Invitation etiquette - married parents, different last names

Hmmm, to be thats a tough one. Maybe discuss this with your mom?

Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith are your only option, it seems. I don't think it will cross anyone's minds about the divorce issue...I can honestly tell you that I never pay attention to the "hosts" on the wedding invitation. Honestly, I don't even skim them. I look for the date, time and location and thats it. Then it sits on our fridge until the day of.

I plan to, just don't want to bug her about it yet since we're so far out. I'm guessing she'll want to do "Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith" and not give a damn if people misunderstand, haha.

If it makes a difference, FH's parents are divorced but still have the same last name. So I was thinking the invitation could look like this:

Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith

request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter

Sandpiper Doe Smith

and

James Bond

son of

Mary Bond

Benjamin Bond"

?

Do not use Ms. - use Mrs!

Ms. is for divorced or widowed women. Mrs. indicates she is married to your dad, even though their last names are different

Ms. is also for women who fought hard in the 1970s and 80s to be considered as individuals and not defined by their marital status -- the idea was that it's unfair that men always get to be Mr., but women are defined even in professional contexts by whether they're sexually available or not. So there was a big movement to use Ms. as a sign of respect for all women (hence the name of the feminist magazine "Ms. Magazine."). My mom never uses Mrs. and doesn't appreciate being called that, so she will definitely not want to be listed that way on the invitation. Similarly, she doesn't like it when people assume she changed her name.

I'm not judging anybody who uses Mrs. and I know a lot of women still like it, or they don't think it's appropriate to use Ms. for a married woman in a formal wedding invitation context. I just know my mom and understand that this means a lot to her.

Ms. Jane Doe AND Mr. John Smith implies that they are married. If they were unmarried, you would list their names on separate lines without "and".

What Miss Daisy said. You put married people on the same line and unmarried people on different lines.

Jane & John invite you to the wedding

of their daughter

Sandpiper Smith

to

James Bond son of

Mary & Benjamin

Ms. is an appropriate address for any woman of any marital status. I see it used for married women often.

Most women I know who kept their maiden names after marriage go by Ms.

I would go with what Miss Daisy said.

I would write Mrs. since she is married. To me, Ms. implies that they are divorced.

Maybe just ask your mom what she likes best?

I have the same situation and didn't think anything of it. I didn't use Mr. and Ms. though. I just put "Dad Last Name and Mom Last Name"

I would ask your mom what she prefers, but I do think the man's name generally goes first (not trying to start a sexism talk - just going by what I've seen etiquette-wise).

The indication of divorced is if their names are listed on separate lines. Keep them both listed on the same line and it is acceptable.

Wrong. ms. is for anyone who decides it is right for them. I'm a married ms. (37 years married.)