Invitation etiquette for couples who don't live together

I think it depends. If you're inviting your friend and allowing her to bring her S.O. (which of course you would because they are a social unit), you should send it to the friend addressed to her and her S.O. by name. If you are individually friends with both, then give them their own separate invitation.

The way I view it is: if this couple were to break up, would I want both of them at the wedding? If yes, give them their own invitations. If no, give an invitation to the person who would be invited no matter what.

If you send them each their own invitation, they may be annoyed that they are not being addressed as a social unit. I'd rather someone think I was cheap and didn't want to send an extra invite than for them to think I don't think of them and their bf/gf as a "real" couple. For that reason, I'd just send one to the closer friend and address it to both of them.

I'd be inclined to agree with "send to the closer friend". I didn't have this situation arise, but that's how I would've handled it. Having said that though, if you do feel FSIL's partner would be insulted, then I'd go with your gut.

Thanks, good points. FSIL and her partner have been together for almost 21 years, and they live long distance from each other right now.

FH and I were invited to four weddings where only one of us received an invitation when we weren't living together. They were usually addressed to both our names at the one address. I don't know what etiquette says, but it's certainly done this way. I'd probably feel as though we weren't recognized as a social unit if we'd revived separate invitations, but that may vary by person.

I have several of these on my list. I followed the "send to the closet friend" rule.

I also didn't always follow the male name first rule. If my FH and I are friends with the female and not necessarily the male of the relationship, I wrote female first last and then male first last. For couples where we truly are friends with both, I did male first last then female first last.

I sent to the closer friend too.

I think "send to the closer friend" means, for example, our college friend and her long-term SO who we have never met live separately. We will be mailing it to her address, but listing both names on the invitation.

We sent them to the closer friend addressed to both

I didn't even think twice about this. We have several friends in this situation. We are sending to them as social unit, and yes, sending to the "closer" of the two of them. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. They're going to attend as a social unit, why should they need to send two separate RSVP's?

FH and I don't live together and whenever we get wedding invitations it's always addressed to both of us; my family and friends send it to me and his family and friends send it to him.

Guess I goofed up on this one....we have a few couples who don't live together, but we're good friends with both of the people, so I gave them their own invitations with no plus one.

Address both of their names on the envelope, like "Firtsname Lastname and Firstname Lastname" and if you want to, put Ms. or Mr. (or in your case, both Ms.) in front of their names. And you do send it to the closest one to you; the person that you are initially inviting, who would be your FSIL. So, their name should be the first on the envelope. ETA: It probably wouldn't be insulting, because as some pp's have said, they might be a little annoyed that they didn't get invited together. As long as their names are included, they should be fine.

I addressed my save the date to a couple that lives seperatly. Example below.

Mr. John Smith &

Ms. Jane Doe

Email/ring and ask where they'd like it to go?

I also sent to the closer friend. It was really important to me to acknowledge social units.

I agree with pp. Also if you were to send them invitations separately addressed to just their name only they may assume you are inviting just them without their SO because they wouldn't necessarily know the other person also received their own invitation.

Before FH and I lived together, wedding invites were sent to one of us but were addressed to both. We really didn't think too deep into it.

Thanks, everyone. I think I will just ask FSIL myself, since she's the one who gave me her partner's address.

I am using the "closer friend rule".