Invitations: A list & B list ??

Our venue has a 150 adult minimum and only 124 accepted. We didn't b list! We used extra budget for signature cocktails and late night snacks.

Of course not. Two days notice? DH started ranting that there's a reason wedding invitations go out in advance so that guests have enough time to put it on their calendar, budget for a wedding gift, etc. This was an acquaintance we hadn't spoken to in ages. It was a gift grab. I was so proud.

@EW-dammit. Was totally willing to book a flight for a WW table!

I don't know about doing some A list/ B list jazz...

I'm currently going through the processing of lessening my guest list from 220 to possibly 100/115. In doing this to be able to purchase the wedding dress I want and to have a better/more fulfilling (real good food and alcohol) reception for my guests. I don't have unlimited funds and will maneuver things to have an awesome celebration.

@ShayinLove,

I'm going to try and hope you're thinking of this guest list because you're wanting to figure out your budget or something. This A list/B list stuff is kind of rude. You may not intend it, but it's coming off that way. I'm having to sit down and reexamine our guest list and it's not easy. We've got to whittle it down to the people who we must have there to celebrate with us on that day and still be able to have a lovely celebration. So, maybe think of your list that way. Invite who you must have there and those you can afford to cater to

I'm sending you good vibes that you'll get it figured out and don't do that listing stuff...

I've been B listed and literally didn't care. It was a coworker of mine who is Italian and her husband from Ecuador. Major wedding since both families are huge. Got my invite 2 weeks before the wedding and was completely ok with it. We were good friends then but not enough to be a part of the family. We've gotten closer over time. I don't get offended easily though.

So you were B-listed, and declined. sounds incredibly painless. So what again was the problem?

Ruth, your situation was literally nothing special, but I do appreciate how you tried to finesse it like it was so you could be the exception. A for effort.

@Erin Wood - is doing it right! That's what we're doing We have a minimum we have just about hit and will be upgrading our liquor, apps, and late night desserts and snacks if we get declines and treating our VIPs best.

Don't do the thing

No B list for me I consider all my guests to be on the A list!

We didn't need to know that we were after thoughts.

If we had been invited several weeks in advance at the same time as everyone else, it would have felt like we were wanted at their wedding, and maybe we would have considered going.

Blue so the problem is knowing that you're an "after thought"?

I think this is one of those situations where you have to look at the percentages involved. Take this post as a sample of potential guests. What percentage are offended by B-listing? Are you willing to have that same percentage of your friends and family be offended by your actions? If so, carry on and if not, reconsider.

Additionally, had they also just decided not to invite us and left it that way, we would have never had to see how rude they were. Now we're aware.

I don't see an issue with it. People get WAY too worked up in this group sometimes.

I've been B listed before and honestly couldn't care. It wasn't my wedding and I was not mad I wasn't on the "A list". It shouldn't matter. Do what you gotta do to get your required or wanted number and go from there.

Not really seeing my question answered besides @Dani (thanks but it's not an option to subtract) so I'm gonna go ahead and say that's an exception to the rule. Bet your bottom dollar I'll be trying to meet my number at the end. I'll prob stick to coworkers at that point.

Do b listed guests not get the same food, booze and dessert as a listers? Some people really need to get over themselves.

Idk I really still wouldn't care if a coworker or friend came to me and said something like hey, I invited 150 people but only 148 said ok, I need a minimum of 150 for the venue, I know its last minute but would you and your Plus 1 like to come?

I wouldn't care...you know why? Because it's not my wedding. I wouldn't feel like I was second thought, I'd feel like oh cool, I have a wedding to attend now and I'm helping the bride!

Maybe that's just because I'm not emotional. It's a wedding. People can only spend so much money...I don't see the big deal here!!!

@unaware nope I've asked everything, there are no exceptions. I'd rather have to b-list in the event I have more than 10 declines, than have to come up withunexpected costs at the end if I changed my minimum to like 100. I don't think that's feasible. Again since I was B-listed before, it wasn't a secret and I was okay with it, I think this is the better option. It's all hypothetical but if I had to do it I would invite people from mine and FH's work.

As much as people complain about rsvp issues (wanting to bring extra people, asking if they can come to wedding) it's hard to believe people actually care about b-listing.