Is a Wedding Worth the Money?

I do feel guilty sometimes, but it's definitely worth it. I've always dreamed of having a big wedding and we have very very minimal student loans, and the cost of a wedding wouldn't even put a dent in the cost of buying a home here in Denver (plus we get more for our money by renting), so it wasn't really an either-or thing for us. We wanted it, we knew we could afford it, so we saved for it and did it.

View Quoted Comment Same here, we've been together for 10 years. Both married before but didn't have a big wedding...I eloped on the beach and he had a courthouse wedding. I feel like we both deserve it and we've worked towards the day to celebrate our union.

View Quoted Comment This, exactly. It helped that we were able to pretty much do it the way we wanted (within the bounds of good etiquette). I wouldn’t trade the memories of being surrounded by all the people I love most in the world for anything, especially not being able to buy a house or pay off student loans a few months earlier.

But I recognize that I had the privilege to make that choice, and not everyone does. Like PPs said, it comes down to what else you could be doing with that money and how much that’s worth to you.

It is worth it to us.

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Where did you have your wedding? I'm looking for an all-inclusive place to keep our costs lower than having a larger wedding at home!

View Quoted Comment Hey so I’m planning my wedding as well and I’m starting to get so nervous and anxious about the whole deal! We also decided on an all inclusive destination wedding but now I’m wondering if that was the right choice? After I’ve put a deposit down I’m over here second guessing myself. Once I add up flights and hotel stay it’s about 1800 a guest and basically I’m just wondering from an outside perspective is that too much to ask of my guests? I’ve already sent out save the dates and don’t know if I should go back on the whole thing and just do it in my hometown or if it’s just my nerves! Please some outside input would be so helpful bc everyone keeps saying just do what you want to do it’s your day but I don’t know what to do!

I certainly think it’s relative. I had a destination wedding with only around 20 people and maybe spent like 8,000 tops? But the real problem is when the money goes towards a one day celebration and not towards the actual marriage or what it’s behind. The biggest mistake I see people make is people having 60K weddings and stressing their eyeballs out, planning while going to school and full time jobs all the while waiting for the next paycheck to pay the florist. I say if you already have the extra income on hand that is extra (don’t plan with money you don’t have yet I made that mistake, youll never know what life brings you ex: broken car, new phone, etc) go for it. But don’t rob yourself to make everyone else happy. It’s an 8 hour party that might stress you the hell out for the next year.
My biggest tip: is prioritize what you want the most, if you care about a banging dress and less about flowers get the banging dress and save on flowers, etc.
and please, save before you buy. Do not plan a wedding with money you don’t have yet. Even if that means having an extra long engagement you will know exactly how much comes in and out. Life will get you and you won’t know it. So set your money aside and prioritize what you actually care aboutz
sincerly,
a newly wed

View Quoted Comment Hi I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I do think that is a tremendously large amount to ask for your guest. I mean if they have to pay 1,800 dollars that’s an entire vacation right there. I think if you want your guest count to stay the same you should look into a venue that offers at the very least a discounted group rate. But if I were you and if you have the money, it’s more considerate to pay for their hotel or resort fee. But honestly think about who you really want to be there. And ask yourself the question would you pay $1800 to go to someone’s wedding? Probably not. Hope this helps

I had the same issues when I first started planning my wedding with my fiance. I wanted small and as cheap as I can make it, but also beautiful and elegant. After we started looking at pricing and we toured a few venues, we decided that this is the only time we plan on getting married. We decided to do what we want, have as many people as we want, the food we want, the dress I want and the suit my future husband wants (we ended up getting him a custom suit). I was having a hard time with thinking of how much we are spending because we are paying for it 100% on our own, but my fiance looked at me and said "I want it to be our day. I don't want you or me to look back on it in 20 years and say you wish we would've done this instead of that, or that you wish we would've payed more to get the flowers you really wanted". We have been watching what we are spending, but we are also making sure that we are getting everything we want. Even if it means getting an idea and DIY-ing it for the wedding; which is what we are doing for some of our stuff like centerpieces, signs for the ceremony, place cards for the reception and our RSVP's.

Ultimately it is up to you how big you want the wedding, or if you want a wedding at all. I have a coworker of mine who went to Vegas with her now husband and got married a little over a year ago without anyone around. They came home and threw a small reception for about 40 people including their family, friends and some of their coworkers. It was beautiful and it was them. Do what is right for you and what is going to make you happy in the long run.

I never dreamed of a big wedding. I thought it was a crazy concept to spend a lot of money on one day when that money could have so many better uses.

I always imagined myself getting married on the beach. I have attended and been in destination weddings. Although, the weddings are beautiful and beachy; and it's a little bonus vacation for all, it is a lot to ask of the people you love. Plus, you know you are sacrificing guests who won't be able to attend for various reasons, but especially cost.

I have always longed for all of my family to be together as we are split up all over the East coast. The guest list was one of our biggest challenges on deciding how expensive this wedding was going to cost. And after many nights of trying to pick and choose, we finally said screw it, let's invite everyone (approx. 120 people). We also knew that we didn't want a 'cookie cutter' venue. It meant a lot for us to be in an atmosphere that felt like 'us'. We found a beautiful B&B and farm. We chose an exclusive weekend package renting out the entire place for the weekend to help accommodate the wedding party traveling from out state.

However, the caveat to our venue choice meant nothing was included. We had to pay for all the details even down to renting chairs, which we hadn't thought about before signing on the dotted line. Many of those 'cookie cutter' venues are all inclusive. So, definitely be thoughtful of what your venue choice does and does not include.

We are happy with our choice, but it will not be cheap. We are getting help from our parents and doing the rest ourselves. We are lucky enough to have little to no debt, and we're making sure this isn't putting us out. If you have to wait for a paycheck to pay for something, rethink things a bit. Financial debts can cause stress and resentment in a marriage, so don't forget about life after the party.

With all of this being said, I'm still continuously grappling with the insecurity of "is this all really worth the cost?", which brought me to this forum thread. After reading the responses, I feel renewed confidence in our choice. Although many, 'it's a waste', responses are completely valid, we are ultimately doing this for the memory. We will never have all of our friends and family in one place together again. You can put a price tag on everything, except that. And that memory will be special at any budget, it doesn't have to be expensive. Just make sure it's a memory that reflects who you and your FH are. If you're having a wedding, just to do it, then it's a waste of money at any cost. But if you're doing it because you're sentimental and the moment and memory are something you will cherish, then carpe diem!