Is a Wedding Worth the Money?

I experienced guilt like you at first. The mlre I thought about it, being able to celebrate our union and taking this huge step in life with my family and friends present made it worth it to me.

If you can afford it and want it, go for the wedding. As long as you can properly manage and budget for your higher priority expenses like loans and savings while paying for the wedding, I don't see an issue. Of course, there's always something better that the money can be used for. You can say that about other things as well though, like the money you spend eating out, taking vacations, etc.

Yes, it is totally worth the money to celebrate such a joyous union. Our wedding will come in under $3000. For some that is a lot of money, for others that is a drop in the bucket. I can't see spending $10,000, $30,000 whatever but you know what? That is THEIR money to spend, not my business. This is my second marriage, his first, and hell yes we wanna celebrate!!

Just focus on what is important. I went budget with invited and floral, while others drop a lot of coin on those things, that is their preference. Our priorities are excellent food, top shelf liquor and a beautiful setting to have the ceremony.

I have student loans from grad school, two kids in college and we can still pay for those things and have a wonderful celebration within a budget, whatever that budget may be.

Yes it is all worth it!!!

I'm kind of in the same mindset. After going through most of the planning costs I regret that we could have used this money for a house or something else. However I have always dreamed of a wedding and I couldn't imagine not having that day with all of our family. I'll be happy once we've had the wedding and can save for something else though.

Now that we're 33 days out.. I couldn't imagine not having the wedding we planned. Part of me definitely wanted to elope in the beginning of this process. I would have been happy with an elopement, but my FH wanted the wedding.

Have you two looked into a destination wedding? We saved a lot of money by opting to go with a destination wedding at a venue that was all-inclusive. We invited the same amount we would have felt obligated to invite in our hometown, but knew that many people would decline due to the travel. We ended up with a very intimate beach wedding with the people who are the absolute closest to us. All in all, I'd definitely say all of this was worth it and it definitely didn't break the bank as we definitely did a lot of research to cut costs where we could.

Good luck to you and your FS in whatever you two decide!

I love to throw a good party, so I don't think it is a waste. It is a little sickening seeing how much money is going out of our bank account, but it is what we want and we aren't going broke over it. My mom has been in the banquet/event planning business all my life, so I couldn't imagine not having a big wedding.

I think I could have gone either way to be honest. Either eloping or having the big day. However, it was very important to my FH and his family to have the big day and include family and friends. That's what we're doing and I'm happy with it.

I agree with PPs there is always guilt about money. Sometimes even when I buy new shoes I think wow I could have used that for X Y Z. I think I'd experience the same feelings regardless of what we spent the money on (wedding, house, vacation, **** Starbucks coffees.. LOL).

We are having our dream come true wedding and so that feels right to us right now.

I understand how you feel. Even though I wanted a wedding, when we first started planning (and still a bit now) I was very particular about knowing how everything cost, comparing my options and minimizing expensive. I got the opposite reaction from family, though, they thought I was being ridiculous and were saying “if you’re spending the money, make it count!”

Now that we’ve made most of the large purchases, I can tell you that i’m so excited to have this celebration we’ve been planning. If you’re able to plan a wedding within a budget you’recomfortable with, it’s worth it. It’s a celebration of you, your FS, and your union with your close friends and family and you deserve it!

I feel that way occasionally, but most of the time I feel like....it's totally worth it. I grew up wanting a beautiful wedding. We've been together for 9 years (getting married on our 10 year anniversary) and have put it on hold to have kids, etc. Now this is what I want. Not that I necessarily "deserve" it....but we've worked hard and we aren't taking money from anyone else, so....I say my money, my party, totally worth it.

I never wanted a big wedding, but my family pretty much insisted on it (and are paying the majority of the cost). It's a lot of money, but I don't think you can put a price tag on being surrounded by all your loved ones and celebrating with them. Some people may be coming from long distances, and others may not live much longer - I feel it's really invaluable to create this wonderful memory with them.

You are right, it is a very individual issue based on so many different factors: Personal income, age, size of families and circle of friends, where you live/want to get married, current debt, is someone else paying or contributing, cultural expectations, what each couple values, etc. You can probably ask "is it worth it?" about any purchase: Are those $200 shoes worth it? Is that private college tuition of $20K per year worth it? Is a $4 Starbucks coffee worth it? The answer is yes. And the answer is no. It all depends. For those choosing to have a wedding, some couples value the details and want to put a lot of their budget towards extravagant flowers and decor, some would rather spend more on their rings, some on the food and alcohol, some would rather have an expensive wedding gown, or some combination thereof. We spent $7,000 on our honeymoon. For some, that may be an outrageous amount of money, for others that may be a fraction of what they are spending. Again, it all depends.

