Infants at ceremony

I welcome not attending the ceremony actually.

My sister is due to have her baby May 3. My wedding is May 12. Her other children (8 and 2) are my flower girl and ring bearer. I couldn’t imagine my sister not being at my wedding. My brother in law and sister will be attending, baby and all (as long as she has baby and is home and everything is ok, last time she went 5 days over due date.) How does your brother feel about SIL not attending the ceremony? If it’s important to him and you that she be there I’d definitely hire a babysitter

I'm going through the same thing. My FSIL's baby will be 3 months when we get married. Both parents are in the wedding party so they couldn't take it to the ceremony even if they wanted to. There are also no children at the wedding. I'm hoping they put her MIL in a hotel room and leave the baby with her. They haven't asked if he can attend and I haven't brought it up.

The parents may not want to leave them with a stranger but it is nice offer. Give them the option and if they agree to it then hire the babysitter.

I recommend that you hire a babysitter for the ceremony so that you're not hated on by your family post-wedding and can still have the ceremony go the way you want. We are having a kid-free wedding but have a lot of family and friends coming from out of state and overseas, and a lot of them have little ones. So, we're getting a couple of conjoined hotel rooms nearby and hiring two sitters to watch the kids while the adults party. This gives the adults the freedom to just enjoy themselves but they're super close by just in case. The kids will have coloring and craft activities, movies to watch, and pizza.

You are in the same boat as me except mine are people in my wedding party. My mom thought I was being ridiculous not wanting young babies at the ceremony for the exact reasons you stated but she and everyone else got over it. Luckily a family member is going to miss the wedding in order to babysit all the children which I’m so relieved about. As long as your fiancé wants the same thing as you stick to your guns. Your wedding day is YOURS and what you want is totally understandable. Hiring a babysitter is a great option if you’re willing to do that. Good luck!

My word. I would be offended if I were asked not to come with my newborn as your SIL.

How long is your ceremony and what time is it? 2-3 month old babies sleep like 16 hours a day. Chances are they will sleep through your ceremony and reception. I think you are going to regret this decision to ask them not to attend.

And should these babies start crying during, any normal parent would excuse themselves during the ceremony and take the baby to a place where they can be calmed down before returning.

I don’t particularly love small children at weddings, but infants are an absolute exception.

Hirung a baby sitter is a waste of money imo. I would not send my child off with someone I didn’t know, especially not a baby that young.

One of my daughters was MOH at a DW just 6 weeks after giving birth. She did not want her baby at the ceremony or reception because she knew she would be more focused on the baby than the wedding, so she brought her MIL on the trip to watch her daughter. Fortunately the ceremony was on a beach just outside the hotel they were staying at and my DD was able to breast feed baby before and after the ceremony and check on her during the reception. Perhaps in your situation one your brother's MILs can be there to watch the babies so that your SILs can attend the ceremony and see their other children participate. I hope it works out for you.

I agree with powers2 I would be 100% upset if you asked me to leave my newborn with a stranger for the ceremony or not to attend that can cause unnecessary strain in the family. And babies at that time sleep all the time except to eat or be changed they don't get bored as older toddlers do and can easily be soothed

I think you're in the wrong here. I get that you don't want infants crying, I really do, but you should focus on the parents taking the child out of the ceremony rather than not being invited at all. And unless the infants are BAWLING, you won't hear them after the parent is walking away with their back to you.

if you have a videographer, ask them if they have any equipment to filter out noise in the videos afterwards. Most will be able to do that during editing.

View Quoted Comment I would be offended as well powers2. Weddings are about family's coming together. I have two sisters that will be brings very young kids and baby to my wedding. Honestly hoping they do something silly while I say my vows so I don't cry lol

I would expect you telling your SILs not to be at the ceremony to greatly impact any relationship you have with them. I also think hiring a babysitter is nonsense- no one is going to leave a newborn with a stranger, no matter how long it’s for.

I would be super offended.

2-3 months sleep a lot, and it's easy to adjust their schedules. For example, when my son was that age and we had to fly, I timed it so we fed him right before boarding, knowing that as soon as he ate he would out for the whole trip.

I am absolutely shocked that you would consider asking your family (SILs and babies included) not to be present at your ceremony. I don’t blame your brother for being upset. It was thoughtless and selfish to ask that the babies not be at the ceremony. So what if the baby cries? Whoever is holding the baby would likely walk out of the ceremony. Perhaps when you have children of your own you will see how wrong this is. Sorry for being harsh but better it come from a stranger.

View Quoted Comment I have my own children. So, i know how it is.

Did you not read that it's OUTSIDE? and a 2 minute walk from any sort of privacy? So, if the BABIES (bc it's not 1, it's 2 assuming that you didn't read that either. And if you're a mother, you know that when 1 baby cries, the other is more likely to cry as well) cry and are inconsolable, the entire ceremony party will have to hear that baby crying the entire walk back to the barn.

If it was an indoor ceremony, it wouldn't be a question to even have them bc there's a quick fix to that.

You're not being harsh. You're not seeing or reading the entire picture.

I don't usually comment on etiquette questions because it's not a huge deal to me. However I feel it would be very rude not to let them attend. These people are going to be your family forever. You should want them there. And the infants should be allowed. Especially if they're breast feeding.

And so what if you hear them cry walking to the barn? I'm sure other people will be talking, laughing, whispering.

Having a crying baby at your wedding won't be the end of the world. If you don't though however your family will give you crap for it forever and it could strain your relationship with your brothers.

I would be offended if I were your SIL. My cousin will be at my wedding with her three month old and if he cries I'm sure she will just get up and go somewhere else with him to not disturb the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Everyone read your post. We just don’t agree with your idea. It’s rude. If you’re making an exception, the exception extends to the ceremony. If not, I’d expect this to forever change your relationship with your brother and SIL.

FWIW, newborns don’t cry loud enough that if someone walked away from the ceremony area they could still be heard a two minute walk away. Whether you’re a mom or not, you should know that. My neighbors can’t hear my kid cry when we’re all outside.

View Quoted Comment I read what you wrote thoroughly and responded accordingly, and stand by my response. You asked the question, please don’t be defensive when you don’t get the answer you want.

View Quoted Comment Everyone read your post.

Babies sleep a LOT. If one of them starts to fuss, their mother can sweep them away. It’s highly unlikely you will hear them crying for the entire two minute walk back indoors. It’s not like they have a microphone attached to them; if they do get loud, their volume will subside the further away they get. A two minute walk is not that far. We had a newborn at our outside ceremony with a similar walk to get back inside. The baby was fine. She woke up from her nap and the mom immediately got up and stood in the back bouncing her. If she would have gotten loud, it would have been a quick walk back inside. It’s not like the moms are going to be lingering with their fussy child at your ceremony.

No new mom is going to leave their three month old with a complete stranger, no matter how short. I think you should reconsider asking this as these women are about to become a part of your life forever.

I would have an extremely bad taste in my mouth if my new sister in law asked me to skip her ceremony or leave my newborn with a stranger.

I would never leave my newborn. Anyone who suggested I should (especially childless themselves) would lose serious points in my book. Not that that should stop you, but I'd definitely sit out the wedding and I know the baby's dad would as well. Newborns sleep and eat. They don't cry much.