, 99% of the time, people give monetary gifts. It all depends on your guests. If people asks, just have your family and close friends spread the word that money would be the best way to go.

IMHO, you just have to know your guests.. my family and friends that I've invited would be more than happy to offer money over a gift and it's pretty common around here to do so. It's always good to offer a small gift registry as well or just don't register for anything and let your guests decide on their own. If anything, and I'm sure someone has already mentioned this, have your MOH or parents spread the word that the couple would prefer cash over gifts. They don't have to announce it but it's likely someone will ask "what should I get them?" and so they can be informed. I was tinkering with ideas myself about it and I think I'm going to have a small gift registry for those that want it and leave it to my guests to decide to give money if they wish. I'm making it clear though that their presence is the best present (cheesy)

I don't think it's appropriate to ask for money. Generally from what I've seen, a lot of people tend to give cash anyways. Give as you'd like to received, as I'd like to think of it. Maybe you can pass the message along to family and friends in hopes they can send the message to your guests. To ask for money is almost an insult, because people do put time in picking out a gift for you and your hubby. My fiance and I are lucky because we already live together, and everything we would need when we buy a house, we'd most likely already have. And in our Asian culture, no one would be caught dead bringing a gift to a wedding! That's just our joke and thankfully all our friends like to do cash anyway, that way they can avoid CA sales tax

Completely unacceptable, rude and offensive!! What the hell is wrong with this generation!' Me me me!! Look at me change my dress three hundred times look at me personalize my wedding to the point of makings guests feel uncomfortable and awkward. Look at me ask for money because I have lost the meaning of ceramony and tradition and I'm just thinking of what

I want when I want it and how I want it!! Because I am spoiled and entitled!! You all need to check yourselves if your even thinking of asking for money in any form!!

Well, I know that anywhere in the world people automatically bring money gift instead of pans and pods or whatever. Here in USA its complicated because for some reason everyone start doing registries, and asking for gifts. But really why do you need a gifts if you dont have your own house yet to where to put it all? Historically it is known that once men and women decided to knot their lives together, after wedding they suppose to leave their parent nests and live on their own. Just based on this it should automatically click in quest minds, "awesome they probably need extra cash for their new home" this should be the main quote in everyone brain once they are invited to the wedding!

So If you having a hard time deciding on what to ask, just think of this, it is obviously! And I dont think its a problem to let your guests to know that I would like to get money instead of gifts, because you do really need the money! and if its hard for your quest to get $100 for you and the card, well think of that: "itsn't what you have paid for your quest at the reception location??",

I'm going to partly agree and disaagree with what most poeple are saying. An invite should include no gift information at all. That's just welcoming people to celebrate this day with you. You can have a weddind site listed on the invite and have registry info on there. Now this is where I disagree, I don't necessarily think it is wrong to ask for a monetary gift. I know a lot of people are saying they wouldn't go or just not send a gift, which of course is your right. But I'd have to say that maybe you weren't that connected to that couple. I would never be offended if a couple was honest in what their need was to me and ultimately I would like to contribute what they need. Bottom line there isn't as much difference between making a list of things you want people to buy you or asking them to contribute a financial gift to your future if they so wish. I think a lot of these idea have been around so long that people are used to them and uncomfotable with anything different. There was a time where a registry was considered obscene. And I think a key thing here is you shouldn't be having a massive wedding inviting folks that would be offended by something like that, close family and friends would want to give you what you need. A tactful thing would be to put something along the lines as, "At this time we don't need any household gifts, but rather would just love your company instead." - That's an honest signal that you aren't looking for stuff plus if people stillw ant to give you something they'll know to give cash. And as fo rthe comment of this generation having a selfish-ness problem.. My response to that is always 1. The generation before yours thought the same of you and 2. If you feel that way about us remember you raised us and/or contributed to the environment that formed us.

At the end of the day The Times' puts it best, "There is no logical difference between a registry of gifts and a request for cash. (Happy now?) What's more, the fiction that relatives or close friends must break the (shocking) news that there exists a registry, and never a member of the bridal couple, is also foolish and may be dispensed with. But, like items on a registry, contributions to your down-payment fund should be softly suggested, not foot-stomping demands."