While we could have comfortably afforded to spend about $20K more than we did, we decided that approx. $20-$24K would be our target. We came in a just under $23K for 73 people for everything except rings and honeymoon. In NYC, that's no small feat! Was it worth it? Absolutely.

I thought a wedding was a waste but my FH didn't. He grew up with a huge family that he's close to and so he wants the whole big wedding that's costing a ton. I love him and I wont take this day from him. So don't feel guilty that your FH didn't want the wedding, He wants you to have this because he loves you. Feeling guilty takes away from him doing what he can to see you happy.

Cut out things that don't make sense to you and him. Spending a bunch on flowers or cake, a fancy meal. If it wont make you hapoy, don't have it. This day is about you to getting married and the people you love being there to celebrate your happiness. Focus on that, if someone doesn't like it, they can deal. The people you invite should be there to see you be happy or they aren't worth the trouble to try and impress. At the end of the day, I'll be married and we can make the money back. You can't make the wedding happen again.

I initially also felt that way but am overjoyed that we decided to have a wedding. We spent slightly under $10,000 and got to celebrate an awesome day with our friends and family. I also kept on thinking we could use the money on a house or student loans, and of course, distant relatives mentioned the same thing to my mother. But I consoled myself with the reality that $10,000 is not a down payment on a house in our area (DC), where the median home price is over $550,000 nor would it really put a dent in mine and husband student loans, which top $200,000 (undergrad and grad). Plus we wanted to celebrate our wedding in some way, and just food/alcohol and attire would cost a few thousand for everyone we wanted with us. And several months later, I don't regret our wedding at all nor the amount we spent.

For us it is absolutely worth it. We may never have the chance again to have all of our loved ones gathered in the same place at the same time. And who doesn't love a party?

For us our wedding was absolutely worth every cent. Wedding planning, and our plans in general, are well respected-no meddling moms, no things have to be a certain way, etc, so that does make our lives easier.

For me, money is just money. We get one shot at this and we want it to be the day we’ve dreamed of. I’m working two jobs to make it happen. Granted, we already own our home but I think we would have done it had that not been the case.

Honestly I do not. I was planning my first wedding about 5 years ago when things went south and we broke off our engagement. $1000s of money lost. So this time around I’m doing it right for me. We aren’t looking for a huge extravagant party, instead we are doing an outside laid back cheaper wedding that fits us.

I think that's too personal of a question to generalize. If you have lots of money, then I suspect a wedding is worth it because the relative cost is less. If you'd be giving up important things to have one, then maybe it's not worth it quite as much.

I would have been happy to go to the courthouse, but my fiance has never been married and it was important to him to have a wedding and celebrate with our family and friends. His happiness is worth more than some money to me. We aren't having a big expensive wedding but we're having something perfect for us, so it'll be worth it.

This will be my 2nd marriage and my mom was one of the first ones to remind me of that. She made it pretty clear several times that it's my 2nd time around so it doesn't need to be so formal but they better get to come if we elope...that lasted maybe a week. Now she's shoving everything from her wedding down my throat in hopes we use it in our wedding. My first wedding was put together in 2 weeks and I barely got a say in anything(was hopped up on pain killers and getting over a miscarriage so I was pretty out of it). I also wasn't pumped to get married the first time. This feels like my first wedding and we are doing the whole ceremony and reception thing in Vegas. If we did it local it would be way too big and much more expensive. My sister and good friend at work both eloped and were really glad they did but they did it because they wanted to avoid family drama at all costs. So it's really up to you. If you want the wedding go for it. I can't wait to wear the wedding dress that I picked out and celebrate with our closest friends and family.

I always thought I would have a small wedding and use the money to take a really nice honeymoon instead. But after seeing a bunch of my friends get married, how happy they were, and how amazing their days have been, I decided I really wanted a big wedding. Also, after meeting my FH, I realized there was nothing I wanted more than a big celebration of our love with all/most of our family and friends together.

It's a lot of money, but it's a once in a lifetime thing. We can take a fancy vacation later and I am so unbelievably excited for our wedding. I don't regret spending the money at all, we're going to remember this day for forever, and hopefully our guests will too.

I totally see where you're coming from! I have a lot of student loan debt and I'm super frugal in everyday life (I refuse to pay a cent in interest on anything haha), but I too want a beautiful, Pinterest-worthy wedding day. When I told my FH it was $60 to get the marriage license he was like "that's all we would HAVE to pay?!" but he also knows it's important to me.

I think about it long-term: when I'm looking back one day, I want to picture the beautiful day we planned, with all the people and things we love. Our wedding is very DIY, so for me it's the feeling of pride that I put this whole day together and it was amazing (or hopefully will be )

My advice is to do what's financially comfortable for YOU - if you're struggling with the thought that xx item costs xx amount and it's ridiculous, do it cheap or don't do it at all! I can't bring myself to spend hundreds on a huge cake for 100 people, so we're doing a mini cake to cut and homemade desserts.